Donor Sperm While Married

Lady, calm down please. I see your frustration about sexless marriage, irresponsible husband, your biological clock ticking and you wishing to be mother soon.
1st and foremost, to answer your question of " why docs want consent from your Husband or why they want to talk to you both and take his sperm...", Well there are lot of legalities in this.
If you opt for donor sperm without consent or info to your husband, he may sue you as well as doctors who performed IUI with donor sperm in the court.
You'll end up in ugly court battle. Hence better you talk to husband and convince him to come clinic, give his semen and let doctors do IUI with your husband sperms.

The reason for his unemployment at this age? What does he plan to do in his future life considering he must be already in mid 40's.
I am surprized you married an unemployed irresponsible man in 40s... But don't wish to judge your choices. I understand you are not going for divorce because you're already in 40s and might be difficult to again get into another marriage or plan kids.
Wish you all the best. Don't give your hars earned money to your irresponsible husband.
Invest it so that you can live comfortably in your old age n for your kids future.

 

The clinic will need the consent of both parties for legal reasons.
It might be easier for you to convince your husband to give a sperm sample to the clinic, since his results are normal. They can freeze it and use it as needed for IUI or IVF.

 

From what I know, IUI needs atleast 3-4 cycles and is as close to a natural trial. So, she might have to convince him to come every month. Maybe thats the problem she has.
Also, from what OP is saying, the husband will be much better off signing the consent and get it over with than the pressure of going to the clinic every month.
He is unemployed at 45+ approximately, so I dont know what drive he has for anything anymore.

I think if he signs the consent, you are fine and no legal issues.

The docs might want to talk to him to ensure they explain what he is signing for OR might be suspicious that you are not giving him full disclosure. OR maybe giving that full explanation of what he is signing is their job???

Also, you said you are already living separately. So, maybe you already come in the "estranged couples" category and dont need consent (please check on this). If you are keen on the donor, can the lawyers help? I So so so well understand the problem with indifferent partners.

 

Sorry I had to write this.
I understand your desperation and clouded judgement, but you are being extremely selfish.
There are serious issues in your marriage and why do you want to bring a child into this situation?

Also, you are legally married so obviously the clinic needs his consent.

You cannot marry a 45 yr old unemployed person and expect him to change at this age.
You have made desperate and wrong decisions throughout.
You need to stop and analyse and not bring a helpless child into this.

 

I think this is very judgemental of you.

I don't think OP wants to work on her marriage anymore. Atleast she is not asking us for any tips to save her marriage. She wants children and she is not bringing children into this marriage.

I remember reading her posts that she got married for children and to experience pregnancy. So if her husband cannot provide her children and is an obstacle in her endeavors to have children (ED, donating sperm, donor sperm etc.), then why is that not a problem??