Career or BabyCare?

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by chittidallas, Jul 8, 2009.

  1. chittidallas

    chittidallas New IL'ite

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    Hello Friends,
    Its been a long time, i haven't posted here.
    after my baby was born, its been months enjoying with her. now she is 8months 3 weeks old. Its been 1 year that i stopped working. Now i wanted to do restart my career again and i got an opportunity.It's in the process.
    It's really very very difficult to leave kid in daycare and work. I am feeling bad and do not like it to do at the same time, i cannot give complete break to my career.
    now i am thinking to keep her in daycare. I went to Kindercare, they are having all restrictions regarding food... then i thought let her keep in Indian home day cares (i have 2 to 3 near to my home)...
    How to choose where/with whom to keep her... i am not sure whether my daughter can able to adjust there, how they take care of her, and how do i manage working and taking care her after coming from office...

    i am really in confusion, am i going to spoil her by keeping in daycare (or)... i am not able to decide....

    Please, do help me with your suggestions...

    I am really waiting for all of your suggestions....

    Thanks...:help
     
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  2. RadhaG

    RadhaG Senior IL'ite

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    As someone who had left her child in a day care and has learnt a bit about Montessori Philosophy on Education, I feel it is best for MOM to be with the kids for atleast the initial years.

    And you know what, for someone who has the zeal to work, career can happen even after the child grows up too.

    When you LIKE being with your child, I feel you should enjoy being a full time mom. When there are financial constraints you would be compelled to work due to circumstances, but if you have the choice to stay home, why not be a happy mom?

    Please try and read Maria Montessori's book, it will really change the way you think about infant development.

    And whatever be the decision, be conscious about what you chose and the reasons for choosing it, so that you can be answerable to your conscience, irrespective of whether you work or not!

    Good luck, Jai ho! :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  3. easy

    easy Gold IL'ite

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    hi radha,
    Nice to read your thoughts on Montessori system..will you pl give me some links where i can read more about the topic.. and also any book titles..

    thanks
    prabha
     
  4. RadhaG

    RadhaG Senior IL'ite

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  5. chittidallas

    chittidallas New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your suggestion. i will definately try to workarroung to take break....
     
  6. hemanarayanan

    hemanarayanan New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I am also like you with 8 months old baby boy. He is my second one. With my first one I went back to work thinking about career. But now with my second one I want to stay home. I am in a process to quit my job. If you need to go back to work due to financial problems then you can otherwise please stay home and enjoy your kid. I do not know which part of the world are you living. If you are living outside India better stay home with your kid. Because your kid has only you. They miss all the relativesthat we had when we were a kid.
    At the same time try learning something related to your career which you think will enhance your resume.
    Good Luck.
    hema
     
  7. shyl

    shyl Senior IL'ite

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    Did you think of introducing your kid to the day care couple days or couple hours initially? I have seen that many kids also like to go to day care bcoz they can play with other kids and meanwhile you can start and part time job and then depending on your kids progress, convert to a full time job.

    Although, I do agree with others that if we have the possibility to not work and can spend time with our kids that is the best option. However, I am working full time now and do plan to work after I have my baby.

    Take Care
    Shyl
     
  8. RadhaG

    RadhaG Senior IL'ite

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    Our thoughts match, Hema :)
     
  9. Vasuma09

    Vasuma09 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,

    It really depends on various factors like your financial constraints, Dh co-operation and so on..But 9 months is too early for daycare.You should spend minmum 2 years with your kid .It's my personal opinion.You have mentioned in your post that you dont like to put your baby in daycare , then you should enjoy being a full time mom.:)
     
  10. orion80

    orion80 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I too faced the same situation 2 1/2 years back. Took a break and then restarted my career. But before joining the new company, we searched for a good daycare. Checked out more than 20 daycares, weighed pros and cons. Then finalised on one. For the first few days, i used to sit outside the daycare. My daughter used to come once in a while to the door to check whether i am still around :)

    In 3-4 days, she is so busy playing that she only used to look for me when she is hungry. Then the daycare lady started making her eat at the table with other kids. It took her about a week to adjust to daycare without me. It is a slow process but thankfully it is quite smooth. She enjoyed going to daycare and playing with her friends. My husband was very helpful during all this time.

    Even after all this, the first day i went to work, i couldnt stop my tears. I was always thinking about how my little angel is doing. Called the daycare every hour to check how she is doing. Not once did she cry for mom before 4:00pm. By 4:00pm when my husband went to pick her up, she asked for me. It took me longer time to adjust to this separation than my daughter.

    I dont agree with the argument that the child needs his/her mom round the clock after crossing 1.5 years of age. Yes, they do need mom most of the time. But they also need to play with other kids, interact and mingle in a new environment. This practice will also make it easier for the kids, when they start going to school as they will be used to staying away from the mother during the school time.

    So plan well. You will not have any problem leaving the kid at a good daycare you trust. Have a great career :thumbsup

    -Lakshmi
     

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