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10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guidance

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by swt.charu, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    Hello Dear Ladies...

    Ok... one more bend in the road for me as a parent...

    I believe my son somehow wandered into inappropriate contents in youtube and it has got him curious. It's not a completely "wandered" .. he looked up for something like Sharukh kissing Kajol or something similar and a whole lot of recommendation followed ... one led to another and he landed in a top less this and top less that...he watched 4 or 5 of these videos and then switched back to his favourites..\
    (off late this man kissing woman has caught his fancy... he tells me at school the boys tease each other saying so and so is your girl friend and you go and kiss her)

    He usually watches on you tube his favourite musical reality shows like Indian Idol, Vijay super singer etc... he really likes these and himself sings well too.. I thought these are harmless and just let him be...The biggest mistake I did was that I did not switch on the restricted mode in you tube...

    On his tab usage itself...its restrcted to 1 hour in the afternoon and 1 hour in the evening during school days...holidays are the trouble... I being a working mom .. unable to engage him effectively during holidays...

    I need your help in the following...


    1) I think I should have a chat with him on his new interest... how do I do it ? What do I tell him ??
    I believe these distractions will in no way help him gain any real knowledge, he will lose his focus which is very important during "student" stage of one's life...

    2) Should I install parental control software which will give zero access to him to browser / you tube... may be couple of games and that't it..


    3) Is a gaming console better option than tabs ?? my thinking.. atleast the contents are not "cheap"??
     
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  2. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    calling @Shanvi
     
  3. PavaiVeera

    PavaiVeera Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    Hi,

    Put age restriction. Below 13. Better option for future too.

    Don't panic. Sit with him and ask to put schedule like for one day how long need to study, play, watch you tube, play games, family time etc. If he follow the time table well, give him some presents or go outing. Ask him to do continuously.

    One more Apps i found recently found "Secure Teen" for mobile phone and ipad. So you can control websites, apps , chatting and calls too. Even you can track them where they are.

    Take care.

    With Regards,
    Pavai
     
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  4. preesmiles

    preesmiles Silver IL'ite

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    It's always a good idea to get some kind of Internet filter or parental control software if there are children in the house. Net nanny is a popular one I have heard of. Your son should be able to access other safe web content with a filter.

    I think you should talk to your son about it as well. He is little and as he grows up he is going come across more and more of these things and he would need guidance on how to navigate these situations. I came across this beautifully written piece about talking to young children about inappropriate content that they might come across. Even though its written for parents of slightly younger children, the post gives a kind of script about how to talk to children about this difficult subject.
    Talk to Your Young Kids about **** | A Musing Maralee
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    The ideal thing is if parent can get in the first word on these topics, as much as possible. Once they know enough details about something, the novelty wears off, and they often become casual about that.

    The article link preesmiles mentioned is nice and brief. Like it says, rather than having 'the talk' formally, it can be casually be talked about as life happens.
    Don't start with this new interest related chat. Something else like appropriate touch, privacy, being safe in public bathrooms would be a good starting point.. then, mention about being careful browsing web from public places... and how youtube and other browsing history gets recorded somewhere somehow. Where to go for help in emergencies...

    If you are living in the middle-east, then, the above may need some tweaking.

    Try not to let the above show through much in your words or expressions. It will make him more curious. Advice that focus is important won't go well with a kid.

    Yes, absolutely. It is a necessity for almost any child, unless child is accessing internet only in presence of parent. Net Nanny and Norton Family are two common ones. Initially you can say it is to help him keep track of time spent online.

    The level of control is pretty good in those softwares. You can view a list of all URL's visited. And ban specific sites.

    Zero access to browser may not work, as school work may require google search and wiki etc?

    Not exactly. That is replacing one problem with another. Get him a gaming console for playing games, if that is feasible. If they play online (using the gaming console), they can chat with fellow-players. Unless you say he can only play offline.

    During the week, try to create other ways of communicating with him. Email, chat,.. whatever works.
     
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  6. danichandru

    danichandru New IL'ite

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    Hey as al said dont panic sit wth him n talk abt this gradually.
    Ask him to focus on his interest what he really want to achieve in future.
    Talk abt his target,achievement, goal in life n ask him to plan that way.
    Talk how male should respect female talk about the stories of women who
    R brutally abused by men. Lik tht he will slowly think about his mistakes n try it.
    Tell him being a mother u dont lik such a thing from her son. Tell him about he
    Should be respect by women .slowly he will understand everything.
     
  7. swt.charu

    swt.charu Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: 10year old son watched (for the first time?) inappropriate content,need your guid

    Thank you dear ladies for all the valuable feedback.. much appreciated..
     

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