A Different Warning Bell - Comparison Is The Name Of The Game!

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Happy To Have Madam's Approval, This Time!

Dear Ambika,

Thanks for your poetical words of praise. The simile regarding the pianist and the audience's fingers is quite refreshing. (If you have not patented it, I might use it somewhere, Madam, with your permission)

Fingers do hurt, when I write, Ambika. They hurt even more when I what I typed for some 15 minutes (filling up two pages) vanished into thin air thanks to the tricks played by my computer. But the hurt is healed when I my heart gets massaged by such wonderful posts as yours.

Thanks once again,
regards,
sridhar

Preethi · Nov 30, 2006

My final views...

Dear Varalotti,

Thanks for the reply. Just making my final point !

Varalotti my opinion is, one cannot define Comparison in general terms, Comparison is subjective and each have their own definition and outlook towards it. Well, I agree with you, Narayanamoorthy or Page might be a role-model or a benchmark for us to grow, but even to set those standards or benchmarks or whatever you call it as, comparison acts as a tool to choose your role-models. I may compare myself with 100's of people around, but finally choose only 2-3 as my role-models ! Enlightenment sometimes comes out of (both good and bad) comparisons too !

I again emphasise that its the mind's interpretation of many comparisons (rite from your dad/mom to even aishwarya rai and Mrs. Ambani) that decides your attitude. Whether you compare the good and take the good, or compare the bad and take the bad, or compare the bad and still not to take the bad but look for the good , is all in our "head" only !

Hope I have made my point clear !

Well, I shall catch up with you on my concerns over Plus two issues too, when the appropriate discussions/thread is started ! :mrgreen:

Overall, this topic of discussion, had been interesting to view and participate !

Love,
Preethi

meenu · Nov 30, 2006

very good post

Dear Varalotti,
This week's post is real thought provoking. Poor children. In their eagerness to make their children achievers the parents, I agree mostly it is the mother,they set targets at a seemingly smarter child and thus prick the bubble of enthusiasm in their young ones. But as kamala said appreciating a friend's new buy is good , I feel. Otherwise how do these shops survive? the Chennai silks, pothys etc do need us fior survival, isn't it?
Regards,
Meenu

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

Well, my point here is..

Dear Anjana,

my point here is that there is no healthy comparison. I have told the story of this friend but I will tell it again.

One of my friends, a bright CA, used to get a lot of Government Audit assignments. There were many people who used to envy him. One day we happened to travel together. I am doing a lot of private audit assignments.
This friend told me that he was bored stiff with the Government assignments and would like to handle some of my private audits free of cost. I was puzzled. Then I told him God not only gives our daily bread but also lays down the way by which we get it. For you it is the Government audit. You would be surprised that there are many CAs who are envying you and you want some other work.

Anjana, I have seen my professional colleagues comparing their life with their counterparts in the US, Singapore and Gulf. Even a degree holder in his 30s would make something like 60000 $ a year. And if you convert it into Rupees you get a mind boggling figure. The Indian CA will pine - see a mere graduate makes much more than what I do.

But the worst, stupidest and the meanest comparison is that which is in men when they compare their earnings. Life and work in one country cannot be compared with that in another country. There are a million factors which have to be considered to assess the whole situation, and this makes the comparison ridiculously stupid.

Any comparison induces some kind of stress or other. So it is better we count our blessings and thank the God who gave them all.
regards,
sridhar

varalotti · Nov 30, 2006

I would love to continue... but..

Dear Preethi,

Lets go back to the definition, Preethi. Choosing a role model is not comparison. Seeing many role modles like Azim Premji, Abdul Kalam, Naryanamurthy to choose one among them, again is not comparison. When you select a role model for yourself you are drafting the mission statement of your life in terms of the achievements of the model chosen.

Another point is that you do not compare yourself with the person to be chosen as rolemodel. By definition a role model sits at an incomparable height and you cant compare.

