A day in my life

Gem · Jul 30, 2007

I am furthering my studies, that is... after starting a family and having children. And it is all a new world to me. It is beautiful though. I am learning alot, meeting a lot of challenges and taking one step at a time. I would like share a day with some of you. Here's a day in reflection:

Coffee aroma permeates the whole house. (The children call it ‘reeking’. Ouch! That hurts.) Coffee has been my stoic partner for the past one month. It keeps me awake and steady on my toes. But I am so tensed and uptight. My kids keep a safe distance from me. Their loving mother has become an emotional TNT; ready to explode at the slightest provocation.

I am trying hard to the meet the datelines of several assignments - all due around the same time. When was the last time I had to deal with assignments? More than 20 years ago? Was I this tensed then as an undergraduate? Or is this because of age? Am I that old? How lofty and majestic the idea of furthering my studies had seemed when I made the decision.

I look at the reflection in my bathroom mirror. An unrecognizable zombie with wild tousled hair stares back. Dark circled blood-shot eyes on a droopy face look unblinkingly at me. I frown at the face challengingly, it returns the frown unwaveringly. I shudder and swerve my gaze to the dressing table top. Is that my hair all over on the white top like badly woven spider webs? I take a deep breath. I turn around; the bathroom and toilet beckon me to give them a good scrub.

I console myself; few more days, and then my ordeal will be over. My neater alter ego acquiesces softly. I mustn’t stop the momentum now. If I do, I will run the risk of losing precious hours (cleaning the house) at the expense of finishing my assignments. I can’t do that. Time is crucial. The cleaning has to wait.

My sleep-starved eyes survey the rest of the house. Neglect is evident. The living room looks like a tornado-hit region. The one table holding all my precious things - documents, laptop and printer - is not enough. Files, books and stationery spill over from the table onto the four corners of my carpeted living room. Half-attacked chocolates, chips packets, biscuits, ginger beer bottles, coffee-mugs and sweet wrappers accompany them haphazardly. Have I transformed into a pig as well in these few weeks?

Unwashed clothes overflow in the baskets in the laundry room. I am sure the children’s rooms are a happy mess. I have no time to do spot-check. My kids are ecstatic.

The kitchen needs cleaning. Luckily my daughter is in charge of washing the dishes, otherwise the sink would have a pile-up. But doesn’t she notice the food particles on the dining table and the floor; and what about the rubbish basket sitting in the corner waiting to be emptied into the bin? I guard my tongue. Reprimanding her might backfire. She is a happy teenager in her own blissful world. If she gets into her cave-girl mood and retreats into her room for days, I will lose a reliable dishwasher.

Just a few more days, I console myself. Meanwhile I sense a coping mechanism muscle sprouting somewhere inside me.

Gem

arch174 · Jul 30, 2007

:yes: hang on..u r doing great job by pursuing studies after having grown up kids..best of luck!!!! for ur speedy completion of assignments:2thumbsup:

Nivedi · Jul 30, 2007

Dear Gem,

You are doing your studies, managing your home with growing children, finishing off your assignments and living in a distant land where you do not get helping hands like in India. I understand it's tough and I appreciate your spirit. Well done!:2thumbsup:

Rgrds,
Nivedi

rekhas · Jul 30, 2007

Best of Luck and keep it up. I am sure there really is light at the end of the tunnel, and it sure appears that you are working towards the goal. You will look back and be proud of your accomplishments.

Rekha

Shobanag · Jul 31, 2007

Your post brought back memories for me - I went back to school to do my masters when my daughter was in middle school - and holding a full time job. What was I thinking!! My full time job became crazy during the months of Jan - April (it is tax filing season - and that is what I did for a living). Needless to say, my 40 hour work week became something like a 60 - 70 hr/week, creeping to more than that as the deadline loomed on us! Weekends - what! - that did not exist for me - it was a never ending cycle - did not know what day it was! Assignments, tests, group projects - and chauffeuring my daughter to her various classes, laundry, cleaning - the list was endless! It is all behind me now - I know how you feel - you will look back on it as a distant memory and have a quite chuckle!! I truly believe that this experience will make you a very strong person. Hang in there and good luck! At least you can see some humour in all of this - I commend you for that.

Shobana

Gem · Jul 31, 2007

Dear Arch174, Nivedi, and Rekha,
Thank you for such loving encouragement. It means a lot to me. I am able to continue my studies with the loving support of my wonderful family. My kids are gems. I thank God for that.

Actually, most of the time it is manageable and I am a reasonably calm person but come assignment datelines’ period, everything around me goes blur. The above piece was ‘a looking back moment’ of such chaotic time. It helped me to pen them down.
Thanks again all of you.

Warmest regards,
Gem

Gem · Jul 31, 2007

Dear Shobana,
Thank you for the precious glimpse of your days while furthering your studies. I don’t feel that lonely anymore in my endeavour.
I do part time jobs –clerical most of the time (that too only sometimes). I guess that is not as bad as what you went through. Yours seems an awful load to shoulder - a full time job?! I salute you, Shobana, with all my heart.

Warmest regards,
Gem

Shobanag · Jul 31, 2007

Thanks Gem - it was not all that bad. Good luck with your studies - keep us posted - when you feel like pulling your hair out - pen your thoughts down and you will feel better. I wish I had ILite at that time. Take care..

Shobana

slp807 · Jul 31, 2007

Dear Gem,

its good to know that u r continuning ur studies after a long gap,i know its very difficult to balance at this point but you are doing it,
CONGRATULATIONS and keep it up!!

ALL the Best :2thumbsup:

cheers
sreelatha