How Do I Stop Being Taken Advantage Of?

By using the word NO.
Straight NO, or diplomatic NO, its your choice

Are they paying you for babysitting. In that case you cant complain much. If not, send a text to everyone that you cant continue it due to job from this day onwards( advance notice). Do that as a group message. No need to give any more explanation. Its up to you to schedule playdates for your kids.

 

Use your words and say no. Why is that more difficult than feeling obliged to do something you don’t want to?
No one can take advantage of you without your participation. As the saying goes, fool me once shame on you....

 

your spouse is an idiot. who lets people treat his wife as a cook and nanny.

you initial mistake was innocent but further mistakes are foolish. you know what you are doing wrong. asking for advise is , you are not going to get any special answer in IL .

this is your house and your child and your life, if you do not want to be a nanny say no. do not want to cook for freeloaders say no.

 

I was you few years back @EagerForInfo
You can see my threads in neighbors forum
I too had apphrension for saying no.
Start saying 1) will think & let you know
2) will discuss with hubby & tell you ( I blame my dh in few cases like if someone wants their kids to pickedup/drop-off without prior info.
3) playtime only in outdoors if winters taking turns strictly. I used to cook kid friendly meals, buy juice snacks for play dates, make tea for moms. None of neighbors returned favor I stopped suddenly saying let's do this at your place. No one came forward. I understood this very late.
4) started saying no for simple things like group shopping where those ladies would treat me as Uber.
5) talk to husband tell how you feel.
It's certainly hard to say no for an empath, surely you will find your way of saying no.
Start with neighbors later friends

 

Every minute is vitamin M - the money in Us $. So say no to save and make money for your rainy days, benevolence now should not end in regret and repentance later. Do not hesitate to say a huge NO in right time.
.

 

Wow, this is unbelievable! OP, as others have said, start saying no. A true friend would not take advantage of another, especially when you have a small baby yourself. If it makes you any better, try asking these folks for a favor and see how good they are at saying No.. that should help you say No the next time they ask for something.. you don’t owe them anything, YOU pick and choose which favors you want to do, not your husband, not them.

 

Unless you say a NO ..either diplomatically or outright..people will continue taking advantage of you...
Regarding the request of your husband’s friend and your friend, you could have said no, giving the reason as you’re struggling with small baby and you’re unable to even cook meals for yourself let alone for additional people without help..l
And regarding the baby sitting thing, tell them you started working...dont give too many details, just tell them u got freelance assignments and you are unable to watch over kids as that’s keeping you too busy.
You got into above situations only because you agreed and said yes...
Just say no, maybe sweetly and diplomatically and drive the message into their head without being offensive.
You could keep complaining about how tough it is to manage baby without help and about health issues..how weak and tired you are..
Ask for help from the same friends, for something or the other and ask them for playmates at their place, and see how they back out giving some reason or the other..that will help you also to know how to say no..

 

Dear @EagerForInfo other members have already given very good suggestions on how to tackle this issue. You could also say since you are preparing for job interviews you are busy with that as well as taking care of your own baby and home. Or you could also if you wish start charging for taking care of their kids, that could be a source of additional income for you. Of course that will still be additional work for you.

 

Making money this way might attract IRA. Take care!