Just Venting!!

More power to you..

 

I can completely understand your plights. Just don't give up. Take care of yourself. Take a day off for yourself and spend the whole day alone. Watch some movie, go to parlour and groom yourself - just something which will make you happy. As @Laks09 rightly said, ask your hubby to wind up.
Regards

 

Dear @sm123

I have heard it enough times, but counting the blessings won't help all the time.
People who have killed themselves or slipped into depression have some or other blessings in life. But what they lacked caused them into trouble.
It is equally important to count on what you do not have, and act upon it.

In your life, you may have many blessings, but at this moment you do not have peace of mind. You do not have a supportive family (H and kids). Both H & Kid have different problems, that is adding fuel to the fire.
You do not have necessary machines to share your workload at home. You do not have time for yourself, and time for the family to share whatever their burden.

This is all in addition to the already strained relationship you have with your H, and in laws. Plus your kid is turning to teenhood. Needless to say your own hormonal and health complications, that may add more pain to the already stressful life.

Accept all this.

This is the package you are blessed with. See how best you can manage this around.

First of all, prioritize yourself!

8-9 hrs job with a commute is already draining if you are approaching menopause.
Leave the cooking, cleaning and maintaining the house job to your husband who is at home these days. He can enjoy the tasks with the company of his mother. Involve your kids if they can pitch in as necessary.

Hire a maid, or part time helper as appropriate to help around the house if your H and MIL fuss with this responsibility.

Whatever the decision, it will come with a cost.

1) If you work and pay less attention to your body & mind, you will pay a big price for the same down the line. Your health, mental peace etc..etc... is very important, especially in such a family where there is lack of love and affection, you are left to care for yourself. No one will ever think for you, unless you do it for yourself. This is the time to act.

2) If you ask your H to share the chores, or MIL to help in the kitchen, they will fuss. But, they will fuss for other things too.
They might steal the kitchen and your control in the house. But who cares?
You have other better areas to control in life.

3) Your H and MIL may refuse to share the kitchen & household chores with you. Perhaps their tradition, upbringing, H's recent loss of job, insecurity, you name it.... may prohibit them from doing the chores. It is OK. This is not the time to argue or fight over this. This can kill your inner peace and fuel the fire.
So, hiring helps or ordering food outside is the only available option.
They can't say NO, when you say NO to overworking.
Hiring helps may come with a price. But the entire family has to bear the burden. Not just you.
This may be the cure for your health issues. Why not?

Learn to say NO, and prioritize yourself, and let the world work on its own.

You will be at peace. Because you can only control what you have. Do that in a more efficient manner.

Kind regards
Ida

 

Start to office like you do every day, but go book a nice (or simple) hotel room for yourself and just order room service or take out from your fav food. Go back home in the evening. Or check in your office if there are girls who live together. You can ask them if you can stay till they get back home - if you like it.
I gave my house to a lady colleague who was in a similar situation as you. We were close and she used to come home frequently. One day, she just called and said shed like to stay at my place quietly as she doesnt have that at home "quiet". So she did. I just showed her the milk, tea powder, sugar, cookies, bed, blanket, heater setting, etc. And she was fine by the end of the day. But thankfully, she didnt overuse it.

or just tell them you have a conference and go for a 2 day vacation, maybe with your teenager as it might help him/her also a break.
You need that rest and reset. You cant afford burn outs for your own sake.

 

go for it my friend ! let me know how it felt. Maybe you can rewatch the millionth rerun of FRIENDS on the hotel tv. Make sure your bag has a pair of pj pants and flipflops.. ooo I almost envy you already !