Is old age a curse?

dear Mythila,
thank you for your reply.ofcourse i agree the old people are in their childhood.but according to me, when i come across so many old people in our relation and outside, i feel those who controlled their emotions unnecessarly, like anger,asking for something so on so forth, enjoying something show this type of childhood feelings when the grow old. i may be wrong but i just want to let out my feeling.some old people feel that they should know even a small thing that is going around them.this what i feel.
with love
pad

 

Dear Mithila,

Wonderful blog on a topic that is very appropriate to this day and age. I have seen many cases like the ones you have described, my dear sweet mother was a case in point.

There were no MIL-DIL problems at all, all of us loved to have her with us. Amma also liked to spend time with all of us, (we are three siblings) but she just felt she was a burden to everyone. Quite the contrary. She had a very sharp memory and was a fund of knowledge. No trouble to anyone, quite healthy, except she missed by wonderful father so much after his demise.

My MIL was a very wise and understanding person, she also lived to be over 84, she loved to read and regaled us with a lot of spiritual topics. Both my Mother and MIL were and are a wonderful influence on us all - one has to keep one's mind occupied as best as possible, enjoy each day as it comes, i feel that we cannot will the final moments to come according to our wishes, this will happen as and when it is ordained.

I agree that there are cases where the family members may not be very sympathetic towards old people, making the elderly feel unwanted and depressed. Mithila, I also agree to the view that good old-age homes are probably the best solution. Again, here the mindset of the old people plays a big role, they should be receptive to the idea of living in such a place and not feel as if they have been abandoned.

Oh dear, am I boring you with all this, dear Mithila? Anyway, I have to reflect a bit before resuming this fb, please bear with me, dear.

Let me say again that you have such a gift for writing such superb posts and choosing topics that are very apt to present-day situations!

LnBBHs,
Padma

 

Dear Mithila Maami,

A though provoking write up.
Let me share with you my personal experiences...especially the thoughts of the older people who refuse to stay with their daughters.

My paati is 88 yrs... healthy and managing her daily routine.. and is with her son (my mama.. who is 65+). Now the issue is, my maami is quite good.. but she herself is 60+ and wants to keep visiting her kids who are abroad. The couple feel that, even at this age, they are not able to go around to temples, visit their kids etc, together. So, my mama never travels and is with paati always. My paati doesnt believe in staying with her daughters. Soemtimes, these things become very touchy when you talk with them.

My MIL wanted sooo much to keep her father with her. We were all in favor of that, however, thatha said that it would bring shame to the sons, if he lived in the daughters house. Eventually he was sent to a old age home (a few years back... when the facilities were not so good at all) and he spent his last few years there.. inspite of having kids who stayed in the same city. My MIL still feels guilty abt that and she feels that he might have lived longer if he had the comforts of a home.

I guess, as we grow old, we need to atune ourselves to certain aspects of life. Live for ourselves, take pleasure in small things of life. I completely agree with you that we need to build specific societies aimed at elderly.. where they get to meet people of their age and lead a comforable life.

Anu

 

Don't worry Mithilamma,
I would read the blogs for you and write also. Though i know i can't spend as much time as you need.
Vaidehi

Dear kamalji,you have said that the elderly can blog.For yu and I who are fond of blogging it is ok,but remember that there are millions of old aged peopl who are not bloggers and have no taste for that and most of them can't read and write.Besides everybody does not fancy writing.There is a friend of mine who often complains of boredom,her only daughter lives abroad her DH is a practising doctor.I suggested to her that she should take to blogging and explained to her the rewards that lie in store for her.Her dh got her a computer but after six months of having purchased the blessed computer they have not given connection to it.She simply is not interested.

After some years even I may not feel up to blogging like this because I know that the energy level may dip and all I want would be to simply take rest sit in the balcony and watch the world run past me fast.My dh who is

 

You write so nice one feels like we are there seeing everything you are narrating.
But don't you think the people in villages are happier in this regard? As i've seen my grandpa and grandma they are happy there. They don't want to come and stay with us for long time as they get bored in cities same as you mentioned. At our village, they have their childhood friends. So they can have nice peaceful time in our farms, on the Katta chitchatting with friends, listening to radio. We visit them often and as its a huge family, even if everyone of us visits them once in a month or 2 they have a visitor every 3-4 days.
But for the people in cities the options you've suggested are real good.