When we go for leadership camps and handle sessions on goal-setting and vision definition we tell the students not to choose their peers, their cousins or even their parents as rolemodels. We urge them to aim high.

Let me make one more distinction. Role modelling comes when the person is in the beta-version of a human being and wants to benchmark somebody. Comparison comes much later in life. When the person has made most of her career and life choices and then looks into the choices made by her peers, neighbours, cousins et al.

I hope I have made the distinction clear.
Discussion on Plus Two will not just be a thread; it will be a huge rope. ha ha ha
Thanks for the interesting arguments, Preethi.
Varalotti

varalotti · Dec 3, 2006

Sorry For The Delay! But It's Time To Relax!

Most Gracious ILites,

Sorry for the delay in posting this Saturdays thread. I dont want to load you anyfurther with comparisons, warning bells and tributes.

Come join me for a walk along the banks of River Vaigai.

A Maduraiite like me can fill up a whole book on River Vaigai. The great poet and Folklore Researcher A.K.Ramanujam (His famous book is the Flowering Tree) is from Madurai and has even composed some beautiful poems on Vaigai.

But I just being an accountant could only write what I know and what I feel about our one and only Vaigai.

Come Ladies, let's start walking.

Regards,
Varalotti

varalotti · Dec 5, 2006

Time For Some Action,Ladies!

Most Gracious Ladies,

After the refreshing walk along the Vaigai river its high time we get back to business. We are still in the comparison issue and this Wednesday, we have a full short story of mine on this subject.

I would be grateful to have your presence there in the thread and still more grateful to have your comments on it.

Regards,
Varalotti

shgaddam · Dec 7, 2006

Thanks

Sridhar,
I am a new joinee in IL. A few browsings here and there in the site, I'd come across your thread, Wednesdays with Varalotti and Saturdays with Varalotti. I just happened to go through a couple of short stories of your Wednesdays thread and liked them. After going through them, I really felt very good. I am at loss to express the feeling I had after going through numerous short stories of yours. Every story has some meaning conveyed through it. Off Late, some of my ideas have been shaken, by people around me, cirtisizing for everything that I do, comparing for everything. And I started feeling very bad, in fact slightly depressed as this has been happening for the past few years. I even began to think that somethings which i am doing/thinking need to change compared to others. Of Late, I realized how much impact people around us have on our life. I find that many ppl around us, keep comparing on everything that one has and one does, irrespective of what it is. and comment it, irrespective of others feeling. I think this needs to change drastically in our society and one needs to learn to appreciate whatever good the other person does. The story of comparisions written by you, is something like a lesson learning for me. I think this needs to be read by many people. Only after joining IL, and particularly after reading your short stories my morale is boosted again. I really appreciate you for boosting the morale of so many ladies in this forum. I think, this is what is required for many of us, to be we successful in whatever choose.

A Hand of Appreciation for you :clap

Thanks a Ton Sridhar,

Bye
Shailaja

varalotti · Dec 7, 2006

Dear Shailaja,

Happy to read your post. I think you are one of the very first new joinees to have posted in my thread. Congratulations.

I am happier still that my writings have had a morale-boosting effect on you.
While we should listen to others views upto a limit, we should not live our life according to others' dictates. And Shailaja, every one of us is created so wonderfully unique that comparison with others is simply impossible in God's scheme of things.

And dont let yourself be influenced what others say. One thing I can tell you Shailaja out of years of my experience, that no one can be humiliated or insulted without his or her consent. Don't let others to do it to you.

Please dont place me on a higher pedestal. I am also traversing the same path and in the process of learning things.

When I started to write I had tons of rejections from magazines. Even the postman who came to hand over the rejected stories would give me a derisive smile. As I have stated earlier I never rejected any of my stories myself.

Similarly even if the whole world rejects you, you dont reject yourself. That is the secret of happiness and the surest way to success.

Wish you all the best. Welcome to IL. May your stay here be happy and purposeful.
regards,
sridhar