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How often does your husband call his parents in India(if you live abroad)

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sandhya303, Apr 24, 2009.

  1. mssweety

    mssweety New IL'ite

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    My husband call his parent 2-3 times a week atleast. I also call them once a week when my husband is not around.

    If they are not feeling well then we call everyday or every other day. No set of rules. I call my parents when ever I want because they live here :)

    Regards,

    Sweety
     
  2. sandu

    sandu Bronze IL'ite

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    Speaking to parents and in-laws is a sensitive issue in my house. My husband wasnt bothered about all this, until my mil started complaining that i dont love her much and that my parents & I are scheming against them by chatting. Rant

    Before marriage: my husband used to chat with them in the weekend. After marriage, it has grown to almost everyday. He calls them daily from office. While I used to chat with them daily from home. But we had lot of issues after that and so, i speak only in the weekend nowadays. But DH stills calls them almost daily from office.

    My in-laws insist that we call my sil often. We used to call her almost daily (except weekends) till some time back. Nowdays, just about once a week my husband speaks to her. (Sometimes, he forgets to call her in his busy schedule, like it happened yday. So my MIL puts up a sad story that she has lots of problems, her kids are sick with 105 deg fever and she is going into a depression & that we must save her by speaking to her often. So, my husband hurried to call her, only to be told that both kids are merrily having a bath! LOL! Still, DH doesnt understand the games his dear amma plays into goading him to have-more-contact-with-them. How petty!)

    I never prohibit DH from calling his parents. Though I tell him not to "use office resources to chit-chat" when he tells me the complaints that his mom or someone else made about me.

    In my case: I used to chat with my parents daily (mostly type, sometimes voice) using yahoo. Now, it has decreased to about 3 times a week. My husband has earlier asked me to stop speaking to my parents when he isnt around, bcos he too thinks that my parents are spoiling me. I have calmly stood my stand and told him that he can very well stay behind and listen to our conversations or even tape them and listen to them later! To me, weekends are private time and I dont want to spend that time chatting with my parents to his parents on Sat and Sun... He has begun to understand this slowly.

    My sil has never called me and my in-laws dont call me either. They dont consider my existence at all and never enquire about me. My husband also doesnt speak to my parents or siblings; i give him the phone only when they call to wish him personally. It is sad, but i have learnt to accept it this way.

    We use only yahoo or Voip software and avoid calling their phone.

    In my opinion, people must understand that just by calling in-laws daily, it doesnt mean we love them. In other words, they shd stop comparing themselves with our parents and stop judging our intentions based on whether we are comfortable speaking to them. After all, no one can become our mother! We share a deeper bond with the ones who gave birth to us and raised us and grew up along with us, isnt it? It is not fair trying to seize that (our mother's) place. Hope you understand what I mean.

    Why do you ask this question? Beware, this could be a sensitive issue if you have problems speaking to your parents. Feel free to write more so that we can help you. My husband (intial years of marriage) used to encourage me to speak to my parents often and he himself used to speak sometimes. But then my in-laws played spoilsport. In my case, it is really stunning to notice how much an understanding and accomodating husband can turn around just on the cribbing of his parents about this calling issue. He turned around to such an extent that he ordered me to cut myself away from my parents. So, all I can say is, take care.

    Sandhya
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2009
  3. mythreyiraju

    mythreyiraju Senior IL'ite

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    My Dh calls their parents on every friday bcoz he has holiday on that day. I will call to parents whenever i want to talk. If there is any problems like health issuses etc and if there is any special occassions we will call twice or thrice in a day.

    Love
    My3:thumbsup
    Believe the best of everybody
     
  4. heartbeat

    heartbeat New IL'ite

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    Every day. If he can't on any day , then he'll receive a call or chat message from him mom.
    this is what she says - " I can't sleep coz you din't call me today."
    Before marriage he used to call twice a week. There was no sleeping issue at that time.
    I'm guessing I'm the reason for her sleeplessness.
     
  5. amul

    amul Silver IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    I think whenever we dont have any issues with inlaws it dosent matter how many times he calls to them.
    But if we r having some issues or misunderstandings that bothers alot.

    Me and my DH never bother each other how many times we call to our parents.But I definetly talk to my inlaws on sat and sun.

    regards
    amul
     
  6. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    hi,
    my dh calls his parents every fortnight & that too after lots of nagging & reminders.many a time he will call my parents also after finishing call with his parents.
    i call my parents every day & in laws twice a week usually on wed & sat as mil is at home these two days & not away at some satsang.
    pragati
     
  7. sudarshana38

    sudarshana38 New IL'ite

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    once a week is enough as far as we are concerned for both my parents and my husband's
     
  8. sandu

    sandu Bronze IL'ite

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    Well-said! It's amazing how much concern our mil's develop for our husbands after marriage, when it should be just the opposite, isn't it?:cheers
    - Sandhya
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2009
  9. veen

    veen Senior IL'ite

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    Hi

    My husband calls every weekend. I call my mom whenever I feel like talking to her.

    veen
     
  10. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    My husband calls his parents on sat or sunday. Whenever he calls them they ask so much question and my pressure level used to go high. These days I don't bother much and I usually take bath or do something else when he calls his parents. I call my parents whenever I feel like talking to them.
     

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