Am I Doing Something Wrong ?

Talk to an attorney first. Find out your rights. Have a plan for how to handle things if he finds your cameras. Do all your homework before thinking of purchasing a nanny cam.

You are way past the point of handling this on your own. You need help and you need it fast. Talk to an attorney.

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Giving money to parents as repayment of debt or for medical expenses is the best-bet borderline legal way you have of hiding money. Most people are not rich enough to utilize trusts or smart enough to get post-nups

 

Its normal to have self-doubt in an abusive relationship( your posts indicate emotional abuse. Its not normal married life) followed by lack of self - respect and low self esteem.
So the question is- are you overthinking or imagining these situations or is there any problem from your husband's side? What is the truth? Who is the culprit- your thoughts or husband's abusive, controlling behavior? We dont know your H's version. Its good be practical, I agree. But an abusive environment is not good for you or kids. If you like to live this way then stop complaining about your husband, accept it, focus on healing, set boundaries, introspect and fix your side, be positive and find ways to live your life- not good for you, but, you are already living like a roommate. Only you can decide whats best for you. Dont expect any miracles. ILites tried to enlighten you, but you are not ready yet. So its beyond something we can help.

If you like to help yourself, you need to consult a professional - a counsellor/ therapist to figure it out. It will help you to gain clarity on how to proceed.

 

From all your posts, eager,,
Your husband is very abusive.

 

this is a classic case of trauma bonding.

I wish you had a personal relative or friend who is honorable and trustworthy and you also trust his decisions. he she could pitch in and take in his / her care separating you .

you need therapy and may be light medication. Sorry this sounds all offensive, but thing is you do not realize how much this has affected you

 

You are working full time and raising kids
It a huge work

Usually husband's help in Chores and kids with working wives and homemaker wives too.
There was a fb post where most men agreed that homemaker wives too need help in household chores and kids because it's a 16 hr job.
If the kids have sleep problems, it's more work

 

You have already wasted your life. Please don't go back now. There is nothing wrong with you.

 

I have wondered myself that your accounts of the arguments and quarrels are quite one-sided. You post something incendiary that your h did or said but never offer details of what led up to it, what precipitated it, what you said, what he replied what happened afterwards etc. I figured maybe all you want is to vent and receive sympathetic support. But then you will also get the kind of replies you received which you seem to be unsatisfied with. If you give a clearer view of what goes on, including being honest about things you said and did, and present the whole picture, (I'm not putting entire blame on you but in husband wife quarrel there are always two parties involved!) then the advice you receive will be more useful, balanced and practical.