oh god, give me all the patience in this world

sailingboat · Oct 18, 2009

yeah, my inlaws are coming . They will stay here for 6 months. well, they are not the most horrible inlaws but mine is a love marriage so due to intercaste difference and all, they dont like me that much.

Well, they sit there all day on sofa and comment stuff like, "We wonder how it would be if our son married the person of our choice, would he had all girls or boys?"

Whenever some friends come to visit, they would say, "oh so and so rita is very pretty and fair than dil". And my mil prefers to talk to those who are fair! If i get a donkey with white paint, she will immediately talk and befriend the donkey.

Whenever i cook something my mil would say, "oh you dont even know how to cook this?"

And the most famous dialogue almost all mil's say i guess "my son used to be so chubby, he became so thin after marriage", as if i am starving him.

If i feed my children food, "oh they are not getting right amount of food", The pain of kids not eating food is enough, on top of it, how can one handle such pressure?

I feel like :rantbut, no i dont say anything because i am all patient, or atleast i try to be.

If i get tired and want to sleep early, my mil would say "you are not even 30, you can't handle stress", ya i wouldn't be so tired, if i hadn't had to cook breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, wash dishes, take care of children, take care of them.

My fil would comment "it is childrens duty to take care of parents, you should treat us like gods". well, i would treat them like god, if they stay there still and dont mutter a comment.

When we all go on a vacation my mil would say, "oh my poor son, he is driving constantly for 4 hours", ya he is not a baby anymore, he can handle that much stress. Imagine me in the back seat with 2 kids tantrums, yelling, cursing, fighting, feeding what not..

when we watch tv, my mil would say, "so and so politician is your caste, he is a rowdy, murderer", well, what do i have anything to do with the politician? just because we belong to same group...

That is why i am asking god, to give me all the patience in this world:bowdown.
Last time when they visited, i had 5 grey hairs. I hope my hair wont turn completely grey this time.

ShilpaMa · Oct 18, 2009

my best wishes to you.. keep your cool.. count till 10 and still if u cant digest then leave the room with a normal smile on face.
Also start loving those hateful comments & support her in what she says.. she'll get over if she cant torment/ frustrate u any further....

I am able to pass 1-2 mnths this way.. however 6 mnths is still more to hold ur breath for!!!!

shaguftatazeen · Oct 18, 2009

sailingboat said: ↑

yeah, my inlaws are coming . They will stay here for 6 months. well, they are not the most horrible inlaws but mine is a love marriage so due to intercaste difference and all, they dont like me that much.

Well, they sit there all day on sofa and comment stuff like, "We wonder how it would be if our son married the person of our choice, would he had all girls or boys?"

Whenever some friends come to visit, they would say, "oh so and so rita is very pretty and fair than dil". And my mil prefers to talk to those who are fair! If i get a donkey with white paint, she will immediately talk and befriend the donkey.

Whenever i cook something my mil would say, "oh you dont even know how to cook this?"

And the most famous dialogue almost all mil's say i guess "my son used to be so chubby, he became so thin after marriage", as if i am starving him.

If i feed my children food, "oh they are not getting right amount of food", The pain of kids not eating food is enough, on top of it, how can one handle such pressure?

I feel like :rantbut, no i dont say anything because i am all patient, or atleast i try to be.

If i get tired and want to sleep early, my mil would say "you are not even 30, you can't handle stress", ya i wouldn't be so tired, if i hadn't had to cook breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, wash dishes, take care of children, take care of them.

My fil would comment "it is childrens duty to take care of parents, you should treat us like gods". well, i would treat them like god, if they stay there still and dont mutter a comment.

When we all go on a vacation my mil would say, "oh my poor son, he is driving constantly for 4 hours", ya he is not a baby anymore, he can handle that much stress. Imagine me in the back seat with 2 kids tantrums, yelling, cursing, fighting, feeding what not..

when we watch tv, my mil would say, "so and so politician is your caste, he is a rowdy, murderer", well, what do i have anything to do with the politician? just because we belong to same group...

That is why i am asking god, to give me all the patience in this world:bowdown.
Last time when they visited, i had 5 grey hairs. I hope my hair wont turn completely grey this time.
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i pray to almighty to give you full patience so much but one thing can i ask you is your hubby on your side or mabapu beta if your hubby on your side then keep on inform him whatever they told and daily activities what u did to them and they to you and be calm and patience whatever they tell just ignore if situation rises means go on more then clearly onetime speak with them like a sword and cut there tongues permanently (means when water goes from ur head jab pani sar k upar sey jaiga tab) thensee if situation is like that only be as a deaf and dumb and ignore and do meditation more at that time to give u more patience c u soon have a nice day

blessed · Oct 19, 2009

just 6 months, a lil patience will do.

Imagine the plight of those ( including me) have to put up with these charactors everyday may be till the end of my life.

a16s · Oct 20, 2009

hi sailingboat,

As you are in US , can you try for community centre programs. So that you can cook food keep it on the table. And then just leave both in-laws at house and attend those programs with kids. So that you will find some space for yourself as well kids will be occupied with something.

Nandshyam · Oct 20, 2009

I am assuming you are just venting out here.

Not everyone is PERFECT and life is so precious to worry about such silly matters.

Anyways, Good luck !!

GiJoe · Oct 20, 2009

Looks like your IL’s are luring you to a fight or they are trying to provoke you and see how you react, you only have two choices just ignore their ramblings or go all out war with them, what do you want to choose?

Maneesha · Oct 20, 2009

Keys to survive here are
1. Have interaction only when it is required.
2. Keep urself busy. Do not be at the same place as them for longer specially in absence of your husband.
3. Detach your self with their comments. Pretend not to hear and do not respond back. Do things in your way. Do not entertain the comments and suggestions.
4. Ignore.
5. Keep your cool. Think this is another challenge in life and be determine to wind it.

All the Best. I know you can do it.