Changes within me

rakshantha · Feb 25, 2009

hi all

I have a question to ask u guys. I was married when i was 22 and it is a luv marriage now we r in our 6th year. We had and still have a lot of fights and arguments. Previously during our fights after a point i used to give up and ask sorry even if i had not done the mistake. I stopped arguing after a point. But now a days i am not able to control myself and i shout back and now a days my ego is not allowing me to ask sorry even if it is my mistake. Have any of u undergone such a change. Is is bcoz i have grown up and matured or should i change my behaviour. V both luv each other a lot and hav two lovely kids. I just want to know others viewpoint on my change and to know whether it is normal.

onemoreid · Feb 25, 2009

Hi

Think of all good things of him when your ego comes in picture.

Just Try.

Love

asha_karthik · Feb 25, 2009

hi rakshantha,
i think the expectations you have, has evened out with maturity and experience of handling each other. as long as the issues aren't big, we dont hv to ask sorry to each other every time, if you can just continue talking/behaving the same way. just one word of caution - dont take close relationships too much for granted. you are anyway doing that.. by introspecting whether u r doing the right thing or not.. this is it self a good sign.. nothing can go majorly wrong. when both of u are in good mood, ask him to say sorry when he is at wrong at least once in a while, if not all the time (it looks like he isn't doing that and you are likely to get fed up making the first move all the time).

take care and hv fun.

rakshantha · Feb 25, 2009

Thanks a lot onemoreid and asha_karthik for ur quick reply and valuable suggestions. Will try them out.

infinitehopes · Feb 25, 2009

Dear Rakshantha,

Even understanding the fact that - women mature much faster as compared to men - will help. So it is possible that you are expecting different things from him while he is still in your golden pre-marriage & initial marriage years era! So may be that's whats bothering you.

The only solution to above problem is to BELIEVE that men do grow up - eventually!

Or

You are married to a DH you are in love with, you have two lovely kids and you are well settled in your family life - so what could be the problem? Think again... Do you feel nothing is moving? Its all very routine life? you are just 28 yrs old... May be you can think about joining a course, refresh your skills and utilize your time..

Boredom may also cause these kind of issues. We tend to pay more attention to everything - forgetting to think about if they are even important.. So get busy and be happy

Otherwise, just ignore and remember the dialog - "Pyar mein no sorry no thanks" - it helps because our expectations suddenly vanish !

Enjoy your married life.

roopadadia · Mar 6, 2009

Rakshanta,

How frequent are your fights?? what are the reasons for these.

Remember one thing that now you have 2 growing kids in the house and you both can't behave in an immature fashion...your kids may not have that respect for the 2 of you.

also, by now you should be on the same page...6 yrs is not a short time.