Helpless Situation

Hi all
Need some insights from you all on this particular situation...
My uncle is dying of multiple myeloma and I have never seen someone suffering with pain like he does. His body is shutting down every single day and no amount of blood transfusions, pain killers etc are helping. The worst thing is that no hospital ( including govt) takes him for admission. He cries calling everybody asking us to either admit him somewhere or kill him...

My parents are depressed because of this as my uncle family stay close to us...I have no fond memories of him. He was manipulative, abusive, money minded and his own son has been so hostile to him. The son keeps yelling at the sick father and doesn't help him in any way. The wife is duty conscious and does what she can do. There are many many unpleasant memories which I don't want to recollect at this point of time..

My parents help him monetarily, provide food and help in ways possible for them . Now he calls them and forces them to take him to hospital.

Both my parents have severe comorbidities and one of my healthy relatives died of covid a week back. I have requested my parents to arrange some ways to take him to hospital. The aunt and son rented another home in the same flat and stay there. It seems they don't want to entertain his requests.

I am having sleepless nights because of this.
I researched on palliative care but there is none near my locality.

What are the ways to reduce pain in a dying patient? There should be some pain management therapy that would help him but surprisingly no doctor is suggesting it. Instead they gave him physiotherapy and the pain aggravated by many folds.
How will I console my guilty parents and myself as we can't see a human being suffering with severe pain?
Are all multiple myeloma this painful?

Last few days have been stressful beyond imagination. I can't even pray.

 

Exactly my point. Everyone says he is exaggerating and has to bear the pain. But how if pain is unbearable?

In india we have palliative care centres. Those are either very far from our home or too costly or too unhygienic and once when aunt tried admitting him, he begged us to take him back to home. Pain killers are just not working and we are literally begging doctors to help him at least for the moment. All they say is nothing can be done at this stage.

I am taking the risk now of travelling to my state this week to figure out things.

They stay in nanganallur, chennai. So incase ilites know someone (care centres, doctors) pl update me on this.

 

Rihana, the reason why hospital refuse is because they feel nothing can be done at this stage and he will be simply occupying a bed that can be given to deserving patients. Chemo, radiations are not possible given his current stage. blood transfusions failed and all the platelets died within hours of administration. he is eating minimal food and has kidney, stomach disorders aggravating the situation. He was indeed in hospital for the last 2 months and just returned back 2-3 days ago. His complaining and fussing nature adds to the woes and no nurse would want to attend to him at home. All the caretakers employed were driven out because of his attitude. Now we have arranged one new live in maid from hometown to help aunt (aunt is overloaded already because of her own health and other issues)

we do have a family doctor who finally suggested that intravenous opioids can be administrated if oral meds did not work as last resort( his body did not react well with opioids in the past). So they took him in the morning and the recent update is that now he is sort of ok. Feels little relieved.

To seek help, I have already posted in fb groups and yet to get response. I am looking for a long term solution where if some doctor can visit their home on a chargeable basis whenever required to administer the opioids as that seems the last option left. It seems he gets agitated at the mention of palliative care home so that option is also ruled out.

 

but he is teetotaler. but as you rightly pointed out not able to eat tasty foods is one of his biggest agonies and he cries over it. he hates fruits and healthy light foods. he loves all spicy, non veg foods but cant eat them because the moment he takes something heavy he suffers a lot because of severe dysentery and other side effects.