How to help kids adjust to daycare?

gayu_r · Sep 13, 2007

Hi

I have a very common problem, which many of you might have faced.. But it seems to be going on and on. My son is 15 months old and I put him in day care for the past two months. Till he was a year old, I had my parents and my in-laws taking great care of him and for the first month I used the backup daycare in my office so that he could slowly get adjusted. He has been going to this permanent one, near our home for the past two months and the problem I have here is that he is still crying the entire morning session. Nothing seems to distract him. They have really good activities, like taking the kids out for a walk or some indoor ones, which he would adore and enjoy if he did them with me or my husband. He adores one of the teachers and expects to get undivided attention from her, which is not possible. The quality of the daycare is good and I see all the other kids enjoying after a while, though they cry initially. I have been thinking that he would get used in another week, but I think it goes on for a long time and he is still crying as if it were his first day. Is there anything I could do to get over this problem ? I feel really upset to call them and hear that he had a really bad morning and cried all through till he went to sleep.

Thanks
Gayu

Vandhana · Sep 13, 2007

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

Hi Gayu,

Yes don't we all moms go through this?? The trick is to be " REALLY COLD HEARTED" . Don't ever show your kid that you are upset because he is crying. Dont ever call or ask the teacher if he was crying. when you talk to him about school, ask him about the activities and what they did. Be firm with him tell him he has to stay there with his teachers and they will care for him , say bye and without looking back leave. Some how, our internal fears come through to our kids and they get anxious. Yes some kids take a while , but you have to be cheerful. I have been through this with both my kids. What helped with me, is i used to send there favorite blanket with them to school. So it was kind of a security for them, and having something familiar from home with them. Have youtried this? So hang in there. He will get used to it..

Vandhana

gayu_r · Sep 13, 2007

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

Thanks for you reply Vandhana. He has his fav blanket in school. He is too young for me to talk to him or make him understand though, he is just 15 months.. I will see if I could make any other of his toys a fav. one and send it to him. Am just hoping that I get over this soon. Really waiting for the day when the teacher jsut picks my call and says that he is doing fine !

Thanks
Gayu

malarvp · Sep 13, 2007

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

Hi Gayu,

as vandhana says you have to be cold hearted. though he doesn't speak yet, you can keep telling him that he has to stay in the day care since mom(you)have to go for work. and also add that you will pick him up in the evening. doctors says kids cry in school because they feel insecured. they have a fear whether mom/dad will return or not. you keep saying to him, and the kids will understand even if they don't talk. and unfortunately some kids take long time to get adjusted. but don't worry he'll be fine soon.

Malar

gayu_r · Sep 13, 2007

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

Thanks Malar. I will keep repeating this to him everytime. I get so upset that for the past one week, I am askin gmy husband to drop him in the daycare. You are right abou tthe insecure feeling. Even when I go to pick him up, he just keeps holding my legs and doesnot even let me pick his bag, with a fear that I may leave again I keep telling him then, that I have come to pick him up.. Am just hoping that he will really understand some day !

Gayu

Anandchitra · Oct 11, 2007

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

Hats off to you ladies. I can never do this cold hearted thing. I stay at home and ofcourse we have less money but we have more happiness and after reading this thread and i now know without any doubt we did the right thing. no offense intended.

Mevitha · Jun 1, 2009

Re: How to help kids adjust to daycare

I too am a new working parent. My LO will be joining daycare in a month. Being kids, they always want to with their parents. The daycare I have selected, allows for a transition period. I can take my LO to the place and be with him for 15-20 mins. I am planning to do this for a week or two till he knows the place. I am keeping my fingers crossed hoping he is happy at his new place.

rashpachu · Jun 18, 2009

Hello Gayu,

I am sailing in the same boat. My son is 18 months now. But hez not getting used to the day care. Hez going there since hez 13 months. I see that your post was in 2006. Could you let me know how your child got used to the day care? What did you or what did he do to get adjusted?

We have all plans to getting him out of that place.

PLease help !!

Thanks,
rash

ananyaswami · Jul 9, 2009

Hi Rash and Gayu,

Please let me know if your kid got adjusted to the daycare? My parents were taking care of her until a week back..Now all off a sudden, we have put her in the daycare. At the daycare, she cries but then after some time stops. but when we bring her back home, she hugs me so tightly and never allows me to drop her down also. Yday from evening 5 she has been crying non stop for 4 and half hours until she went to sleep. again in the mrng she started crying. please suggest me a way to calm her down.

Lakshmi