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Friends Am Back With The Same Problem After 7 Years... Some Of You Might Know Me What I Had Gonethru

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Pavithrarajsaai, Aug 8, 2021.

  1. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    Just want to add stop calling us mam. You need to address us with such respect. Just chill and relax. We’re all friends here and it’s a relaxed atmosphere. Please be kind to yourself and think you’re the queen. You sound like you’re from a good family and are kind. People will eat you alive if you show that you are an innocent lamb. But if you answer back. They’ll leave u alone.
     
  2. Pavithrarajsaai

    Pavithrarajsaai Senior IL'ite

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    After all your replies am feeling much much relaxed. I started going out for walking. All these days I was feeling ashamed to come out of the house. I have gained all this courage just coz of you all.
    Thank u
     
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  3. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    He wishes to settle abroad- you get ready for ielts
    He wishes not to - you stop
    He wishes a business- you start it
    Then he wishes for customers- you cook
    He wishes for more customers - you join food group

    You are the genie in the bottle... and you want to be in the bottle
    The day when you realise your potential ( which is A LOT)... and break free.... that miserable guy will go back to rags.

    Your desperation to get validated from this narc bunch is astounding... you think one day they will praise you if you sacrifice everything to them, dont you?
    Read about narcs.... you are just a goat ... they only care about the meat, not the life.
     
  4. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Narcs are wolf in sheeps clothing
    People will tell you there is fire
    You won't believe it
    Even though smoke is smoldering

    Narcs will never be pleased
    You can toil day and night
    You can find a cure for a disease

    Narcs put on a good show
    In front of others they make
    You look insane
    They will convince you family
    That summer has snow

    Narcs have no creativity
    They feed off your
    Desire for love
    And your soul's purity

    Narcs are ghoulish
    You give and give
    Without any love
    Without any thanks
    Isn't that foolish


    Inspired by @Roar post and the second book in Neaopolitan Novels where abused wife leaves husband and his business fails.

    Plus my own experiences.
     
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  5. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    I blame these serials, esp where Bahu is expected to be a miracle worker.
     
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  6. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    "I dream of Genie" was a fantasy TV show ~50 years ago. Quite a popular show, big hit among men [you can tell from the sponsors]. Old episodes are still available on the internet.
    Perhaps you wanted...Goose laying golden egg ? The mention of "Genie" made me wonder if that would be the perfect match for a Narc':

    If a man can come in a mental package on a scale that goes all the way from a Narcissist to a RamaKrishna [Paramahamsa, the wife-worshipping guru/mystic], and pretty much there is a match for each one of those personality types, what would a Narc' get ? If Madam Sarada Devi refused to sit still on an altar, and receive puja, what could Ramakrishna Paramahamsa do? So long as Sarada plays along with RP, all is well. :pNo? If Narc' exploits, and Genie complies without complaint, all is well, :pNo? Only when RP goes to the social media forum and tells all about Sarada's behavior, there is a prob in the hermitage [Shouldn't it be Hermitorium ?]

    Psych-Central has this help:
    Sometimes leaving a narcissist is not an option. A parent recognizes their adult child as narcissistic but desperately wants to maintain a basic relationship. A spouse is uninclined to leave their narcissistic partner for several reasons such as economic, commitment, or (dare I say) love. A child realizes their parent is a narcissist but is unwilling or unable to cut them out of their life.


    So how can a person learn to live with the selfishness, arrogance, superiority, and entitlement every day without losing their mind? How do they tolerate the narcissist using bullying to control, intimidation to convince, silence to avoid intimacy, anger rages to hide insecurities, and gifting to show love? It is possible and here are a few suggestions:12 Survival Tips for Living with a Narcissist
     
  7. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    That’s good to hear and well done. You’ll have tough days and you’ll have good days to follow those tough days. Be kind to yourself and never feel ashamed. Just learn a few tricks. If someone says something to shock u be calm don’t be shocked. If someone says something to hurt you smile and say something good.
     
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  8. Pavithrarajsaai

    Pavithrarajsaai Senior IL'ite

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    Thank u
     
  9. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    8 pages of threads.

    You need therapy , i think you are in india. and from your name you sound from tamil. if you are in chennai, i can refer a good one.

    i am still not sure you have understood what @DDream madam has shared on trauma bonding. Watch it couple of times.

    stop worrying about your son. You cannot raise a strong man, unless you are strong inside. Work on your inner healing. he will be alright, if you raise a strong and kind man who has a goal in life not a lazy bum.

    with all good intentions i am telling, you need therapy. Reading more and more threads , and replying thank you is not going to change just a boost of feeling good for sometime. You are still the same and that will take a lot of time to change your self esteem and personality.
     
  10. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    :thumbsup:
    It is easy to feel the symptoms of physical ailments, and seek medical help. It is not so with mental ailments. It is more difficult in cultures where talking about mental ailments may even be taboo. Especially if one believes that they are rational, and playing with a full deck of cards. Even the first step of conceding that one has an addiction [keep on paying money to keep indulging in a habit] would be a tough thing to do.
     

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