My Kid Said Word "brown People"

sanjuruby3 · Jun 5, 2023

Yesterday we were in small tight indian restaurent when my 4 yr old shocked me when he just said "why there are so many brown people".

It was such a shock for me. We as indian family would never call ourselves brown so for sure he must have heard from outside, school or some white neighbours.
Even my older one did not understand the meaning of it.

Is it racist, i am not sure. It should be okay i guess. But someone is defintely talking in front of him. I did try to ask him but he is just 4 years old and wont tell much.

What should i do? Let it go.. or talk to school. Honestly, being called brown - i do not feel it racist and probably kids getting tougher for bigger issues that way.
It did bother me that time.
I am hearing lot of racist attacks on indians these days infact very close experience.. hence worried.

Also, my kid has recently changed schools. In both classes, he did not have many brown/indian kids. Infact none in previous and probly just 1 in current one. I suspect he learnt from old school but he is not speaking anything.

MalStrom · Jun 5, 2023

Saying “white” or “black” or “brown” by itself is not racist. It is descriptive. I call myself a brown woman. Calling someone an ethnic slur like the N-word is racist and offensive and will have very negative consequences for the person saying it.
This would be a good time to start teaching your son that people come in all shapes, sizes and colors but everyone is basically the same regardless of their external appearance and should be treated with respect and courtesy. If he is curious just explain to him matter of factly. Expose kids to diverse people so they accept this as natural.
Talking to Young Children About Race and Racism | PBS KIDS for Parents

Talking to your kids about racism

anika987 · Jun 5, 2023

My girl when she was around 6 or 7 asked me “There are so many dark skinned people around me” and I was shocked!! Lot of people looked at us and I wanted to vanish…was shocked

We at home never have spoken about color and very particular..we then researched how..

In KG there was a subject where her teacher taught about MLK and people etc and my kid was influenced.Some young minds are very fragile and my kid is one.

Now she is grown up and understands differences.

Probably your child is observant and try to find out. where that w question stemmed from..it’s a part of growing up and they learn

Rihana · Jun 5, 2023

I would take the question at face value and view it as an innocent question from a 4 yr old. It is common for kids that age to ask out loud about people who look different such as those who with a limp, use a walker, are bald, pregnant, dressed very differently, missing an arm or leg or a transgender experimenting with their gender expression. At about 7 to 8 yrs age, they start to understand which questions or comments are inappropriate, when and why. It is a continuous process and parents can help by exposing the child to people of all colors, abilities, gender identity and orientation.

Swetha52003 · Jun 5, 2023

EmbraceRace | Seeing, Noticing, and Talking About Differences with…

Young children notice other peoples skin color, they do internalize the differences , sort and categorize. That does not make them “ racist “. Our goal is to not raising them “ color blind “ but be aware of all kinds of races and skin colors. I know it can be embarrassing when kids say this and other adults hear it. But instead of shushing them think what you can talk to them about race so that they can be race conscious and unbiased. To your 4 old you can say, different people have different skin colors. Even same family members have different skin shades. Give him the confirmation that all skin shades are beautiful and they are just right the way they are . You can teach them about melanin and how colored people have more of it and lighter people have less of it.
Also teach them what words are absolutely not allowed to say in the public. There are some words, whatever our intention is we should never say for others to hear it. For example after summer break starts, my son is so interested in learning about all the countries around the world. There is this country in Africa and he himself told me maybe we don’t say this country’s name aloud, because whoever hears it cannot say what we are talking about ! Your kid is just curious about the world around him Sanju,give him the right inputs

swarnamary · Jun 5, 2023

now every kid is using the RACIST, for each and everything parents saying even when we ask are there any indians in your class?? its racist mom, is that boy bring india food for lunch?? racist. kids especially 4 yr might have heard word from somewhere so he is just using it without actually knowing the meaning of words, thatshow now my 11 yr old use to do when he was 4,5 yr old.. finally i got tired of him saying few words like this and ask him do you actually know the meaning of that for which he reply right answer. so you can tell him to be careful when using new words around people.if it works its good, otherwise need to wait an yr or so for him to understand..