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Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Living?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by limkabook, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. limkabook

    limkabook Bronze IL'ite

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    Why Does Some Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Living?

    Are they insecure, because DIL's are young ?
    They don't want the DIL's to look stylish?
    Are they doing this to show MIL power?

    Pour in your opinions girls

    PS: My MIL is good that way. Infact she likes me wearing modern clothes , though i was not very comfortable in the beginning.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
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  2. Shilpa23

    Shilpa23 Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    My mil wants to wear dress whatever kind i want but, she warns me regading the colors.She thinks that her dil should wear the color which she(i.e mil) likes.She wants to show authority on me.She wants to dominate me.She doesn't ask me regarding my choice when we both go for shopping.She simply buys whatever she likes.I just leave her and ignore her.
    The way of living she always say ,"Don't spend money on unecessary things and luxorious things.Save the money for our future" .U know what do u mean by our future ,it means i and my DH should save the money for my inlaws luxory.She always wants to know about financial status and interfere in financial matters and personal matters as well .I try to avoid her regarding this but her son her tell her everything.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  3. saddestiny

    saddestiny Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    My MIL secretly admires my dressing and things I do. But in front of me, she always criticizes. I don't get it. I was born and raised in Hyd(city), she came from a suburban small town.
    Not to sound like a bragger, but I came to US earlier on at the age of 21. So naturally since I went to school, I had more exposure regarding fashion and stuff over here. Way before coming here too, back in India, I did all kind of things even as a kid in my parents house. You name it, I did it: like short hair, long hair, bangs, no bangs, traditional, modern, curls, no curls, straight hair etc. I had the kind of freedom in my parents house to dress as I wanted. I never went over board in anything and was always appropriately dressed as per occasion.

    But everything changed after marriage. I have to think twice and maybe even change twice if MIL does'nt approve a certain dress or saree or hairstyle. She rules my wardrobe when she is here !

    Not only that she does'nt like me wearing makeup. Like even mascara, eye shadow, lipstick and basic foundation. Initially I thought she is very narrow minded or traditional type.

    Only now, 3years later, I realized that she was trying to deprive me of my life because her daughter or my elder co-sis are not dressy ladies.
    Infact they changed 360degrees after I had come.

    Skirts, sleeveless, capris, make up, high heels and so many other items were prohibited. She used to make my DH tell me to remove make up, go change another dress etc etc.

    My DH used to fight her back and let her know that he has no objections and he loves the way his wife dresses. Finally things turned around my way and now I have no such issues with her. Although every now and then when she visits she makes a long face if I wore sleeveless blouses or kurthi's or skirts. Even if the skirt is a long long one, her face will be as long as the skirt.

    I wonder why. Guess she is just insecure for her daughter or co-sis.

    My DH hardly ever has issues with my dressing !

    Same goes with living life. She constantly tells Sunita is this, Sunita is that. Whatever this Sunita does is great. (My SIL).

    Joke:
    I made a small herb garden in my kitchen, which I use for fresh herbs if I cook. I tend to pluck coriander, fresh mint, basil etc. for cooking.
    My MIL tells, don't think this is great, this is nothing !
    Pavani has huge mint garden and jasmine flowers. When the so called Pavani(my elder co-sis) arrived for a visit she mentioned that her neighbours have mint and jasmine which she borrowed regularly during her pregnancy. :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl

    MILs always appreciate and tell lies about their daughters or other favorite DILs. Initially I felt bad but one by one when I started finding the truth, I felt so funny. Why does she have to tell lies about others :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl?

    Guess its her way of feeling good about herself !

    Am happy, this post made me vent out a little bit.


    PS: Names changed for privacy.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  4. Stephane

    Stephane Senior IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    Hi,
    My MIL and My SIL had some restrictions of mine initial days of marriage.SIL told me directly.But MIL didn't tell me directly and she told my DH and he told me.
    The reason was if I wear some modern dresses, they will get bad names form their neighbours.:bonk
    I didn't say anything.But slowly my DH got changed and he only suggested me to wear all the dresses and he asked me to change my hairstyles. I did that too.
    My MIL was shocked when I came from parlour and she and my FIl told me that we don't like all this.Then I said taht your son likes all these, so I am doing.So they kept quiet.
    Now they are not bothering about my dresses.:)
     
  5. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    Luckily my MIL does not interfere much in the way of dressing and all since my SIL also dresses casually. But, when it comes to dress sense and selection, it seems only her daughter is best..So if I go shopping with them, whatever my SIL selects is the one I should take. Whatever gifts I select for them are tasteless. Once my MIL purchased bags for my cosis and SIL. My SIL was making faces looking at them when she thought I was not there(she thought I bought them). I told her coolly that it was her dear mummy's selection. She immd started using it..:crazy
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  6. rajalakshmigopal

    rajalakshmigopal Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    May be the MIL thinks that her DIL will impress her son with modern outfits and western clothes,especially night wears.[​IMG]

    This is JMO.
     
  7. depressed

    depressed Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin


    Because MIL thinks that DIL is that one in a million "fortunate", "lucky " lady that SIL or MIL, herself could not become in their entire married life.

    So it is better to SPOIL DIL's Luck and Fortune right here, right now !
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2009
  8. kma

    kma Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    HAPPY

    I think you are bang on:cheers
     
  9. sirila29

    sirila29 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin

    i agree. My mil and sil are always at the back of me. they wasnt to shop and get things for me. whatever they bring in i shld say they are very great and moreover my sil always forces me to wear all he old clother. she got tons of them but due to her obesse she cant wear them anymore. they are all large size and i like buying clothes that fit me well. they kept on taunting me but i paid deaf ear to them and bought what i wanted after i got ajob and they are mad. since they cant get to me directly they are constantly telling my hubby that im wearing all tight clother which show off my body and stuff like that but i made it clear to him that i will wear only those that i feel comfortable. my friends laways comment me on my decency in clothes and i feel they are just trying to do this to make me miserable. in fact my MIl told me to wear her used internals too. i just got fed up with them.
     
  10. sonalie

    sonalie Junior IL'ite

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    Re: Why Does Mom-in-laws put restrictions on Daughter-in-laws way of dressing / Livin


    oh My GOD < some indian ladies are so tribal, ( this old tribal notion of i am the best and dominating others with your opinions your mils n all)
    seeking complete dominance over others or some time imagining dominaance....most tribal community of girls i see in india, control, control,
    grow up girls and start doing and thinking positive...
     

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