81 Year Old Groom, A Window Cleaner And.... Varalotti In the US 9

Shobanag · Oct 8, 2007

Hi Sridhar - another inspirational post. I have come to expect it - so you better not slack off!! Kidding aside - it is so true that the senior citizens in this country have such a different attitude towards life, it is amazing. I had a neighbor (when we lived in another city) - who was over 70 years old. she became one of my very good friends. Every monday night, she would go bowling (she was in a league that competed). She invited me to go with her - at first I was apprehensive - my daughter was young and me being sort of new to this country was not sure. There was another conditioning- self imposed on me - you dont leave you your toddler at home to go out. But my husband was very supportive and told me to go. so there we were every monday - my neighbor did not drive - so I drove her to the bowling alley and we had a blast. It was fierce competition - had prizes at the end, birthday's celebrated, etc. We were a mix of women - all different ages - i was the lone Indian in that group - but it opened my eyes to so many things American. I always think of her zeal for life - her husband passed away and she lives by herself in a retirement home and I still call her and talk to her every once in a while. It has been rightly pointed out that for some reason, the conditioning of our senior citizens is so different - we can always learn the "good" from others can't we?

By the way, my father is a mason too! Has been one for so many years - remember helping him memorize something about King Solomon and the pillars, etc!! When he visits here, he contacts the local chapter and attends at least one meeting! He is very active at the CBE chapter.

Kamla · Oct 8, 2007

Dear Sridhar,

Very impressed to note what impressed you ! I am enjoying this series of 'Varalotti in US ' immensely .
People here on the whole respect 'life' in the right sense. They live it fully, not stopping at forty, fifty , sixty or even seventy and goes far beyond. I have always appreciated the way even the very very old go fix their hair, lunch out with friends and take trips and vacations, even alone, if need be . The same pride and respect is extended towards their work and nothing is belittling or shameful. Many many years ago, my mouth used to fall open in disbelief when a colleague or a friend said that her boyfriend/hubby was a bricklayer or carpenter. I used to wonder how it is possible for a smart and a beautiful looking officer in a civil service job to love someone so below their 'status'. I realized what it is to be proud of one's vocation or job...nothing is small or big. If a garbage man does not pick up our garbage, imagine our state ( or status !) then ?:-D
As for the icecream metaphor is simply too good!:clap

Great going Sridhar, looking for more and more !

L, Kamla

sathya · Oct 8, 2007

hello sridhar

your took the cream
about ice...creamssssssssss...!
thats true too...!
we have freedom to choose...!
that is not available anywhere else...!
we can like the cream or not
we can even hate it
we can be the cream...the highest flavour yet..!
we can make our own
we can alter it with more nuts or flavours
we can call a stone a cream
and cream a tree...!

natta kallum seevanenru naalum
..........................vananguvaar
natta kallum pesumo
nathan ullirukkayil..............thirumoolar thirumanthiram.

i can write my own ganesha stories
( i have...!)
blend hanuman and ganesha
to make a new ONE
and absolute freedom
to pray, cheer or whatever

...............
ingum meendukonduthaan varugiraargal
angiruppavargalai notice panna
pala per irukka
chicken soup for the surviving soul
gives numerous incidents
...ingu mounamaai
kaariyathil kuriyaay...
............
viyanthu solla niraya irukku
v elinaattil...
iruppinum sridhar
oru vilambarathil kaattiyathu pol
sila kavalaigal, thik thik anubavangal
mudinthathum
nallavelaay
naamooril
kuzhandaigal
pachilam kuzhandaigal
thani arayil thaniyaaga uranguvathillai....

kaathirukkum ketta kanavu vanthaalum
ammaavin (appavin )
kathakathappaana aravanaippu....

sathya

varalotti · Oct 9, 2007

Hi Shobana,

First things first. Tell me your father's name. (You may do it here or pm me) In all probability I might know him. I remember Madurai making visitations to Coimbatore and Coimbatore Brethren visiting Madurai. Yes, we all do that memorizing stuff. And that helps us a lot in so many ways. I would love to substantiate that here. But I, like your father, am bound by an oath of secrecy not to divulge the secrets.

Your bowling experience with the senior citizen is quite inspirational too. With a dose of intended pen, I can say that I am bowled over by this incident.

It has been rightly pointed out that for some reason, the conditioning of our senior citizens is so different - we can always learn the "good" from others can't we?

