How Do You Call Husband And In Laws?

Call husband by his NAME, call mil as Amma and fil papa (Although I don't consider them so). When I am talking to my kids, I refer to their grandparents " Ur GF and GM") and with husband it's " Ur mother , Ur father. But the irony is my husband calls my parents as aunty and uncle. Height of hypocrisy. Curse of being born in a patriarchal society.

 

Why would you call your husband "aap"? Don't you deserve respect too? Does he call you "aap" too?

I am surprized that in 2021, where almost all of us are educated women are still falling into trap of the whole "women are lesser than men" patriarchy concept!
Let's be the change dear women. Let's set example for future women that we deserve equal respect and are not lesser than husband in anyway.

In my families both side, yes husbands were not called by their names. But then as I got married... i called 1st day itself my husband by his name infront of all his family, my family and his and mine relatives. None said anything there though but my SIL (husband's younger sis) who is younger to me as well in age had guts to come upto me in the room later n say I shouldn't call my husband by name atleast infront of others. I can do so only in private!
As a new bride, I was taken aback but since I came from orthodox family too where my mother never called my father by his name, I kept quiet.

One thing led to another and just within 1month of marriage, I realised how my husband and inlaws werr dominating me and trying to change everything abt me in the name of "you are this family's member now, you have to follow only our traditions and not what your mother follows!

That's the day I decided enough is enough. If i let this malignant behavr of them grow, I will lose my identity and I dint want that ever.
So I geared up and started saying no to everything they wanted me to do, was lavelled "arrogant bad dil" bcoz I dont do wat they want. Labelled "bad wife" as I dont "respect" husband by calling him by his name, not touching his feet, not doing poojas for his wellbeing (LOL...BIG LOL).Etc.
I gave nicely to my SIL too on her face said who are you to interfere in my life? Did I ask how you behave and what you do in your home? -> sil felt insulted and dint speak a word after that.
Ah well long story short, now after an yr or two, none dares to tell me what I should wear or how I should talk to husband or inlaws etc.
I made it clear "Give respect take respect. Give disrespect , take tons of disrespect "

 

Wow....I love you for what you are!!....wish I had so much of guts.

 

The trend as you watch in Tamil soaps in channels, would evidence that old changeth yielding to newer ways of addressing the partner called spouse.

In TAMILNADU India - In SUN TV serials - one finds spouse is addressed in different ways when they are alone or in the midst of other members of family. When it is to irk MIL or FIL, the spouse is addressed as pondaatee
பொண்டாட்டி or by pet name of hubby. I called my parents in law always as appa and Amma make them more endearing than they get more delighted. My spouse too. My daughter would call her parents in law as Appa & Amma.
They treat her as their own daughter.

When I pretend or lend a deaf ear, my spouse would call me In endearing voice first time “Enna ga” Second time little loudly “Enna ga” & third & final calling by Mr T... she would address my parents rarely and occasionally I heard her calling Amma & Appa.

But in movies, I enjoy the heroine B Saroja Devi calling in her musical voice MIL always as ATTHAI அத்தை.

 

I call husband by name. Used to call his parents mum and dad. When we lived with my parents he couldn’t even say the word mum and dad. For this reason and over protectiveness of my parents I don’t call his parents mum dad. In fact I don’t talk to them at all.

 

Bravo

 

I call my husband by his name.

Started calling my in-laws as amma and appa (as ill-adviced by my mom) but I realized that their behavior was very far from resembling that of decent human beings, let alone the lofty standards I hold for my real amma and appa.

So I don't use any relationship words.
When I'm directly chatting : How are you ? How is your health ?
When I'm telling my hubby : Your mom/dad called.