I know this is silly, but how to get over it.

{HUGS} to you Richa. This is not silly, dear. Of course you will feel hurt. You love your husband and you are very emotionally attached to him. No one likes to imagine or hear someone else loving their husband or having a crush on him and vice versa. Having said that, it's good that your DH has shared everything with you like an open book. But if hearing about such things is going to make you feel hurt (even it it was the past), you should mention to him that you really don't feel comfortable when he talks about his crushes and that girl in particular.

In all possibility, maybe his friends are just pulling his leg and teasing him with this girl since that is probably the only topic they have in common - as you said just a cunning friend's provocation. The next time around your DH should not encourage such topics and tell this friend that there is no point dragging that girl into conversations since he doesn't appreciate it.

You know, the hardest thing to control is the 12 inch mass that sits between our shoulders - our minds. You have to snap out of these thoughts and appreciate what you have with your DH. It is natural for you to feel depressed but is important that you bounce out of these thoughts soon. Go for a relaxing outing with DH this weekend and try not to encourage him in reminiscing about his school crushes. There is nothing wrong in letting him know that you feel bad to hear about these things and even though you are a "sport", you are also a human being with emotions who loves your spouse. Take care!

 

You know what Richa - that girl was never supposed to be in your shoes in the first place. That is why YOU are his wife and not her. God has a plan for everyone. What they had then was just a plain crush - they were in school and definitely immature. How grown-up were you in your school days? I certainly was not mature enough to know who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe your husband might not like the same girl if he knows her now. Things change, and people change with time. Soft corners and stupid crushes of yore don't mean anything, dear.

We're all old-fashioned to an extent when it comes to our spouses , but above are just my thoughts on how you can get over this issue. Take Care.

 

Hey Baby Girl !

Dont say things like you took over her place.. No. How can you be so sure they would have eventually got married ! Richa, it takes a big deal to get going with a relationship from school ! It a'int easy and not anything like the first look. Looking, shying, liking, talking, expressing, dating, understanding, romancing, thinking on the same lines, proposing marriage, accepting hard truths and bitterness if any from elders and triumping is really not a joke.. It is about growing old with each other.

Just that infatuation or puppy love in school neednt bloom to love.. There is somthing called destiny, Richa Baby ! If that doesnt happen then it means, it was not to happen ! Were they both destined to be with each other NO MATTER WHAT, they would have met later ( yes, before you ) and would have atleast expressed their love if at all. If that has never happened.. then it wouldntv happened. You were his destiny and so is he for you. If you have met and living together then, every odds and love is just about you both. Never, think she had a chance !

You know Richa, I back this with what happened in my life..
I am someone who got attracted to a boy at the age of 13. We were so attracted and never missed each other's eyes. We never spoke for like from class 8 to 10. But we were madly attracted and liked each other. I simply call this infatuation.. Nothing else. Me or that boy didnt have brains to know what is love then .. I wanted to move away from that same management's college .. but me and my best friend landed up in that college because we got the seat there on merit list. So, the time I had been for admission, that boy had come with his father and our eyes again fondly met. Deep our hearts we couldnt forget each other but never revealed either. We just exchanged smiles. We were intially in two different classes but the same course. So, each time he passed my classroom he never missed the chance to deeply look into my eyes. One day, our principal came to our class and asked all the sanskrit ( I was one ) students to join the other class from the enxt day .. Boy, was I thrilled.. Yes. We never missed even seconds to look at each other fondly. We still didnt speak. Finally it was time to say goodbye in second year Pre-univ. He finally was pushed by his friends to better make his feelings clear to me.. He wanted too, but was damn scared. He finally came up and said those mesmerising words. We just spoke till our Proffessional entrance exams and lost touch all over again.
I joined Dental and he Engg. I had never forgotten him, Richa ! Still havent..

I was on the balcony one day and pleased was I when I saw this boy passing by my house in the bus.. He had that fond grin .. and was soo thrilled to see me.. I stood in the balcony again sametime next day.. and there he was again ! With a pester from my friend we took the same bus one day and we got back in touch..

I write this as that boy sits right next to me and asking me ' what is for dinner ? '

Yes, I married him after a decade of dating and understanding if there was no Destiny then, me and my childhood sweetheart wouldnt have met later, and loved all over again. If it has to happen, it would no matter what.

If, two people like you and your husband born somewhere and met elsewhere are now living together ! Then, it is DESTINY !

So, abide to it and never think of anything else.

But make sure you tell your hubby that you are pocessive of him and feel so hurt when anyone talks about his crush. A sense of mine only type of feeling.. He will surely understand that, Richa.

Ask him to snub that friend who talks about things that makes no sense now.. Atleast for your sake. I have a gut feeling , he may do it ! :thumbsup

Dont pretend you are ok.. When your hubby can think you are sportive, he can be one too. Also when he is being frank to you, so should you !

Take care !!

 

Richa,

I agree with Preethi 1,000,000%! What she has said in her post is spot on. Plain and simple, YOU are the one meant for your hubby, nobody else! Everyone has a small crush in life, possibly on a cute classmate or nice coworker. But Richa, you are the "big crush"! Meaning, you are the crush to end all crushes. Whatever fleeting friendship they had before can't be compared to the type of bond you have now.

Ok, time to cheer up and do the wife victory dance... arty

 

Richa,

Was the girl who mentioned the crush at dinner the same one who sent the big email about the crush at the reunion? She sounds a real piece of work and her intention seems to be to discomfit your husband and to create problems in your marriage. Why else would she go on raking up these old stories, even after your husband has already made it clear that he has long since moved on?

Anyway, since the woman's actions bother you so much (and justifiably so), you should stop pretending that it does not affect you and instead, frankly tell your husband that his 'friend's' mischief upsets you and that he should talk to this friend frankly about her repeated raking up of old tales.

Moreover, your husband should send this mischief-maker an email, telling her that he is no longer interested in hearing about this crush, and that as he is happily married now, that he would appreciate it if she would respect his status as a husband, and to quit talking about this girl and whatever happened between them many years ago. IF she insists on continually bringing up this topic, then he should simply cut off communication with her -- and let her know why. Even otherwise, I would restrict contact with this woman. She is a trouble maker, plain and simple, and her motives are suspect.