That's true Shobana. We can definitely learn from others; but the problem is that we should first accept in the heart of hearts, that we are in no way superior to them nor are we inferior to them. If we understand we are just different, then we can compare and learn. But the problem with us Indians is that we never have this attitude.

We either accept foreigners as far superior people and ape whatever they do, (otherwise why on earth should we be forced to wear a full suit in a place like Madurai where the summer temperature is about 104 degrees) or denounce foreigners as "people without culture or morals" and completely throw away the good things they have to show. We either throw the baby with the bathwater or worse still, at times retain the dirty bathwather and throw the baby away.

If Varalotti in The US series serves to at least make a dent on that attitude then for me the mission is accomplished.

Now I am really jittery. You have started expected much from me. How I am going to deliver? May be I should put in a prayer at "Let's Pray Together".
Thanks, Shobana for the post.
regards,

varalotti · Oct 9, 2007

Dear Kamla,

Thanks. When my post is approved, applauded and appreciated by a person like you, it is a sort of reassuring for me. It feels comfortable to know that you are on the right track and no course corrections are necessary.

People here respect life, respect labour. They attach little value to things and don't care a damn about what you are doing privately. People rush to help if they sense you are in real trouble.

But honestly, Kamla, there is also the dreaded otherside. I have collected enough materials on that. I want you and all the ILites to tell me whether can I post some anecdotal posts on the "other side" too. That's the side I detest. But as a writer that to me seems more amusing than the right, soft, just side.

I would like you, and all the ILites, to post your views before this evening so that I can get the "other side" post ready for this Wednesday.
Love,
sridhar

Vandhana · Oct 9, 2007

Dear Sridhar,

I vote to hear the other side too. So please do post that too. And then maybe we IL ites can agree to disagree if needed!!

Vandhana

Shobanag · Oct 10, 2007

There are positives and negatives everywhere - let's see your take on the negatives.

varalotti · Oct 10, 2007

Hello Sathya,
Thanks for honouring this accountant with your poetical presence. I liked your example of blending Ganesh and Hanuman. Well, that's the kind of freedom our religion allows. They say Hinduism is the most catholic of all the religions. That's the only religion in the world which lists atheism and hedonism as part of it. The only religion where the head of another religion is listed as an Avatar. The only religion where you are free even not to follow it, free not to worship any God or worship any form as God.

நட்ட கல்லும் பேசுமோ நாதன் உள்ளிருக்கையில்

The next line is even more profound. The cooking pot and the spoon are there with the food all the time. But they don't know anything about the taste of food.
சுட்ட சட்டி, சட்டுவம் கறிச் சுவை அறியுமோ?
Thanks for reminding these great lines from Thirumandhiram

And you are right, Sathya. There are some anxieites, griefs, "dhik dhik" experiences here. I want to write about some of them this Wednesday. Looking forward to see your presence and poetry there too.
regards,

varalotti · Oct 10, 2007

Thanks Vandhana and Shobana for voting for seeing the other side as I saw them. In a few hours the post will be uploaded.

These things do happen in India. But I am worried about their intensity, about the attitude of the people in dealing with such situations.

And another caveat. I am not narrating these incidents to degrade US. I am telling these because I want this great country to grow over such things some day or other in the near future. Otherwise the country is at a great risk.

regards,

sujathae · Oct 10, 2007

Dear Sir, Interesting write up on 81 year old groom, a window cleaner and the cancer patient. As u have said in our country a person who is more than 60 searching for a bride is never appreciated. We can recollect the objections that came up when Periyar married Maniammai. The youngsters here never understand how important is a support for an old person. What they want is soul mates at the later ages. If that is understood our society will not blame those who look for a companion at later ages.

I donot agree that dignity of labour is due to the high pay packet he gets there. It is because the fellow beings respect each other. They treat human beings as HUMANS. In our country it was not there right from the beginning. The first caste system came into being when the people were divided based on the work they do. They said the people who chanted vedas belonged to high caste and people who cleaned toilets belonged to the low caste. The so called low caste people were treated badly by the high caste people not knowing that if the low caste people were not there they will be stinking. How can one find dignity of labour in such a society? Never. A person can feel proud about his job only if he is respected by the society and the people around him. If he is not even treated as a HUMAN BEING how he will have respect for his job.

Sorry i didn't mean to hurt anyone. I am just conveying my feelings.