1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

3 Yr Old - Not Eating Or Always Crying

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by sanjuruby3, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,357
    Likes Received:
    531
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    My kiddo started day care about a month ago. Ever since, I see behavioural changes in him, he is always fussy crying for any small thing and will keep crying till his demand in fulfilled. He can cry for like an hour straight and won't stay in a place to cry, he will follow you, and cry right in your ears, will pull you.
    He is always sick and does not listen to follow hand washing or cleaning up routine.
    And eating - he is barely eating anything. I also started worrying less about his eating but then i get soft after some time i try to give him something, no...nothing at all...
    Things he used to like before - like yogurt or paste.. nothing.
    I still do not worry much about food but more about his attitude or crying.
     
    Loading...

  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,682
    Likes Received:
    6,270
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    If he just started daycare after being at home all this time then he will go through a phase of getting sick. My kid started daycare at 4 months and the entire first year was a blur of one illness after another.
    I would take him to the pediatrician to make sure he doesn’t have something like an ear infection going on. That can make kids very upset.
    Are you satisfied with the quality of the daycare? Many places are facing staffing shortages now and the standard of care may be affected.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    2,537
    Likes Received:
    6,965
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Sanjuruby,

    What you have mentioned is a typical toddler behavior. Crying, not eating and behavioural changes once he started going to day care.
    Toddlers cannot regulate their emotions themselves . Their brain is still developing. :) very typical of a toddler.Accept his tantrums and acknowledge his emotions .
    Okay 3years of his life he's been with you /family and then sudden shift to day care. (Can you mention how long he's in the day care?) One month is very less for him to accept that he has a shift in his schedule and be all happy with this new arrangement.. He will take time and give him that time. It'll get better. For each kid it varies.
    Does he cry when you start to the day care? If yes prepare him the previous night and keep telling him gently positives about day care, how he can meet his friends/teacher/caretaker, how he can play there and how he is gonna love it etc.
    If he is cranky after day care please monitor his activities at the day care. Check with the care takers if he's cranky the whole time he's spending there or he does enjoy playing with others etc.

    Regarding eating : I hope you are sitting together and having meals as a family.
    If not as a family at least you or his elder sister need to sit with him and eat together.
    Keep modelling eating and exaggerating the eating process.
    Involve him in cooking meals like plating the food, ask him to serve the food on his plate or serve to you. Make his meal times interesting for him.

    As Malstorm mentioned rule out any physical issues which is triggering his emotions like ear infection, stomach bug etc
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2022
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  4. sanjuruby3

    sanjuruby3 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,357
    Likes Received:
    531
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    He goes full time/3 days. He does not nap there so he comes home full cranky and again no dinner..will eat snack /milk keep crying for everything and sleep, hardly sit for dinner
    Days he is home -vacation/weekend same won't eat anything meals will pick junk here there, want icecream, want ice, want popsicle want cookie..want this that..

    stomach bug/infections - yes he keep getting that every week, he gets sick and about each alternate week, we visit doctor, antibiotics, that cycle is on and on.

    Days he is better and healthy - same eating habits as when he is sick.

    As family we do not sit and dine in. I can not do anything about it. My Husband wants to eat alone. He does not even come near when we are eating. I eat with kids and basically struggle, you sit and eat, bring this that...
    Me and H had million fights over it and i have given up now.
    My son does not sit at table at all, he will keep moving, wont sit or eat at all. Only thing would keep him sit for some time is TV, which i do not want myself but i am tired to telling everyone to eat.
    Anyways I will have to keep working on it...mother earth keeps circling around kids :)
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  5. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    136
    Likes Received:
    104
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Hav u discussed with daycare teachers..i think you should also discuss with the pediatrician..No i dont think this behaviour is normal..plz try to find out..i think the toddler needs more love and time..mayb thats whybut try to figure out.
     
    Thyagarajan and KashmirFlower like this.
  6. NOW

    NOW Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    369
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    The constant illness and changes in his daily schedule between daycare and home is probably over whelming to him. I faced this exact issue when we started sending my younger one back to daycare last summer. Then I changed her schedule from 3 day to 5 day and would pick up at 3:30 PM.

