Bullying/Teasing in the lunch cafeteria..

adara · Oct 19, 2009

Malyatha said: ↑

We are vegetarians and we started sending our DD's lunch with her after the lunch aide gave her meat a couple of times (despite our written instructions to the teacher not to do so).

DD never complained about any teasing or bullying over her home-made lunches. However, one time, her teacher commented about the food (idlis / curd rice etc) and asked me why I wasn't feeding DD any "regular" foods such as "mac-n-cheese", "peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwiches" etc! I politely, but firmly, told her that "regular" is a VERY relative term, and, to each, his or her own! I made it very clear to her that my cultural equivalent of "regular mac-n-cheese" is thayir saadam & oorga (although I never send any pickles with DD's curd rice).

Something in my tone of voice must have sent her a strong message to never rake up the issue again because she left it at that and I have never had to field any questions about what I feed my kid and why.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the response Malyatha.
I really liked what you told the teacher...to each his own and regular is a very relative term.....How so true it is?

People sometimes forget that there is much more world than they actually know.

BTW your post shows you are in Tajikstan. How is life there? Just curious about education, general lifestyle etc. I have never talked to anyone living there.

Adara

rose2000 · Oct 19, 2009

Yes my dd went thru bullying when she was 6 yrs old.She didnt tell me for the longest time.I noticed that her lunch box would come back as I had packed.After talking to her so many times she finally told me that her classmates were bullying her bcos she is brining Indian food.But we moved to a different place and I couldnt talk to the school regarding this. But after that she didnt have any issues in the other schools.

kailashwathi · Oct 22, 2009

Hey Adara,

Nice post. I was looking for a one like this to post my question. My problem here is slightly different.
Couple of days back I went to join my dd at lunch. My dd always carries lunch from home since she does not like the school food. We now live in the US.
Actually, the school here does not tolerate bullying at all. I have heard from people some incidents where they were dealt pretty seriously.

My friend's dd and mine are class mates. I saw my friends dd sitting right across the table. It was a pity to see how she was covering, hiding her lunch while eating. Her entire lunch bag was on her food. The bag was so dirty...naturally with 6yr olds.
I went close to her and asked her in a whisper "Why are you putting your bag on your food. Keep it besides you" She said " I don't want others to see what I am eating since this is not their kind of food" It was roti and sabji. The moment I saw her lunch my mouth started watering. I know my friend is an excellent cook. I just aksed her again in a whisper " Did anyone here tease you" She said "NO". I said "oh....ok" and went back to my dd. I did not want to start a conversation there since she might get embarassed and moreover that is not the right time. But really ladies I felt sorry for her ...the way she was eating. It was so uncomfortable, her dirty bag on the food and hiding...UGH! I thought "Why does she have to kind of suffer like that when other kids are eating freely"?

I know my friend will feel upset if I tell her what happened. I dont want her to feel sad. How do I explain it to her and also I dont want her to yell or shout at her kid. I know these things have to be dealt very sensitively. My friend has that bad short temper especially with her kids. Again I dont want her to think I am poking my nose in their matters. There is a child involved in this so I am all the more worried. I have heard my friend telling me that her hubby does not like the kids carrying lunch to school from home. He wants them to buy there. She does not like that since she thinks school food is all junk. I never had any problem since my dd never liked school food.
I want really the child to eat freely and enjoy her mom's food and not be bothered about what the world thinks.

Please advise me here ...ladies...plzzzz. I know I can solve this with the help of you wise ladies.

Parvathi

kailashwathi · Oct 26, 2009

Plz......reply............someone!!

adara · Dec 3, 2009

I don't know what I would do in a situation like this.....maybe talk to your friend...again how will she take it?.....don't know really what to advise you.

May be other ILites could help.

Ladies, what do you all advise Parvathi?

Adara

Mahajanpragati · Dec 4, 2009

hi,
i was looking for such a thread where they give suggestion on how to deal with lunch time bullies.well,i am still looking for more suggestion.
these days i just ask my son the night before about the snack i plan to pack .if he says its ok then i pack that or let him give me any alternate.
still i feel its loosing battle as he is only 5 & there are years & years of school for him.but as all kids have to buy lunch from school itself atleast that is relief.so for snacks pack i can always go for some fruit or cake etc.
for parvathi,
all i can suggest she can tell her friend that eating chappati & sabji makes hands oily & yellow .same hands touch school books & as result the books & copies get dirty.also,kids seldom remember to wash hands before eating & eating with dirty hands can make them sick.so she can put something which does not spoil hands & a child can use spoon etc.

archanajl · Dec 4, 2009

hi adara,

nice topic to discuss. My son , five yr old, takes indian food (mostly rice) to school. We r in london.

We ( my kid and myself) read and discuss a lot about each food and their benefits. For example, we say spinach has iron and provides enegry for the cars (blood vessels) inside ur body. So during his lunch, he literally gives lectures to his teacher regarding his food and also advises(???) a lot about junk food.

Anyway, he also has a liking for the food brought by other kids. So he tells me about them and then we try it out together during weekends. He prefers to have only rice and curry to school as he thinks that it gives him a fullness.

Regarding Parvathi's issue, it is better to discuss with ur friend. It will be easier for the mom to explain to the kid and help her overcome this issue. If possible u can make ur daughter say something positive about the food brought by her daughter. Sometimes though they r small kids, this might help.

Love and regards,
Archana.