Spending Time Together : Who Visits Who

Hah! Some people really don’t like to travel or go out of their comfort zone. It seems to get worse with age. You have tried asking, they don’t want to change. Just accept it for what it is and visit them as your schedule permits.
Don’t get too hung up on counting who visits whom. As we grow older I realize that the time with our elder loved ones grows shorter. Find a way to keep the relationships strong.

 

My sister and her spouse in last week of Feb 2020 left India to Cupertino to be of assistance to their daughter who was expecting. Their air passage booked by their daughter/son-in-law.
Within a week of their arrival, sister’ daughter delivered a healthy baby.

One year of varying seasons had gone by. In the last one year, so many times we spoke on video call and at no time, there was any hint of dissatisfaction of their prolonged stay thanks to lockdown. Last message that they got vaccinated without any reaction or aftereffect gave me a huge relief.

When asked often specifically about my sister’s & Bil’s readiness in adapting to Cupertino life style, my working sororal niece and her spouse in one voice said that they are feeling ”at home” in their home and taking good care of my grand-niece.

But then with this info, one can not conclude or generalise that all visiting oldies from India to THERE are happy or unhappy about their stay in USA.

Thanks for nostalgia.
Regards.

GOD - East or West - East coast Home is Best!

 

You’re so lucky your in laws don’t stay long! Their backgrounds are different, they may be enjoying the calm and healthy and carefree life in their village...they would have a good social life there with known neighbours and relatives, which they can’t have in city..
The fast lifestyle in city with busy and working some and DIL would bore them a lot...
Don’t blame yourself, you have tried your best and you anyways cannot take them sightseeing during this pandemic...
Apartments in cities are smaller, they’re used to larger and spacious home s in village.
That itself is an issue, all cities have rising number of Covid cases..maybe smaller villages like theirs do not have any Covid cases and they could stay there peacefully and with freedom of movement.
Again let me remind how lucky you are, because
In laws do not intrude in your privacy
They don’t force you to cook varieties of foods like what they get in native village
They don’t overstay and leave in few weeks
They don’t force you and your husband to compromise on your work hours to spend time with them..
They would take care of their medical needs on their own and you don’t have to be caretakers everytime they fall sick.
According to my experience, short stays with in laws are usually bearable and peaceful, as both sides would make adjustments, and some distance is needed is needed in long run..when in laws stay for longer duration there will be major conflicts arising.

 

Everyone’s parents are different and so it totally depends on their comfort level in new places. My dad loves visiting US but my mom hates it so they very rarely come. Last time they came was 5-6 years back.

I try and go once a year but of course it is limited by how much vacation I have. Parents would like me to stay more with them but I can’t and they refuse to come visit me.

It’s painful but I have just accepted it. It is what it is.