    Try to fix his sleep hours first and make sure he gets to sleep and nap consistently around same time every day. That will make him less cranky and energized to cope up from all the sickness. Plan a menu that is very easy to put together and offer small quantities at a time. Offer 3 Meals and 2 snacks at specific times and try to be close to the daycare schedule as much as possible.

    That said, it is not easy for working moms to plan and prepare 3 meals a day when husband does not pitch in with helping the kids with meal times . I have been in your shoes with both my kids and I learned few things over a period of time. Planning a weekly menu and incorporating what the kids may like in one way or other. Example: I will make smoothie and make sure they are very yummy with bananas , honey etc.. ; even toasted whole wheat or multi grain bread with thinly spread out nutella & peanut butter , organic chicken nuggets etc... imitating the flavors and snacks they like... It takes some time and patience but soon he will gain his appetite back and look forward to meal times.

    Also even if it feels like they are not finishing up all the food we serve them, over a week things balance out and you will see small improvements.

    Depending on your work schedule you can either eat an early dinner peacefully or give the kids early dinner and then have your dinner. For few years until your little one becomes independent you can work around this. I did that for many years and still do a lot as eating my dinner with kids, or eating after kids late in the night and then cleaning up kitchen was making me very frustrated. I eat dinner around 6:30 PM and then give my kids dinner at 7 PM. In summer this gets pushed to 8 PM as kids sleep and wake up a bit late. I wish we eat our dinner together as a family but it never happens unless we are dining out or special occasions or we have guests. I gave up on this with my husband and made my peace with it. I am slowly coming to a point where me and kids are eating together but it is not perfect. I will finish my dinner and end up feeding my younger one the last few bites. sigh !!!

    Hugs to you and understand your situation fully !! Hang in there.
     
    Rihana, Thyagarajan and KashmirFlower like this.
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    2,537
    Likes Received:
    6,965
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Babies/toddlers are routine creatures.
    If possible send him on all the days to day care. Full time Or part time depending on what works for you. Because once this 3 days per week and other days at home is a shift in his routine and that could be affecting him. Try same routine if possible.
    Don't stack junk and keep. Or keep to minimum at home. Hold your ground and don't offer just because he cries or didn't eat anything . He will understand that okay if I cry I will get junk. So be firm and don't offer. Eventually he will return to eating family food. They won't stay hungry for long.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,682
    Likes Received:
    6,270
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Has he dropped the nap altogether or is he unable to sleep only at daycare? If he has stopped sleeping in the afternoon then I would make his evening bedtime early.
    Food struggles are not uncommon at this age. My 3-year old is also a very picky eater and will constantly keep asking for cookies, cupcakes, popsicles and all kinds of nonsense. She can ask all she wants but she’s not getting everything all the time.
    We do a lot of first-then: First you eat your sandwich, then you can have an M&M. I also offer a plate of assorted fruits and berries and she will eat at least a few. Just keep offering variety and don’t give in to demands for junk food.
     
  9. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,105
    Likes Received:
    3,895
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Aww... OP he's only three, just a baby. I have a suggestion for the crying. Have you tried just holding him in your lap for 15 minutes the minute you get home? I agree with the other posters that too many changes and also falling sick constantly are too much for him and he just wants to be with you/feel you are there for him. That's why he's following you around. I understand you are busy, but just set a timer on your phone for 15 minutes or something and just sit with both children first thing when you all get home. Don't try to multi-task in that time. Don't run to kitchen. Don't lecture them. Just sit with them and just be. Give them your undivided attention. sometimes they may talk or sometimes they just want a hug. You'll be surprised at what an effect it has. It worked for me. I would pick him up and hold/hug him as I did stuff that couldn't wait or sat on the couch. After a while he would stop crying and slide off and go do something o other.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2022
    shravs3 likes this.
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    10,375
    Trophy Points:
    490
    Gender:
    Male
    The crying baby gets the molk- kid knows this dictum.
     

Share This Page