Have you ever been bored of being good to others!

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 18, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,

You have given me a good identification of a whole hearted smile and a fake one. Of course the jaws start aching if the smile is a fake one. with this every individual can identify the value of their own smiles. thank you for your comments.

regards,

Vanaja

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 18, 2007

Dear Chitra Madam,

I have read and known from many of your posts that you follow your inner conscious and do things accordingly. I say your are gifted that you are always aware of your inner conscious. One can never go wrong if they are aware of it and follow it.

But one need not wait for the inner conscious to do any kind of good work. It is a general feeling and we do good. So at this circumstance you invite a problem or bad comment. And then comes the inner conscious telling us completely opposite <Why did you do this, is it needed for your goodness?> Is it not Madam?

regards,

Vanaja

Abha · Jun 18, 2007

Heyy

I dont know how i missed this thread... now that i'm here i wud like to say a few things...

well I strongly feel, that I have to be good to others and be good in my general behavior and that is the only way I can keep my conscience clear... but in the process of keepng my consience clear i often get run over by other people... same is with my husband... we sometimes, discuss with each other, that is it written on our foreheads that we are ready to be fooled... .

I think its everyone's responsibility to be GOOD... I mean the other person should also aknowledge the fact that we r being good to them... its nobody's DUTY to give to anyone... basically the give and take (of respect and help) is what makes a relationship survive...

I seriously feel that being good hasnt helped me much.. neither in my career or in maintaining realtionships in work place... and in a few friendships too...

But I still maintain my decorum of behavior and still being good... cos i feel god is watching you and others too... and in the god's court the justice is Delayed but Never Denied...

~Abha

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 19, 2007

Yes Abha you are right.

When we take this site as an example, many of us share our joys and sorrows without knowing much about each other. We belong to different religion, caste, community and race. But what speaks here is not our language, it is the language of the heart which is universal. So being good is generally practiced by everyone of us inspite of its results.

regards,

Vanaja

Induslady · Jun 19, 2007

Hi Vanaja,

That's an interesting thread for discussion. The replies prove it already.

Ok, coming to the subject discussed, I believe in being good. Many times my intentions were challenged inspite of trying to be good. I haven't felt bored being good, but many times I have thought why me being good is not understood .

I too don't believe in being fakingly good. How long can one pretend? Going by the saying in Tamil "Pala naal thirudan oru naal agapaduvan", one day your true colors will show up - that you weren't really good, but pretending to be good.

I liked what Karthika had said..."be good to yourself". I guess when being good to others is not understood, we should just ignore it. If we try to be more and more good, we loose to be good to ourself. That's when probably we will get bored of being good.

Great discussion, keep it going.

Malathy

thejasree · Jun 19, 2007

Hi to all!

Do your duty without expecting the results, as said in The Gita. I myself hav followed this, and feel it keeps your mind free of tension. If you are natural in doing good, it never tires and you never get bored.I fully agree with Sai Lalitha,when she says its best to keep silent when ur goodness is taken for granted.

Thej

radhavenkatesh · Jun 19, 2007

i am fed up being too gud to be honest
i feel cheated by many people whn i want to be good i try to do something gud for them but in return receive unhappiness .
my sincere feeling is to be normal and not either gud or too gud for anyone.

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 19, 2007

hi malathy & theajsree,

thank you for your comments. you both belong to the majority.

Dear Radhavenkatesh,

I feel you are deeply wounded in case of being good. Kindly go through the replies of our members patiently, your will find a good solution.

regards,

Vanaja

Jaykarthi · Jun 20, 2007

varalotti said: ↑

Dear Srinivasan-Vanaja,

I missed you for quite some time in the story forum. But now I see you are back with a bang. And you have raised a question that is very dear to my mind. Here are my two cents.

If you are good to others and are bored by that fact, then you are not good. I am harsh, but it is true. Those who are bored by their goodness are only faking good; they are not really good. An insurance salesman has to be very good to his prospects; and that makes his job the most stressful one. (Beleive me I have been an insurance salesman a few times)

Real goodness is unadulterated enthusiasm. My prescription for a healthy relationship is not being good to others; but being true to oneself. That is the ultimate goodness we can give to others.

Being good is good. But if one cant be good, at least one can be authentically bad and not faking good. To be honest I tried to put in some of these principles in the characterisation of my heroine Shalini in the serial SHE.

Want to know your views.
regards,
Click to expand...

Excellent Reply.
This is exactly what I thought. But You have put in writing precisely .

take care
Jay

nasiha · Jun 20, 2007

Soul Searching

Hi

My husband calls me a goodie 2 shoes. And I'm no expert on giving advise.
I agree with the lady that says we are all not saints.......
When i get my periods i can be rude and obnoxious.

With maturity comes wisdom ........ that wisdom teaches you to be carefull with your friendships and relationships, and this can only be experienced & is not taught.

I noticed that if you do a good deed don't expect anything in return & if you do get lucky :2thumbsup: than good for you ....SO.....Do it for brownie points to God or Because it makes you feel good. Self gratification is the aim here ladies.
Boring is all a state of mind...You could be Vivacious and good too, you know.