1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Divorce After Age 50

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ProudIndian, Mar 27, 2021.

  1. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    804
    Likes Received:
    847
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Lot of Indian women in unhappy marriages Wait for kids to go college so kids should not have any bad effect of divorce. By that time women’s age becomes 50. Is it possible to find new partner in that age? How is life for Indian single women after 50 in USA? What if women is financially independent and doesn’t want to remarry but want to experience good companionship?
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
    Loading...

  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,969
    Likes Received:
    20,846
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel it is totally your choice and your life.If you are unhappy with your partner and both amicably decide to separate..it is totally fine.Society has absolutely no say in it and you don’t even need to care.


    Your kids are now adults and they should also understand that you have a life.True they may feel quite bad to even relate to another person in their mom’s life but you need to communicate with them and try to explain your point of view.

    You should also understand your kids will never be okay with it and you should also be totally okay with the fact that the possibility of your kids not at all being comfortable with the new person in your life.They may also dislike your choices but it all depends on your mental strength,how true you are to your feelings.How you handle it basically.

    Again..it does not make you selfish to prioritize your choices.You were a good mom and wife and you did your duties.It’s totally fine to choose a life you like after you have done what you had to do.

    What is right for one person is wrong for another.That’s the fact.

    However,You are the only person totally responsible for your actions and feelings.Remember that.

    The same choices we make will be okay and not okay at different stages in your life.Everyone‘a feelings, priorities and what they want is different.

    As long as you live in a way true to yourself without harming another person it is fine whatever you do.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2021
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,969
    Likes Received:
    20,846
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Also,in USA nobody cares.Even our fellow Indian friends strangely mentally become more open and broad minded abroad.It is all due to influence of the society.

    Maybe people may gossip a bit behind the scenes or some might be upfront with your choices but none of their business.

    It also depends on the kind of friendships and people you “choose” to be acquainted with.

    I remember now..three years back my aunt’s friend close to 50 was getting married to another guy and I met her at a party.Honestly,nobody judged nor did she care.
     
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2021
  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    Financially independent ? If that be so, divorce is a thing to consider, whether marriage is happy or not.

    Quite a lot of couples, each making a high income, would find divorce another strategy to save money on taxes. This is tax season in America; you can do a calculation for a hypothetical married couple making equal amounts [X00K each] of high salaries with a Joint Tax Return as well as two single tax returns, and compare the savings. If the incomes of the two are high enough, and most deductions are pretty much unavailable, they would save enough money for one or both kids' expense in a state university.

    Of course, they'd have to keep it a secret from the kids, if the kids are susceptible to "bad effect". This scenario (secretly divorced) would eliminate the need to go looking for a new companionship.
     
  5. ajjukarai

    ajjukarai New IL'ite

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Iam in the same boat. Nearing 50 soon. Only son is in college. Planning to move out and live alone. Iam financially independent and not interested in any companionship. I find relationships to be overwhelming and too much of a burden. Also, at this age i am not willing to adjust and compromise. I am better off living alone and i so badly want the personal space. Then there are my parents and wonderful siblings. If at all i feel lonely, i would rather go spend a few days with my siblings.
     
    drdiva likes this.
  6. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,892
    Likes Received:
    2,011
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    My concern is for women 50+ who want to get married.

    What if the guy is using them for $$$
     
    lakshmi888 and chanchitra like this.
  7. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,258
    Likes Received:
    1,325
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Male
    36% of households in the USA are single person households. This is from our census data. Among this lot there are all manner of outlooks towards marrying.
    LOL.... Restaurants are graded with such symbols: $, $$, $$$, $$$$, $$$$$
    A financially independent woman should be able to set aside how much she wants to spend, and have a good life.
     
  8. snehalJoshi

    snehalJoshi Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    176
    Likes Received:
    65
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    I am curious to know this answer. I will be in my 50s when kids will be 18 yrs old. I fantasize (all-the-time) a life where I've divorced my H. I don't have to see his face again. Kids have grown up and are happy with their lives, I live in a small apartment/condo all-by-myself and I have lots of friends. I can make decision for myself. I don't have my H around to constantly blame me for every little discomfort around. MY H imposed a life of celibacy on me. For the sake of kids I am with him and having an affair while I am married is a big no-no for my values. But I missed on having a good companion with whom I can share a good relationship , a good romantic life.
    Will my fantasy ever become a reality? Please pray for me. I'm a good human being, I didn't do anything bad to deserve a life like this.
     
    chanchitra and KashmirFlower like this.
  9. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    804
    Likes Received:
    847
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    I read all your posts. Why don’t you try trial separation? Just build courage and live separate for some days and see.
     
    lakshmi888 likes this.
  10. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    236
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I don’t get it but if you have had kids with your husband, how can he be celibate ..
     

Share This Page