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Parent child relationship

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by oldgold27, Mar 24, 2009.

  1. oldgold27

    oldgold27 New IL'ite

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    Hi Monita and all,

    Just a few days ago, I read a very interesting article wherein results of a study of the American society had been undertaken.

    The purpose of the study was to see how people lived in old age, whether with adult child or elsewhere.

    They found that in the early 1900s 70 % of old widows( for they were the most vulnerable section of the elder population) lived with there adult child. This percentage fell to 20% in 1990.

    On further studying the reasons for this fall in % they found that United States had introduced the Social Security act in 1940 and most elders started receiving their social security cheques. Initially these cheques were as low as $22.75 per month. But the impact was such that those receiving these cheques preferred to stay independently rather than with their children.

    This social phenomenon continued till the above mentioned % fell to 20% in 1990. Obviously the reason was economic. Given the economic independence , the old parents also prefer to stay independently. So children should not feel guilty about not being able to look after their parents by being physically co residents with them. Economically independent parents would like to live their lives their own way.

    Recession does strange things to society. Again in US it is being observed that adult children are moving back with their parents to save on costs of living. Grandmothers are busy with their grandchildren and loving it.

    So ultimately its all about economics.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  2. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    I wish it was that simple. sadly in our country,it isn't. I know many people who are financialy extremely well off. yet, they want to be dependent on their sons.
     
  3. oldgold27

    oldgold27 New IL'ite

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    Dear Monita,

    You are right. Sadly , in our country it is not so easy to live alone in old age even if one wants to.

    There is no security from criminals, health facilities are not catering to the elderly with difficulties.

    If they are alone it is very difficult for them to get to a hospital in case of an emergency. These days even primary care physicians do not make house calls.

    Many can afford to have a driver and a vehicle to transport them and they do try to keep such facilities handy.

    Like this there are many problems of old age. And it is not the children's fault. Age has to catch up with everyone. Being close to one's children gives a great amount of emotional security.

    It is the lucky ones who have understanding chidren.

    Sometimes if you see the responses of the elderly within this context one can begin to understand them.

    In every age bracket there are different sets of problems. So please don't mind the long post.
     
  4. monita

    monita Platinum IL'ite

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    I know it isn't.the community and extended family also don't help and even if they do, they complain that they shouldn't be having to. If somebody has a son, why should anybody else have to do anything for them

    In the end, It's all about luck. If you are lucky, you have good children. If you are lucky, you have good ILs. If you aren't, you are doomed. You have no right to happiness.sorry about the rant.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009

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