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Relationship Hijack And Banter - 3

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Rihana, Nov 20, 2019.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A friend's in-laws moved to the U.S. for good. They will mostly live separately, one with each child. Why this Baghban I asked. That is what they want, she said.

    Come to think of it.. maybe after that many decades of marriage, some weeks or months apart each year is not a bad idea.
     
  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    With all due respect to this elderly couple & their choices, I think it is not a good idea unless you have issues with your spouse.
    A woman can easily mingle with her children's family and avail herself to support the young family in need at many occasions. Therefore, her presence will be always valued and respected.
    However, sadly a retired man's presence will most likely be counted as dependency and many men in our part of the world are indeed dependent on the female members of the family (be it mom, wife or DD or DIL) for food & services.
    This might eventually make their stay uncomfortable, leading to many other problems.

    I would rather suggest they stay together and be depend on each other for life :)
     
    sm123, Rihana, drdiva and 1 other person like this.
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That's true. A woman would more easily mingle with her child's family and get involved in their routines and household activities. A retired man is more likely to be a little detached and will be dependent on the female members for food etc.

    Whether a woman's presence will hence be always valued and respected by the young family is debatable. Some DIL's would prefer a "detached" mostly in the drawing room FIL than an involved and often in the kitchen MIL. : )
    In this case, the older couple get along well with each other but have a rather unusual issue. The man desires sex more frequently than the woman is willing. The woman on the other hand believes they are past the age of needing to have sex or something like that. She prefers that they live with one child each, and they talk 2-3 hours each day on whatsapp.

    Kind of sad. I don't know if they tried to reach a middle ground about sex in the sunset years. They of course don't believe in counseling etc.

    When is sunset years, one could very well ask. : )
     
    shreepriya likes this.
  4. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Is this wife ready to allow her h to explore sexual options outside marriage ?
    Sad situationbto be in, but many people think its a crime to think about sex after 50's. Living seperate lives for this reason? interesting
     
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Living separately from your older husband who is in need for sex (which is reasonable physical need) is not going to solve their problem. It is like, hiding food from a starving kid. It may create some unwanted problems in their life down the line.

    This is a very subjective matter. Especially for women, given hormonal imbalance, looks weight, and all what is going on with their mental health aging is much faster after they reach menopause.
    But there are women who look as if they are still in their mid 30s, and behave young too. The same applies to men as well :)
    But in a marriage, both husband and wife should work together and reach a middle point about their respective needs. Hiding away won't work :(

    Exactly my question. Not just the wife, the children, SNIL/DIL and the grand children would be in problem if he finds any alternative option for his sexual needs
     
  6. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    May be they want to be of help to their both kids at the same time . Or they had tolerance issues with each other right from the younger age , and see this as a good opportunity to be separate.
     
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  7. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Looks like its not a very unusual issue like we guessed
    Plea for help: 87-year-old woman calls Abhyam helpline for solution to 89-year-old hypersexual husband's demands
     
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