Globalization and Family Life

hi interesting thread

Actually I feel that globalisation has led to great differences in married lives. My husband had to travel abroad quite few times without me in our 6 years married life and those periods were really tough on me. But when I travel with him (first time to US and second time to Japan) I found it really interesting. Away from inlaws for sometime, enjoying foreign country and life style. Our stint in foreign countries are always short max 1 to 2 years. I always know that i have to go back to India and in between my inlaws also come to live with us. With all this still me and my hubby have spent quality time with one another. Losing ones carreer is an important issue. But now with two kids anyways i am not planning to go for work even in India. So carreer has not had any impact in my case. I feel that many of our members would agree to the fact that being away from inlaws itself is a grt advantage in shifting to foreign countries. Jai ho to globalisation.

 

Nice post Shardha... makes everyone think.

Couples staying apart for years, kids growing up with their father away, moms raising kids and managing everything alone, in case of dependant wives the feeling of loss of being confined to the four walls of their house... all these put the marriage under a lot of stress.

But in one way, arent we opting for this?
Taking the case of an H1-H4 couple, they are fully aware that either the dependant spouse need to get a H1 visa(which is a lottery) or wait for their GC to work in US.They also know that the culture in US is very different and a lot of adjustments will be required.... ofcourse the hassles and stress of the loooooong wait for GC and citizenship.

Majority of the qualified dependant wives and their husbands, both can find jobs in India... ofcourse the pay will not be as great as what we make in US, but think about it, an average state government employee in India earns much much lesser than his IT peer or someone in US. But they still manage to have a decent living, educate kids etc.

On the upside of choosing to be abroad - you usually have a better income and savings, better lifestyle and on the downside we have problems that we just mentioned.

So, Shardha in my opinion - globalization as such is not the problem here. Globalization is presenting us with a lot more options and choices which is a good thing. Ultimately we are the ones who are making the choice - no one is being forced .

 

Sharda, from my understanding of what reshbabu meat to say is, when girls opt for an NRI spouse, she should be aware that if she has a good career here, she may have to be a house wife in another country till she gets a work permit.

But yes if they are shifting abroad after some time of marriage then it has to be a mutual decision and then i agree that the wife follows her hubby round the globe.

I have also seen people going abroad on short terms for 3-6 months so the wife's career and kids schooling is not affected. and if they are abroad during vacation time then they take the family along for a few weeks and they come back so its sort of a holiday too.

Again all this depends on each individual and their approach to their lives and their loved ones.

 

Sharda,
I totally agree with you that as a married woman, we are expected to stay together and make comprmises in our career and follow our husbands around.

But to the question about how our careers and relationships are affected because of global trotting, my point is 'do we(we = the couple) always have to opt to global trott??' . As Roopadadia said, in some cases short term travel of 3-6 months is unavoidable and this wouldnt affect the wife's career and kid's education much. In cases when the 'global trotting' extends much beyond that , I believe, a qualified couple have the option to choose 'not global trott' and instead take up a jobs in their homeland and live a settled life.

What you have raised here is a very genuine concern. In the process of global trotting, it is quite hard to start settling down in one place.

I myself am an H4 homemaker, but was working in an MNC for several years before I quit my job. But to be honest, if me and DH dont want to continue travelling abroad, we have ample job oppurtunities to settle down in India. May be after kids, we would plan to take up jobs in India and settle down close to our family and friends.

I am not arguing here, and consider this is a healthy discussion. My point here is - Qualified couple have the option to avoid global trotting and choose to settle in India with jobs that require minimal or no travel. In this case, they can avoid the problems of shuttling around, education and raising kids when they keep travelling,strain in relationship etc.Yes, they will have to make comprmises, but there are always advantages and disadvantages to everything - right?

I feel this is true in many(not all) of the cases. But I could be wrong - may be what I am saying is true only in the case of folks who work in certain industries. Some example where this cannot be avoided is in the case of husbands working as Marine Engineers, Military.
Also, many husbands settled in Gulf countries cannot afford to take their families with them. In such cases,the couple stay apart a lot and mostly the responsibility of raising kids is on the mother - they really dont have an option.

What do you guys feel - is it unavoidable for most of the people?
Are couples forced to do this and have no option but to continue global trotting??