How To Help Him To Bounce Back

@SGBV,

I know how much you struggled to set your life in the right direction from all your previous posts and I know you did everything you could to bring your husband back into a happy family fold as opposed to the gripping evil influence of his parents. Right or wrong, he damaged himself in the process so much and is trying his best to find a way out to keep himself busy. He definitely needs to drop the requirement in his mind to find the right job in a new country meeting his qualification. I know it would hurt his ego to work on ordinary positions. But idle mind is a devil's workshop and he needs to learn to occupy his mind in a constructive way.

Whatever you do, I wouldn't recommend to use the children to speak up to him and that will kill his enthusiasm. I have learned from a psychologist that when it comes to the children, the parents must be united and back each other. If they look up to you and tell your children to treat him with resepct as well. All discussions between you should happen in a private setting. Ask him honestly what you could do to help him as opposed to telling him what to do. That will bring back his confidence. If he is asking for a reasonable help from you, please extend this help for him to establish his footing. Tell him that you both are one unit to make the family successful. However, continue to handle your finances yourself until you feel that he is contributing to the family with the best of intention.

He may have some ideas about what he wants to do. If it is possible in the country you live, support him to get there. If it is not practical, tell him to find other options as it won't work. Work permit is certainly an issue for him and hopefully, you find a solution that will work in the best interest of your family. My best wishes.

 

He may be suffering from depression. If you can get him to see a mental health professional that might be helpful.

 

If you think from your husbands point of view, he has lost himself in all the struggles he have had in this life. From being a smart intelligent guy in the beginning to this point now that he has nothing worthwhile to do, no motivation to go to work or do business, just lazing around watching videos. I think he doesnt feel like doing anything out of his own will as there is practically no need for him to do , as wife is earning well and you all are living a comfortable life.
To help him bounce back, firstly can you make him to get out of the house daily for some walks or exercises. Either you accompany him or your kids should. May be 1 or 2 hours daily in the morning or evening. Get him to meet or talk to few people.
Secondly, can you allow him to go hunting for work in another country. Not to your homeland but a different place altogether. Be careful about financing him in the new place. Just try to get him out from the comfort zone. Chances are that for his survival, he might take up a job in a new country. Good luck to you.