a big list of questions- pls help me decide :(

loonypooh · Dec 23, 2009

earlier i was thinking i wld let zoey grow, and resume work once i wean her at around 1-1.5 yrs... but thn on second thoughts, i thought i should resume work.

my office is set up in Mumbai where my parents stay, and they hv another branch in Hyderabad.
mumbai was exhausting for me, and more so for DH..... and although my parents stay there, they were practically were of marginal help sinc they both work...
DH said if i were to resume, we need to move to hyd...

the place whr i work, is a Hollywood animation n vfx studio, and teh interiors are such whr every cubicle is made of glass, NO PRIVACY...
:idea

my job is that of a visual fx supervisor, and hence there are no fixed number of hours whn the project is due..... its a crazy job, i remember being in offic for 47 hours once, without returning home...

so i was wondering, is it a good idea to resume, once DD is 6-8 months old?

and the following Qs i throw

1)will she accept the bottle now? since last almost 11 wks she has been latched on, on demand

2) should i slowly introduce formula to her once she is 4 months?

3) we hv storing facilities, and i can take time offs for pumping, but with these interiors whr do i pump? loo doesnt sound interesting

4) say if i pump at night and early mornings for the rest of the day, n dont pump wen at office, wont my milk supply drop down drastically?

6) i dont know if i am being plainly selfish, but wondering how wld it be to leave zoey with nanny? whom she hasnt seen at all , although DH wld be around, but he cant be with her all the time, wld be glued to his workstation

Aadhusmom · Dec 23, 2009

Poonam - I guess you already know that you are the best person to make the work decision. But my thoughts - why do you want to go back to work? It would help I think to think about the various answers to that question. Money? Fed up of staying at home? Cant/dont want to look after baby by yourself anymore and need a few hours away every day? Would mean too big a career break which career cannot take? Boredom? .......I'm sure there are many other possibilities too (I just pulled some of the top of my head). You dont need to even answer here; just think about it and be clear in your mind as to the why. The how will follow. Sorry I'm not answering the rest but if you are definitely going back to work I'm sure that the BFing part can be worked out.

V.

loonypooh · Dec 23, 2009

vanathi- my DD is the spark of my life, n the only person apart frm DH whom i cld do anything and everything for.... so boredom,being fed up.... etc is all ruled out...

am afraid if i answer why this wont be the right subforum to discuss... and u would direct this post to inlaws forum , which i wld never want to be a part of
staying with my MIL has become all the more impossible , and DH says the only reason we move out of cbe is if i were to pick up my job again...n staying in this city n not crossing paths with MIL isnt impossible, its a small city
just to give a taste of the sourness of this MIL-DIL relationship... i was in the kitchen 2 hours before i was admitted for zoeys delivery...fixing lunch for me n DH

anyway i guess u are right, its only me who can decide, the only prob being i am so indecessive abt this

Vishalini3 · Dec 23, 2009

Am not too sure Poonam,how to help you out, offcourse you both would have thought a lot on this, but i wanted to ask, do you think nothing can solve your MIL-DIL things, except moving out of city? What would you do,if dont have a choice of moving out or i put it this way, what would you do, if you hold no job, you never worked and you are a SAHM in Coimbatore? Any conselling of sorts for MIL?

VidyaaJ · Dec 24, 2009

Poonam, let me pour my thoughts here... I feel, you should not stop anything that you give Zoey now just to solve your problem with ur MIL...Why should Zoey miss your care and be with Nanny when it is just for your MIL... I would say-I know it is difficult and I may not be correct; just ignore her and do what you want to do and concentrate on your LO... But it is just my thoughts.. and you may have your own justifications.

Vidyaa

divyaprashmenon · Dec 24, 2009

Hi Poonam,

I would say to be with the baby for atleast 1 year.
In my case, I hadn't seen any baby growing up in my family..So, I wanted to be with my baby for the whole 1st year( the year in which the most 1sts happen)..I said to my DH that one day when I get back from office,I dont want to hear from my MIL , that my DD crawled/ walked for the first time. Luckily, I had an option of taking 1 year leave from my office. So, I used it completely.
So, I would say, if you have an option to be with the baby,enjoy being with her.

Divya.

Ami · Dec 24, 2009

Let me not talk about yr personal things..so, directly coming to the questions since I saw my cousin who is also working and sending her 1 yr old to the day care after her mom/mil left to India. But, she never took any break except for maternity leave.

1. Better late than never to introduce bottles, my daughter was fine with bottles even at her 5th month. Initially, they may struggle or cry, later, will be fine.

2. Introducing formula is a bit early, feel..becoz, my cousin was storing in the freezer all the bottles with her milk. It is a boring one to do coz, in the night you have to thaw and give the kid or else you have to nurse her. Once you get to the routine, you might be aware though the kids' routine will not be the same until they reach some stage.

3. My hub's colleague was in the same position like you. She would asked for conference room for pumping time in the office and again, not sure about INdia. Or else, try to come home for lunch..store more bottles and go back to your work which is also an option.

4. Again depending on individuals..my cousin used to do like you said-she used to pump only nights & mornings, again in the evening or night. She was fine until the baby was 1 yr, was nursing.

5. Do try to work from home very often hoping that it would be possible. If you have already decided to go for a job, then, better appoint the nanny a few months before you start working so that yr baby will get use to her too; your nanny will come to know the baby's routine and you can correct/guide if any though yr hub is going to be around. You will also get to know about her REALLY well. This is what, have seen my friends use to do for leaving the kids at daycare. Sending their kids to daycare when the parents are around. Otherwise, they will get cranky that too yours is very young and cant even express her feelings. Luckily, your hub is around & she is at her sweet home which are two consolations!!

Good luck..

loonypooh · Dec 24, 2009

i am sad that the thread got so deviated from what my concerns were...

Ami thanks for the input....i guess i hv been decided on this for last 3 days .

I am not a bad mommie, and no i wld never want zoey to suffer coz of anyone, infact i dont think she has ever suffered from being alone, her mommie is at her service all the time

i am one of those who cant openly share family issues with others, and hence i was avoiding coming to this point, and i thought this could be the right subforum

thank u ladies for ur input, i guess i will just rather be with her, that gives me peace of mind, and i dont hv to strain my mind too much , about how n what to do....rest i guess will fall in place eventually

tikka · Dec 24, 2009

Poonam, I have an answer to one of your questions... if you work with HR and find out if it is alright for you to get a room for pumping - say the stationery room or conference room as one PP said, it should work well.
Alternatively, you could put curtains up only while you pump in your room and leave a message for your colleagues not to disturb you. Crazy work is one thing, crazy HR is another. Good luck with your decision.

AnithaPartha · Dec 24, 2009

Oh my..
I was also in same situation few weeks ago and still in same confusion but diff situations..
Am also a working mom and after premmie delivery am also so much confused.. I give my milk for my rithik but thru bottle only.. I breast fed him just only once.. Planning to discuss this in separate thread also..

Decision making is too much tough thing I would say.. Also, Poonam getting help from soemone to decide will make you more confused only.. think urself and decide your best way !!