a big list of questions- pls help me decide :(

Hi Poo,

Whatever decision you make as long as you are happy without being forced thats the best decision. Sometimes its good to keep your heart aside and think by the mind. Heart always confuses the mind. If you decide anything then there should be no looking back no matter what in a given situation you will be able to manage coz all manage that way only.
In our office, there are girls who have joined after delivery @ 2.5 months and the son was on buffalo's milk can you believe it, I just asked her is your son managing well and she said yes. Poor girl had to join and being from middle class family could not even quit. That's her decision but she does BF @ night and is making a living too for herself.
People are just plain happy in many situations its just what suits them best and I always tell them if you are happy there's nothing like it. There should be no burden or worry lines on your forehead once you taken a decision bcoz you have taken into consideration things which will make you happy too. In every situation jot down the pros and cons. If the cons are more than pros you get your answer.
All the best!

 

Agree with Tikka. Check out how your HR is. And if you shift to Hyd, can you work from home, for atleast 2-3 days a week ....that depends on your comppany's policy.

But, you can still go to Hyd and not work, right? Or join work after DD is 1 yr.

 

Poonam - you dont have to discuss your personal stuff here at all - that is why I said you dont have to give your reasons here. I only wanted you to be clear in your mind about the decision because I have seen how much effort you have put into this pregnancy and baby. I'm sorry if I have hurt you - if so it was completely unintentional because the very last thing I would call anybody was a bad mommy. I have seen many moms who made their back-to-work decisions without thinking things through and then regretting it and I wouldnt want you to be one. If that is the only way for you then go ahead. The logistics can always be sorted out and Im sure all the working moms here will gladly help you out. Sorry if what I said diverted this thread - I never thought it would.

PS - I went back and re-read your first post and now it looks as though the decision has been made already. My mistake entirely - last night when I read it it sounded to me as if you were asking about the decision to go back to work so thats how I answered it. Now will everyone else please give her ideas on the real questions?

V.

 

Poonam, If you are thinking in the lines of how to pump in office, what all i need, etc, read AnithaPartha's thread. Lotss of pumping-working mommies,pavarun(sindhu), pmahensa(pooja) have jotted their experiences there. If you start another thread or rename this one on how to go about all this pumping, bottling, nanny/daycare when you work, people might help )) My 2 cents )

 

Poonam:
You don't know what the future is so my advice is stay home with your baby. Your real problem is your MIL so I think you should solve that problem and go from there. My observation is working during infancy is very stressful for all involved. I would also like to point out that you are irritated with MIL about that lunch but not your DH who theoretically could at least order out some food or figure out something easy like a sandwich.

 

Tina,, that is an interesting observation. Poo, I know your husband is a great dad. But I do think he need to do certain very urgent things about your relationship with your MiL.
Trust me, I know what you are feeling. Till recently, till I set the score straight with the in-laws I too wanted to move to another town to avoid confrontation. Out of sight is out of mind. But moving town only because you do not get along well with the in-laws is going to put you in an unenviable position.
You did tell me some of your issues and I do know they are grave. I hope there is another way for you and your husband to sort it out rather than having to move town. The other thing is you cant please everyone as a mother. If you are attached to your child someone will call you overprotective, if you work others will guilt trip you, if you are quite laissez-faire people will tell you you are letting your child run wild, if you have limits there will be others to dump on you about being "hitler mom" - thanks Nitha for that new coinage. You gotta do what you want to do. With the kind of bonding you have with your child, you will take the best decision by her.
You perhaps need a heart to heart with your husband about living under so much of stress. Not good for all involved. Good luck and hugs.

 

Poonam, your problems aside, it is worth contemplating your points. As you know, I am also only a first time mom, I dont know how to answer your questions. Only for the first question, I think it is a nice idea to introduce bottles. I always used to think what if I fell seriously ill and hospitalised all on a sudden and she is not used to bottles at all?

About going back to work, to be honest I am looking forward to it. Sometimes these days my head just spins, I keep forgetting things, drops stuff ;-) I think alll these happen because there is only one thing in my mind. So, I would only encourage if you wanted to do something else, it will only help Zoey.

My MIL passed away in May, she was such a gem of a person. When Laya was born, I kept saying to her in tears about her grandma who was waiting for her so eagerly.

 

Poonam:
What is the age of your MIL? From what you have posted I worry she is early Alzheimers or some other age related mental disorder. When you live with folks these things creep up and all of a sudden are a big issue. I finished two years ago 12 years of taking care of my mom who was senile and taking care of someone you love is so draining that taking care of someone you don't even like is pure hell. If she is unmanageable, perhaps you should consider some home for her for her sake and rest of family. If she is not so very old, still it can happen....I have seen it in those in 50's. Also, if her mind is deteriorating, she might do something that ends up being dangerous.