Which are the qualities that your IL hate in you.

Malyatha - just read thru this feedback from you. missed my attention earlier.

Point 1 - you are right. but that was a decision that their son made even before our marriage. In fact my DH was and still is having a better control of my bank accounts. He makes his own decision on moving my money to some investment, and sometimes even forgets to inform me. Even in those initial days, there are months when my hubby could afford to cut the cheque from his account only after transferring money from mine. What i am arriving at is, since mine was a love cum arranged one with a long post-engagement period, we really had nothing like my money and your money after marriage. What was bothering me then was, why ever are they concerned about whose cheque that was? Are they not supposed to be seeing me and my hubby as 'one' by then? i am sure if my husband had given in to their point then, they would have comfortably used the opportunity to create a rift in our relationship. What was bothering my FIL more was this (like i stated in one of my earlier posts as well)... i was having a joint account (different from my salary account) with my brother in a foreign bank that had ATMs everywhere just for convenience. My brother was working in that bank and had a provision of opting for a zero minimum balance account. And he never accessed that account even prior to my marriage, leave alone after. Somehow my FIL smelt it (well, a naive me then must have told him that) and along with this complaint of sharing household expenses he kept asking why i should have the account even after marriage. Again, its my hubby who should have a problem. My hubby had a better access to this account than my brother, and again we both were clear why we needed to retain this account. My FIL must have had other suspicions which is nothing for him to be bothered about. Hope i have made it clear, malyatha !

Point 2 - I just hope you are kidding . it was around a month after my marriage. Some guests comes home, and just once they ask me to sing and then the whole group started talking to each other. i didn't know i had to start singing even while they were busy talking

 

Hi All,

Can't get this grin off my face after reading the whole post - as you can see from the smilies in the beginning. Please don't get me wrong - I am not laughing at all of you - rather at this common syndrome that seems to prevail in every household.

Having a list as long myself, I can understand what these DILs feel. It used to make my blood boil too. But somewhere along the line - I don't know how or when - I started feeling amused at such silly attitudes of that generation - you know the type of laughter in which your stomach shakes like mad? That is what I get now when I think of my list of 'faults'. And you know what? It feels good to laugh at these traditional 'wars' - believe me I like a lot of our traditions but these are ones I have no intention of upholding - ever!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Hi,
my mil hates everything, but accepted by her own words are,
1. I am not good looking (she wanted a extremely fair, tall slim dil, then I dont know why she accepted me)
2. I am not accepting the fact that I am inferior and not at all suitable pair for my husband
3. I am always thinking of my mom, sisters and brothers( that is not true),
4. I am not talking to them much(I used to be a very reserved girl even before marriage)
the list goes on

 

hi
1. my MIL hates me from the beginning of my marriage although i am my FIL's sisters daughter. hope she did not want me to be her DIL but my FIL and MY DH was very much interested.
2. whatever i cook she make words and keep names for it. praises all others in my house saying their house is good washing machine FP MW all other gadgets are good in their house.
3. stares at me and my children without blinking her eyes my maid says you will get affected by kannu drishti.
4. although she hates me at the utmost she does not go to other son's house always stays with us and backbites on us with others.
5.breaks my dinner sets spoils my mixie. grinder and all stuff which i purchase.
the list will go on and on from 19 years of my marriage . my plight is i cannot express it with my mother also as my MIL is her SIL:bonk.

 

hi Mlk, i agree that my life is similar to some of the ladies here who have replied to this great thread!!! basically my il;s hate me(total package)....


1.they also complain about each and every member of my family and extended family, we are all "bad", and "stupid"
2.they hate that i don;t cook like them, or act like them ( i feel like they want me to erase my past and any relations i have with family and only be with them)
3.they hate that i am outspoken....they think that they should be able to say/do anything to me, or any memebr of my family, and i should just accept it!!!
4.they hate that i have a great relationship with both of my brother's wives (actualy my mil is extrememly jealous of this!!)

my dh is Always on their side, so actually he also dislikes all of these qualties in me too.
too bad it;s like this!
sash...

 

Good thread. Following is the list my ILs hate in my and i cannot and will not change:
1. I dont wear mangalsutra in US as noone wears them to work
2. I get up really late on the weekends
3. I dont make breakfast for my DH even on the weekends
4. I do too much shopping
5. I dont cook much and sometimes make my DH cook, etc etc
There are many many like this and this list will never stop
-priya

 

Sorry to post a guy's POV in this thread (ok I smack myself :bonk)

I completely agree that some of the MIL/FIL are ridiculous. However, is there a thread anywhere on things that a DIL does which are ridiculous at times too?

There are two sides to a coin and anything works only if both sides do their part.

As I said, I dont mean to hijack this thread, I did enjoy reading this, just want to know is there another thread for the flip side?


Regarding my situation:
My wife gets along well with my Mom, she gets along "ok-ish" with my Dad. But then again my Mom and Dad are quite cool so they are not old fashioned. The reason why she gets along 'only ok' with my Dad is because my Dad is very strong in his opinions and can sometimes be harsh in saying something judgemental. He is the same with me, my mom, his sister, my wife, everyone else too.

So, I argue with my Dad when he does that to me (even when I was a teenager, but I am no saint either, I am at fault sometimes, my Dad is at fault sometimes), but my wife prefers to keep it at a distance. Other than that, I get along well with my Dad - he truly is an adoring Dad in all other respects, and my wife knows the pros and cons of my Dad too.

 

I am sure my ILs have some issues with me, but they have never complained to me about it. ILs and I share a very open and frank relation where we dont back bite. Over the last 9 yrs, we have developed a unique trust and bond and have crossed the stage of 'complaining'. ILs and I know about our shortfalls and are open to suggestions and improvements.

 

They hate complete package of me!!!!They feels am lucky to get their son and they told this to me several times......
I think , the most things that they hate me is...
1.My arguments with my husband.
2.am not making good food(inspite of cooking everyday).
3.No respect towards husband and elders.
and many more.....

 

:biglaughI couldn't stop laughing myself reading all the posts.Oh dear! you all made my day.

She hates me on the whole.
According to me she is my MONSTER-in-law :shaking:
and according to her I am her DEVIL_in-Law:boo:

-Monica Harhar