what was their reaction?

sayanka · Sep 29, 2009

hi all. What was your ILs' reaction after hearing your pregnancy news.My MIL sounded happy . More than that she is relieved that we are having a family now after 3 years of our marriage. It was our conscious decision, but she always tried to imply that it is my inability or unwillingness.When I told her eventually that it is mainly your son's decision as he is not interested to take responsibilities,and also has to pay huge loans etc. , she stopped asking from that day.Never asked her son ever though :biglaugh.
When she heard the first time, she said so I am happy, all his friends have big kids, it is just you who don't have any as yet.She ignores the monetary factor completely.Anyway still she is not a complicated person.

My FIL didn't care to say anything after hearing that. Rather within a few day he came up with an idea when my DH called them.He tried to influence him to sell out our own house that we have decided to keep for ourselves for future use.We are not at all willing to sell that one.But there is another property which they influenced and misguided my Dh to buy in spite my repeated objection.Then we realized though they knew that we don't want to keep the second property for long, he intentionally bought that for their convenience , without touching his own property , he wanted another house as their vacation place.That property is not an easy thing to sell.He knows that we didin't like it and all we want for our future is the first one. Still he is shamelessly insisting in different ways so that we sell out our own one, he is least bothered that I like that very much and don't like the other one at all, and we don't have plenty of money to keep going with both the properties.I don't know how much my DH understands his intentions as he is his dad after all.
We don't know the reason behind his desperation.But my married sil has no property and as they claim they don't have enough money for that. She won't live with her IL as she says, they are bad people and live in a nasty small place.So I guess my FIL wants to make some arrangements for them without any monetary deal.
So he is very indifferent in my preg news thinking it from different angles.
I don't know if I am thinking wrong and that's how fils reacts generally.
what is your experience?
Thank you all.

Malyatha · Sep 29, 2009

My in-laws were very happy to hear about my pregnancies.

Regarding your FIL's insistence that your sell your property to benefit his own daughter, that is how MOST in-laws are. Their own daughter and her well-being comes first, a son & his wife are usually treated like second class citizens.

Just be assertive and refuse to sell your property. If they want to make provisions for their own daughter, then they will have to do so with their OWN money, not their son's.

Good luck!

Bts · Sep 30, 2009

First of all Congratulations on your pregnancy. Its unfortunate when you should be happy and looked after you are worrying abt property issues.

If its not too urgent don't bother. IF needs immediate attention , discuss with your DH and tell him the pro 's , cons and what you want to do.

Hope things settle down soon for you .. Enjoy your pregnancy

blessed · Oct 3, 2009

I dont know if my inlaws were happy with my pregnancy because I did'nt c any reaction or happy expressions in my MIL's face, I was the one who told her after confirmation that too when I was 3 months preg, she did'nt even bother to ask me when I missed my periods for two consecutive months, I know she would have guessed it, but imagine she just did not talk to me about it.... its was strange though we live under the same roof, her two daughters gave birth to kids but still in my case she seemed to least bother. My FIL was happy because I heard him tell his other grand children that they will have one more kid in their gang.

sandu · Oct 6, 2009

My in-laws were all very happy to hear of my pregnancy. In fact, my mil was eager to hear the news for quite some time!

Looks like your fil is hastening to fix something for his own daughter, before you ppl have a kid and your expenses increase... may be your husband should have a frank discussion with his dad about this. As Malyatha said, your people need not be supporting your married sil, unless she is really suffering.

Good luck!
Regards,
Sandhya

gomathi123 · Oct 8, 2009

same here....
My FIL was so eager and exicted when he came to know that i was pregnant.
But my MIL, she did not seem to have any expression....

it was like jus another news for her....psst, i am not bothered...

Goms

Anabika · Oct 9, 2009

Both of them were very happy and excited. They were waiting for this news.

Anabika

amruthageeth · Nov 2, 2010

:drowningi have only father in law as my mother in law expired 3 years after my marriage after troubling me a lot. my father in law used to be anxious about us not having children. i got pregnant after 7 years of marriage.but when i told him the news, he seemed indifferent.. i have two sils who claim that i am pregnant because of their prayers only. both are obviously not interested in me and never call me to ask how i am. moreover my elder sister in law who was a divorcee recently got divorced. she stays in her father's house with her husband. she doesnt need her father there and excused herself by saying that somebody is needed with me now. she has taken up the house in her name and has driven her father (my father in law) out of the house. now my sister in law wants me to invite all her new relatives( new husband's people) for seemantham. when i didnt respond, she is saying that they are coming for the function. so shameless people.i am very sensitive person and keep thinking about my sister in law's tactics all day. she has troubled me a lot when i was in my father in law's place. i am really worried whether my anxities will affect my unborn baby.my DH is telling me to act with diplomacy. i dont know how. anyway let GOD take care of everything
:cheers