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Has Anyone Watched The Movie " The Great Indian Kitchen "

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by liya1984, Jan 19, 2021.

  1. liya1984

    liya1984 Bronze IL'ite

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    That's the issue....most of the men I know are just like that man we see in the movie with a little difference here and there...should women like me just give up ...
     
    lakshmi888 and KashmirFlower like this.
  2. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Unfortunately that’s the the reality you either live with it or put an end to the current life and start your life fresh, it will take a long time before men like this realize their mistake and make a change.

    Do you really believe that your DH will change or even ready to listen to you ?
     
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  3. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    I disagree with this statement I think you have come to this conclusion based on your current situation.

    You can post a survey in this forum and see how many agree with this statement “isn't most of the Indian men like the wham-bam-thankyou-mam mode in terms of sex.”

    Sex lives of Indians: How India makes love: Men have their first experience at the age of 24, women at 19 - The Economic Times
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2021
  4. NOW

    NOW Gold IL'ite

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    I kind of felt like one entire generation of progress that happened in socio-economic- cultural factors was skipped and it was kind of like the girl got the grand parents as in-laws instead of the parents generation. Wherein you will see other women like her own sister-in-law(one who is pregnant) and her friend(whose husband talks about what to cook that day) are probably living the normal modern life. This girl somehow was transported to 25+ years ago !!

    I got all raged the first time I saw the movie too, but the more I think of it .. the more I feel that the very first step of choosing that family & guy for that girl is a blunder. No wonder she took her life in her own hands. Though all the issues are exaggerated, I firmly believe the message that women are not going to just take it lying down is quite apt and applaud the filmmaker.

    It should be the norm that either the girl's wishes are respected equally as the guy's or they are better off separating if one has to suffer throughout their life at other's expense. It will be heartbreaking to go through divorce and even more complicated when kids are involved but at least it will send a message to the society still sleeping under patriarchal mindset.
     
  5. liya1984

    liya1984 Bronze IL'ite

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    I left my marriage cos mine was just like the guy in the movie , just that he was asexual....otherwise the passive aggressive and self centered attitude was absolutely the same....but like the movie conveys , my ex will find conveniently find someone else thanks to our great indian culture...

    I got into another relationship thinking " well maybe I should give it a try" ...and the guy was even worse than my ex...here he expected me to do everything and nothing from his side....

    Lol, am I cursed.....
     
  6. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't know what to say as not very familiar with the recent trends... Is the matrimony scene so dire that the only men available are those with patriarchy ingrained in them?

    A casual look at some of my friends (married for 15-20 or more years) and some younger people who got married in the last 5-7 years (either love, arranged or semi-arranged) shows that women are able to find men who believe in and practice equality. Not all the time and not 100% equality but enough to lead relatively happy lives...
     
  7. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Last edited: May 31, 2021
  8. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Silver IL'ite

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    i agree with @liya1984 and with @NOW and @chanchitra and @Minion.

    @Rihana- your experiences in desi community are very very unique and just 10 % of desi marriages have that kind of equality plus most desi people from outside think the other desi person's marriage is perfect n only very very very close people know how dysfunctional the marriage is or has been for 20 years...

    there r desi women in US not divorcing even when their husband has affairs n portraying a happy married life to to others even when many know of desi husbands affairs or escort visits n telling the wife...this is very common in desi community in US, CAnada n UK..

    i dont know if some one have stayed out late at night in downtowns in big cities in US n so many desi men u will see in front of adult cubs before they open as they open late at night... ...i saw so many desi men outside adult clubs before it was to open when coming out of late night party with my non desi friends in downtown in bay...they pointed that out too..

    many married desi men have propositioned to single desi n non desi women in office too n talk crap about their desi wives in long marriage during office hours in office..its very sad to hear n believ me they woudl divorce the long term married wife if the other woman gave them some lift ........

    there r desi married men on shaadi.com with profiles as single too....

    that is why, i have become very skeptical of desi men over the last 10 years after seeing all thsi in desi community in US
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2022
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  9. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Silver IL'ite

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    @liya1984 -my and my friend experiences are very similar to you when it comes to desi men and i agree with you 100%
     
  10. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Indian men mostly favor their family members over the wife
    Remain a silent spectator when wife is being tortured by parents or siblings.
    That itself creates a rift in the husband wife s**ual relationship
     

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