Your spouse and their career ambition / financial ambition?

Career ambitions - No . I dont interfere at all in his career goals and ambitions. I dont think it is correct to pressurise him by imposing my ideas on him and pushing him for promotions and stuff.

Financial ambitions - Right now we are in mid-30s and I wish DH shows more interest in making investments for future. So, yes - I do discuss with him that we need to invest.

In our case, when I conceived, I gave up my career to take care of the baby. My DH works in IT and the pay is good, but with the recession, the job security has been a matter of concern. So, I believe it is important to invest wisely so that we will have a backup incase something goes wrong.

 

My DH is very ambitious about his career, his growth, doing PhD. He feels he is not able to do much as he is now married.

He thinks that he has dont a lot of sacrifice be it in his career or in doing PhD just for the marriage sake. He infact told that out openly a couple of times.

He does not understand that I have left right from my job to all my ambitions just because he is settled in this country where my hands are tied even to speak to people because of language barrier.

I want to get back to India now itself as what ever great he earns here, everything goes for clearing the debts that he keeps taking occasionally for the loss his dad has in India due to his dad's irresponsible activities.

If we get back to India then even I would be having a good paying job and be a support and also I would have some happiness.

 

Hi Spiderman1,

Good thread! I'm not married yet but I thought I'd weigh in...

My fiance is super ambitiousand I wish he'd mellow a bit. Aspirations for a great career/finances are fine, so long as they don't take away from other aspects of life. I wouldn't say I want my fiance to be less ambitious; it's more like I want him to have a balanced perspective.

My worry with sky-high ambitions is that a person will make having a great career/accumulating wealth his number one priority, his personal God, neglecting his family in the process. I imagine it would be no fun at all to be married to a money-grubbing megalomaniac who hardly has time for anything outside his job, won't you agree?

 

Hi maggi99,

Hugs to you! I sympathize with your situation. I hope your husband will realize that you also made a great sacrifice on your part by leaving your job and following him halfway across the globe. I wish you a fulfilling career and home life in the future and all the happiness in the world

 

Quite interesting questions and couldn't resisit not answering...

No

Neither.

Both of us are quite ambitious and over the years we have learnt to divert our ambition to the areas that matter to us as a family. It was quite well understood by us before we got married that both of us cannot be ambituos about career and we came to a mutual understanding that once kids came into picture, I will have to devote more to family - no regrets about it. As they are getting older, I am again back to reprioritising. On his part, he has kept up his end of the deal - very supportive in every aspect.

 

Yes i want him to be more ambititious. He was not much ambititious before evenn i too. But now i have some goals so i use to guide him and i am always behind him to make him more ambititious and change his way of thinking.

Regarding finance first i was guiding him and asking him to invest and to clear loans. Now he is doing everything by himself. I am very happy now and am much relieved. As he has got some maturity and plans regarding his career and finance.

 

Spiderman, I am happy the way things are with us regarding career ambitions and financial goals.

DH is very ambitious and aggressive when it comes to our careers and achieving our financial goals. I wouldn't want any less from him because that will be shortchanging his talent and potential.

I am also ambitious in terms of my own career and thankfully have been able to maintain that even while having a decent work-life balance.

So I wouldn't change anything.

 

thanks for your words janice