9 Year Old Extreme Stubbornness And Tantrums..please Help!

Very good move taking her for a walk and talking it out.
Before the next incident happens or today itself take her for another walk or find another opportunity and tell her clearly that she cannot talk to you like that. Establish that boundary now itself. (Been there done that. Sometimes tweens and teens infer wrong meaning when we show understanding and think now such talk is allowed. So clear that up.)
Tell her this was first time so you are letting it go without consequence but now she knows better so it had better not repeat.
Keep your tone light and casual like you are discussing school pickup or some other daily matter but maintain eye contact so she understands you really mean it.

BTW +1 for regular walk with kids. I recommend it highly. I used to do it with my boys and we used to discuss all kinds of things - didn’t have to be for a particular reason. Even now we all recollect those days fondly. Whenever they visit now they come for a walk with me.

 

Great!
Going forward, take her input before signing her up for classes. I made a rule that once I signed them up for anything, they couldn't drop out midway. They had to see it through, at least attend the duration I'd already paid for. Usually worked out to 5-6 more classes so wasn't too bad of a demand. I didn't make them re-enroll if they weren't into it. If it was a year long commitment I'd drag my feet and basically let them persuade me. Money doesn't grow on trees and so on.

 

In the year 1990, A free class of computer learning with hands-on opportunity provided to officers and their family members .

I wanted my son to avail learning . The timing was evening 6 to 8.
Son was reluctant as he was spending those hours gossiping with his friends.

So son was reluctant whereas i was eager. I told him i need his company. He joined and overtaken me in learning skills.

sometime, one has to do willy nilly what he or she wants his DS orDD to learn.

 

But at her age it is natural normal. A shy daughter was reluctant to attend judo classes. To make her shed shyness or inhibitions, mother too joined the classes and the duo got the black belt.

 

It's the age! They are trying on different identities and trying to figure out where they fit. This could just be as simple as some desired friend at school casually saying 'Martial arts! Yuck! They are so mannish!" to turn the kid off and refuse to attend another one.
This is another reason why maintaining open lines of communication (walk or whatever else you guys do) is so important. Tweens and teens hear many conflicting messages and they are trying to make sense of it all.

 

Indeed. But it is also said curiosity is mother of invention!
Thanks & Regards.

 

Yes that’s true but this is a little different. At least in this country or maybe in this era the kids encounter contrasting even opposing streams of thought at the same time, different immigrant cultures - your own, the mainstream, the pop culture, have to make sense of what is admired, what is accepted - its a lot. In all the glitz what is familiar, known or traditional seems boring or unnecessary to that age - that’s what I meant