Mil/sil Undermine My Position In My Own Home

My mil and sil have been playing this dirty game with me which I recently understood
I have worked hard for 16 years and made everything , my home from scratch ( no support from in-laws and always gave them even when we had nothing and when they needed nothing )
They both know that anything related to kids , house , friends , social is all me and my husband just plays along . He takes care of finances , so of course when giving in-laws money etc and what is happening in bank account etc , I do not question him much .basically just like Any other home we both have our respective roles and we manage it both well.
my in laws would always talk about money ,giving to his sister all on my back .. this has happened since the beginning of our marriage .. and my husband would be made guilty and give loads to money to sister etx
Now recently(2-3years) my sil and mil both do not call me at all.. they would always just call at my husbands phone and if he doesn’t pick up , they do not even bother to try my phone .. but when they talk to my husband they pretend and will try to act the nice one and ask to talk to me … but if I’m not there or whatever they will both not even once in past 3-4 years tries to call me myself on my phone … even for kids bday , the phone call comes to my husbands phone only to congratulate .
Now during Christmas and bdays I send gifts to all the kids .. I ask my sil what her kids are into and will arrange to send gifts accordingly .. she on the other hand ask my husband and even when the parcel is delivered , tells him only that it’s there and ask him if kids like it etc etc

what I recently realized is that both mil and sil are doing the same thing. They both have discussed and joint hands in making sure to not involve me and call me in anything

I have been giving them chances and ignoring this for almost like 1-2 year . But now I’m really hurt
I spend so much time worrying about sil kids and asking her what they would like etc etc and she just literally undermines my authority as a mom and straight goes to my husband knowing that I handle this department at home

some of you will suggest to leave it and be happy and let husband take care of this..
I’m not happy …
1. I want to tell or show them somehow that I understand the game that they are
Playing to show me that I do not exist
2. How do I change it because I do exist.. it’s my home , my kids and there are certain things that I need to do as a lady of the house .
If tmr they visit my home , I’m the one cooking cleaning and doing the seva for them. It’s not that I will sit and let my husband do the cooking now because his sister is here and they both can figure it out .. meaning I feel it’s my role as a lady of the home to take care of guest similarly I should be asked for things related to kids etc and they should be calling me at times as well o enquire and talk to kids ..

I’m really furious and even if I have to leave it , I do want to send a message across to both mil and sil in someway
If they will not respect me in m own home , I also will not have any respect in my home for them especially sil

What is your best advice here to send the message across? I’m sure a lot of you have faced this situation where in-laws treats you like you dnt exist