1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

6 Yr Old Crying Often

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Vedhavalli, Feb 22, 2021.

  1. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    787
    Likes Received:
    1,118
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    My child is 6 yr old, of late she is crying more often on her meal time.

    I cook mostly her favorite food yet she complaints and cries.
    How to fix this?
     
    Loading...

  2. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    3,130
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    What is she crying about? The food or something else in general?

    My 6 yr old cries as well if I make something that she doesn't like and what she likes/doesn't like keeps changng on a daily basis. But we have a rule that she needs to eat whatever is cooked for the rest of the family and we can't make separate food for everyone per their likes. If it is usually about eating, we just ignore her and tell her she is welcome to not eat if she doesn't want to, but cannot get a snack or anything else after. Sometimes we are just too tired to deal with her, and just end up giving her thayir saadham, that she likes! I guess at 6, they are really just still learning to deal with their emotions, so being patient is the only advice I have I guess!
     
  3. NOW

    NOW Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    Are you giving the meal too soon or too late? Timing out snacks and meals to have at least 2 hours gap will make them hungry. On the other hand sometimes they become cranky if it is too late and throw tantrums.

    Try to understand how kid's appetite is on that particular day, week etc.. example: kids show more interest in food when they are going through growth spurts.

    Sometimes you have to let go of them not eating the meal offered and they will learn that they will get hungry if they skip the meal. It is hard but worked for my son when he was 5 years old.

    Cut the access to junk foods and have limited healthy snack options at home. When there are not too many snack alternatives at home they will automatically start looking forward to a cooked meal ;) . At 6 years they are still figuring their taste preferences, independence and decision making etc.. So, do not worry and be assured this is just a phase.
     
    anika987 and Vedhavalli like this.
  4. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    234
    Likes Received:
    328
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    +1 to this approach, we are experiencing the same attention seeking from our almost 6yrs old. We set the expectation that everyone in the family will have the same food and there will no special requests entertained, most of the times she will continue to have the food, its all just the first bite drama :D and we anyway ignore!!
     
    Vedhavalli likes this.
  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    6,035
    Likes Received:
    9,583
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    @Vedhavalli - Under normal circumstances, when a six year old acts up at meal times, we can ask them to eat what’s offered or leave it. The current situation is anything but normal. I’m a grown adult and I’m having severe covid blues this month. I can only imagine what a six years old who hasn’t been to school in a year, hasn’t had peer interactions, has to sit facing a screen all day long, doesn’t have a sibling to play with etc must be going through. Sometimes attention seeking behaviors do point to an underlying fear or confusion.
    If the weather is getting better where you are at, try to start spending at least 10-15 mins in the sun every morning and evening. Let her play outside daily. Going for short walks, even around the block is a great idea too. That might even increase her desire to eat. Doing non school related activities without the use of a device or a TV like baking, painting, card making, seed starting(now is a good time for it), kiddie yoga(you tube has some), working with Amma on laundry etc will also help her.

    It’s hard for mothers with young kids these days. Teaching them itself is a full time job and keeping the busy while doing everything else that we normally do is an added stress. Hang in there. Hopefully there is an end to this soon.
     
    peartree, Vedhavalli and Rihana like this.
  6. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,196
    Likes Received:
    437
    Trophy Points:
    158
    Gender:
    Female
    I think this is normal. All kids do that. My daughter is same age and does not eat well or healthy at all.
    No fruits at all. All she wants it bread or cereals or cheese pasta.. all processed food. No roti, no curry, no rice, no egg.
    I feel one reason could be rebellion against me. Other is i do not put food in her mouth anymore. I give her and she does not eat, i shout, get mad, try to force, then fail and let it go.
    She was much healthy eater but changed gradually from school to then covid situation.
    She does not cry but keeps food on her plate but won't eat for 2 hrs. Same thing in front of TV, she would sit with plate and won't eat for like 2 hrs.
    I am not able to enforce rules like 'no snacks before /after' or 'eat what is on plate' . I do not have much support at home and have toddler to deal along with job.
    If you have energy, you can put food in her mouth, distract or try to deal with other ways.
    Else try to be strict for few days, it might take a week or so before it starts working.
     
  7. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    787
    Likes Received:
    1,118
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you @Laks09.
    You have summarized beautifully. I agree hunger is psychological too.

    I asked calmly...she said not hungry.
    I'm giving smaller portions.
    I started taking her out for cycling 20 min 10 min walk. We do crafts arts, she has a chore chart to help around.
     
    Laks09 likes this.
  8. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,160
    Likes Received:
    3,130
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @Vedhavalli , I wanted to come back and give you some suggestions that I think has worked well with my 6 yr old. Usually, when I find her going into one of those modes, like starting to cry, I start a countdown from 5 to 1, and tell her it is for her to stop crying and another countdown of 5 to 1, and tell her that it is for her to bring her face back from crying face to normal face. I think this countdown gives both of us the time to calm down, for her to focus on something else other than crying and me, to not instinctively react in anger or giving in to her. This took some time, but it did work. If she doesn't stop crying with the first 5-1 countdown, I give another countdown and she usually calms down by the second time!

    Another thing I found, if she is crying about food, is to involve her in the cooking with me! I let her stand up on a step stoll next to me when I am cooking and let her put in salt or sambar podi or let her press the buttons on the instant pot or some little chore like that. She sees what's going in to what she's about to eat, and that seems to make her better receptive to the food! I found that having a chore chart did not work, since I keep telling my husband that we can't have schedules to do stuff at home, and I find that with a chart, my kids tend to just want to finish that quickly, instead of considering it as something that just needs to be done as part of running the household.

    Of course, there are times when I also lose patience when there's constant whining or crying and in those times, a super loud yell from mom and finding mom walking around the house sulkily is enough to even have the neighbor's kids quietly do what we ask ;-) I am not proud when I react like this, but sometimes when the kids are also acting up and the other adult in the house is also acting like a kid, it gets a bit too much!

    Good luck!
     

Share This Page