a big list of questions- pls help me decide :(

She sounds like she has personality disorder issue. I am no medical professional, but I understand what you say. When someone who should love you turns on you, it is very difficult. I think after starting a family of his own your husband should look at preserving those who are dependent on him. Yes, in normal circumstances the parents should also be right there with the wife and child, but from what you say I wonder.
I really do think you guys needs your space. How you go about it should be something that is comfortable for you and your DH. Hugs, lady.
If you ask me should you work, I would say if it is something you can deal with, there is bound to be guilt but if you learn to manage your emotions and be as positive as you are being right now about other situations. Yes, I know of breastfeeding working mothers. Even if you were to formula feed her because of how insane your work is, you are Zoey's mother and you are doing what you are doing with her best intentions. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Their best of course will not be your best, because all our needs are so different.

 

Pooh - Sorry, I'm probably deviating from answering the questions you asked, but please allow me to say this. I feel that peace of mind is what is important at the end. Working, not working; BF or formula; is decision you can take based on circumstances. As Tikka said, you will always remain Zoey's mom. And what she needs is a stress free mom. We guys already have the pressure of managing baby, home and work.
Believe me, EVERY DAY I pray that we get relocated elsewhere. But then, things are manageable. In your case, if you can move out, please do. Talk to DH and take a decision. Good luck and Hugs to you dear.

 

Krithika dear, I really love to have you around here, just for those lines. I need to cut paste this in my desktop or in my walls, read it often
Ramya, hugs again, for voicing out the same.
Poonam, no suggestions from me, as all the excellent pointers are given here. Hugs.