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Life After Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by CuteSmile, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. bubby

    bubby New IL'ite

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    Hi Cute smile,

    A very good post... I hope this is what Vidyaa has written on her other Posts 'Got a Clear Picture' ...I read both continously and feel to be the same point...

    good Luck...

    Bubby...
     
  2. rs18

    rs18 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    A very neat Narration........Loved it..

    Best wishes for you ......
     
  3. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Hey Cutie !!

    WONDERFUL !! This is the mantra of life.. A little patience , talk when you should and listen ONLY the rest of the time, if you arent heard when you want to learn to say it when the time comes instead of stressin out, voice your opinion and your desires when it is a must but not at the same time he talks.. Learn your husband, watch him, listen and talk !!

    You have got them perfect !!

    Your thread is a must-read for every lady here !! Congrats on being an example that patience does pay off !!

    Best Luck in everything you do, Girl !!
     
  4. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear CuteSmile,

    You learnt a lot about marriage in a very short span of time, kudos for that! I am glad that you are happy with your lot for now and also are aware that there are some still existing problems, but will make the best out of the given life.....That speaks volumes about how wise you are. And you are right, don't expect to change your partner. What you have is what you get! A very useful post for all the young married women of this forum who may be feeling a little lost in their present situation.
    A worthy nomination for the FP forum, congratulations!

    L, Kamla
     
  5. Swathimano

    Swathimano New IL'ite

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    hi,this is swathi

    After reading this ,i can say one thing .instead of blaming god for the problems we are facing just think about it what to do to reset the situation.

    It is in our hands whether to destroy or enjoy.

    I hope u will become an inspiration for the one who tries to ruin their life with out any knowledge of making the things setright.

    there will be no case of seperation if every wife is as smart as u
     
  6. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Cute

    Wonderful post. In marriage patience and adjustment is required.
    As others have said u have learnt so much in a short span of time.

    love

    viji
     
  7. dhivya rangarajan

    dhivya rangarajan Bronze IL'ite

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    Cutesmile,

    Wonderful ways you have listed here...

    Thank you for sharing your positive experiences, your logical way of handling situations and your sense of judgment. I am going to remember this whenever I have a fight with him :)

    takeare,
    dhiv.
     
  8. sirisyam

    sirisyam Silver IL'ite

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    Very informative post.
    u r absolutely right Cute "Patience wins heaven".

    BTW
    Wish you a very happily married life !!!
     
  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Very inspiring. It reminded me of a poem I used to treasure a while back. You have actually applied that poem into a typical Indian marriage situation, and I really admire your attitude and approach :hatsoff:hatsoff:hatsoff . This style of Indian woman who asserts herself without stepping on anybody's toes always moves me.

    This was that poem:
    After a While by Veronica Shoffstall (1971)

    After a while you learn the subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

    And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
    And company doesn't mean security,

    And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
    And presents aren't promises

    And you begin to accept your defeats
    With your head up and your eyes open,

    With the grace of a woman,
    Not the grief of a child

    And you learn to build all your roads on today,
    Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
    and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

    After awhile you learn that even sunshine
    Burns if you get too much

    So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
    In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

    And you learn that you really can endure...
    That you really are strong
    And you really do have worth,
    and you learn and learn...
    With every good bye you learn.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
     
  10. Pragmatic

    Pragmatic New IL'ite

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    Hi all
    I have been in almost the same situation for almost a year now.
    Mine was a love marriage but love seems to have vanished since we got married. To start with the things that made me little upset ...first we never went on a honeymoon...My husband kept dragging it for some or the other reason ...and as a newly wed girl I was extrmly upset..
    Secondly whenever we went out he always seem to be uninterested. He use to avoid taking photos of us together....He use to avoid going out.
    Only thing my husband does was to watch TV or stick to his laptop surfing net. I use to feel lonesome and neglected...Festivals, bdays, valentine day came and went and he use to show no interest. After few months I started to raise my voice ..we had some major fights and one day he raised hand on me ..No not a single slap but continous slaps till I dropped.
    I thot I will leave him but then couldnt do so coz i wanted to make my marriage work....I tried calming myself down ...he also turned to me in a positive manner and we reunited ...though his old habits were intact ...TV, Internet , Work that made him happy...

    My husband is extremely intelligent...I feel proud of him but lately he started bragging abt himself and mostly make fun of my IQ. He feels happy only when he gets appreciation at work or when he do somekind of research...He shows off his intelligence all the time....He calls me dumbshell.
    I really felt dejected when he didnt show any interest in celebrating our first wedding anniversary...It was a regular day for him...I was sad coz Iall my newly couples do somethng special on their big day and here we are sitting idle on our anniversary. He is just not into our marriage ...He is laidback and a slob I feel.
    I fail everytime I try to be mild and back on track after fight ...coz he still is firm...He enjoys tv,internet and his work ...There is no room for me, my likings or anything that we can do together.
     

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