How To Handle A Ocd Husband

Dear OP, Before marriage how he was managed by his parents? You might get cues if you can talk to his parents or even his siblings. How he is able to work in an office and visit other places where he can Not command and get clean surfaces without a speck of dirt?

Every one seem to at some stage turns a patient suffering from OCD malady. Over time they overcome .

Leave him alone at home TO FEND for himself for a fortnight & then only he would realise that he suffers from OCD and mend his ways. As long as he finds some one at his beck and call, he would derive a kind of pleasure in ordering and commanding around.

 

Yes. We take advantage of those who are at our back and call. We order at home but not in office or boss. Mindset changes.
Syamala

 

I guess he needs some counselling sessions.
Syamala

 

Dear Op,

You can request your husband to do some yoga (Surya Namaskar, Om chanting) or breathe in breathout exercise what ever he is comfortable with.

You can play a soft music whenever he is at home and morning time religious chants.

Also for food try to reduce intake of Onion, Garlic and Nonveg food items and increase consumption of fruits and salads in your diet.

Also be empathetic towards your husband, getting angry or blaming wont help.

Because I feel, he may not listen to you for counselling or visiting doctor, people are really adamant at times.

I had anger and stress related issues, I have been following this schedule past 2 years it helped me a lot apart from counselling.

 

Sounds like he wasn’t always like this. He slowly changed over time. Job loss or other situations can cause insecurity and feeling overwhelmed. Some respond by clamping down very strictly on the things they can and do control.
Your job is to make him realize his actions are not normal through your reactions. He may be unaware of it. So start by registering disapproval in your reaction. Don’t suppress your irritation let him see it on your face even as you comply. Depending on how worked up he is start small (sigh in exasperation, stop and just look at him, repeat what he said with an incredulous look etc.) Gradually work up to simple statements - (this is too much, this is not normal you know). The change won’t happen in one day. Gradually the weight of these small reactions will sink in over time. You know him and how he reacts so you pick from my suggestions what to say when. Just communicate your disapproval of his behavior but safely without provoking more fights. At an appropriate time express your concern- you’re worried, he needs to relax and suggest things to do and help him do them.
It could be combination of newhouseitis Covid and his recent joblessness. I remember when we bought our house, we were extra careful around the walls and banging things around- after signing the house papers with those $$$$ amounts we didn’t want to shell out again so soon for repaint or repairs. It went away with time. With a small child, designate one of the inside rooms as play room and keep all the toys there - to cut down on the clutter and your cleanup as well.
Other suggestions:
If he starts ranting interrupt him little forcefully- point out you are also being careful, list the steps you take and urge him to calm down. Another trick is don’t answer the question asked, say how his questioning is making you feel. Address his behavior- see again you are getting upset. See you are shouting again, I can’t think, please calm down etc. When you keep pointing it out he will become aware of how often he gets upset. Then suggest ways to destress. Speak calmly and factually and don’t take his actions to heart. It will take time for him to relax back to normal.

 

Yeaa.. You found the solution for ur problem.. cheeers.

Hmmm it means ur DH is almost ( i would say 95%) perfect partner and u really lucky to have a such a person. Rest 5% imperfections u can ignore with above valid reason. Life becomes more sweet when we learn to celebrate the differences.

All the best.

 

Thanks for the response and am glad that you reported you discovered method and found relief.

God Bless your family & you.

BTW thanks also for clicking “LIKE” to my answer #12. You have granted me the 9000th Like -a milestone for me.

Regards.

 

Thanks dear for ur reply. Just tht wen i hv gone alone out wth my son i feel bit lonely... I keep thinking why i married then if i hv to go out alone, we marry to get companion right? Yes he comes with us to grocery, shopping, restaurant, hospital (if for son) smtm to park (1hr) but any other plc wer we hv to spend more time like 3 hrs or so he is not interested, beach he thinks sand is dirty etc so in short not many places to go n explore... But i want to explore and i wanna explore with a companion. Is it wrong to think tht way??