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3 years of hell come to an end now :) :(

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rajapriyab, Sep 24, 2013.

  1. malathia

    malathia Silver IL'ite

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    Good you are coming out of the bad relationship :( Dont worry God will give you strength and courage !

    Loads of Luv,
     
  2. Sonaliray

    Sonaliray New IL'ite

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    Best wishes Rajapriya...Be Happy
     
  3. msm

    msm Gold IL'ite

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    First of all kudos to you for taking the right step of going to policestation and complain against your husband.
    I've read through your previous posts and understood your issues and it clearly shows you are a brave lady, but only concerned with the lives of your daughters and getting confused of proceeding with divorce or not. I can clearly understand your situation.

    Now as others say, your husband might not have changed a bit, but may be afraid of the case against him and the repurcussions of divorce under domestic violence and trying to act as if he wants to get you/kids back. Lets give the benefit of doubt to him that he really wants you/kids back. Since you also dont want to have your daughters to be a single parented like you, just for the sake of them, I suggest you to give him a chance one last time with list of conditions say:
    1) you/he stay in a separate house along with your mom (or your mom stay in the next street/nearby house)
    2)House expenses has to borne by him
    3)He can go visit his mother/brother once a month, that too with you/kids only, no separate meeting
    4)Need to take care of the kids/their upbringing
    5) No more physical/verbal abuse of any kind
    Add any other conditions as you know his behaviour patterns very well.

    If at all you decide tohave him with you and in case you've not done family planning, pls do that before you join him again, as some sadists force unplanned pregnancy just to make more troubles/weaken the ladies/make them their slaves. in your case, he might plan for you to lose your job and thus become dependent on him So if you choose to have him, always look at him with a suspicious eyes for few years/be strong always, never ever show lineancy on the agreed upon rules.

    Now, if you choose to leave him, as others are saying, you are not doing anything wrong, rather you are giving your daughters a better environment to grow up in case your husbnad is not a person who will change.

    All the very best and be bold and God will be always there for you. Just believe in whatever happens happens for the best.
     
  4. sweetyk

    sweetyk Gold IL'ite

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    Extremely sorry for what had happened. Tight hugs to you. I don't have any thing to say..but you are in my prayers.

    love,
    sweety
     
  5. vanna

    vanna Gold IL'ite

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    hi Rajapriya, salute to your braveness that you stood through such a tough time!...may be its GODs wish to move you on to next level. Be courageous and move on!...One day your daughters too will understand that the kind of situation you`ve gone through and done a very right thing..I know it it easy to advice by very tough to go through it and experience it......be brave and move on!....Cheers!
     
  6. rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't get weak at nay point during this journey. Your husband will surely find all your weak points and use them to get you back to him.

    Now that you have taken a step ahead in life, why do you want to go back again two steps?

    Be string, your family is with you and you are in the prayers of the IL family. Rest assured and look forward to a better life with your children.
     
  7. Rajapriyab

    Rajapriyab Bronze IL'ite

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    Ladies,

    Just a update from my side. After 2 weeks of complaint, he came to my mom's house to see kids. I allowed him making up my mind that he is not my husband just a father of my kids. I didn't speak with him normally. Days went and after a week i asked him money for kids vaccination (Its just 5000) He told me that he cant give and asked me to sell my jewel.

    I didn't even reply anything and i took care of kids vaccination. Later he started to tell me that he want me to say that whatever the complaint i gave in police station is fake, and he wants to remarry he asked me whether am ok with that, keep on saying that I am not living with him for 2 years (have 4 month old baby) and all the bad words. I have all his messages for evidence and his calls recordings.

    Everyone asked me to give him a chance. I gave that not as my husband but as a father. Poor fellow he failed in that and clearly showed me who is he. I sent legal notice to him last week. Lets see what happens in court. Will update you about that.
     
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  8. shama146

    shama146 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi dear,

    Hats off to you. With two little daughters, you still stepped out of an abusive marriage. it really requires courage. :bowdown
    You are a good example for those women who endure abuse in marriages just because a kid is involved.
    You are in my prayers dear...
     
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  9. Rajapriyab

    Rajapriyab Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for the prayers friend.

    Yes..my mom raised me alone. My dad left us and married another lady when i was 4. After that my mom struggled a lot. She will prepare boli (kind of sweet) and sell it in school canteens.I scored very good marks in my 12th std so many social welfare organisation came to help me. I took educational loan also.

    I got job in IT MNC in 2007. Till that my family situation was very poor. I couldn't explain my mom's pain to raise me in words.It needs lot of courage and hardwork for an uneducated single women to raise a kid giving her good education.
     
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  10. Rajapriyab

    Rajapriyab Bronze IL'ite

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    You are right. Initially when my mom filed case against my dad (once he got remarried), lawyers didn't even help her in anything. So my mom couldn't receive anything for myself and her from my dad.

    My Lawyer is my mom's friend and he belongs to my native village. He is no way related to my husband and i know him for many years. He helped me for my education too. So I went to him for help. I hope he will do good for me.

    Mutual consent - am not sure whether my husband is ready for this. I am waiting for his reply for the notice. After seeing his reply only I have to decide.
     

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