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Parents Going Out During Covid

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Socialbee, Feb 1, 2021.

  1. Socialbee

    Socialbee Silver IL'ite

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    Is anyone in India is following covid precautions at all? My parents, both above 60, never listen to me and keep roaming freely everywhere. They say they are wearing mask but it worries me a lot as I am so far away from them in US. As I was giving lot of advice, they started to go out secretly and never tell me about it. I am tired of them behaving so irresponsibly!! Why do elders don’t understand? They are being so selfish now.. they are only thinking about themselves. They don’t care about our feelings. I feel tense all the time and worry about things that could go wrong. They think I am just stopping them from enjoying their life. I am losing my mental peace. :(
     
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  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    When parents get to 60, the children will have to perform that Sixty-year-wedding ceremony. If this is not done, and the 60 year olds go off and roam freely, ignoring curfews, and doing what they please, it is a problem. Licentious behavior without the benefit of a wedding is always worrisome.
    Operating with a license is not called licentious, why is that?

    This is not uncommon. Some parents try to train their children for dealing with teenagers. Just like young people who are living away (on campus or off campus), far away living older generation should not be harangued. If they are harangued, they will not tell you what they are doing. And your worries would only increase. Chill out, offer some prayers for their safety [this applies both to children and parents who are away from home].
    Be happy that you have active parents, who don't complain to you of their maladies, and difficult lives when you call them.
     
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  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Ask me about it!! Most irresponsible bunch is the 60+ category.
    End of December my parents went to a temple in a different state much against the warnings of me n my husband. Their argument was every year they go and they shouldn't miss the festival this year. It seems some door to heaven will be open in this particular Temple on this particular festival.
    The request of not to visit me for 2 weeks because I have a 3 month old at home was ignored.
    5 days after the visit they are at my door. Am I supposed to not open my house doors for them ? I made a mistake here which ended up in me getting into trouble. They not only came, but played with my 3m old ,royally spread the infection to me and went back to call n say next day that they are unwell. 2 days of their visit I'm sick , my husband is sick,3m old is sick.Hell broke lose. We got tested and turned out me and my parents are positive. Luckily my husband tested negative. Thanks to his powerful immunity and also thanks to my low immunity post partum. On the day I started coughing we sent my 75+ aged in laws to a relative's house nearby.
    It was hellish time with me my husband and 3m old in home quarantine. Me isolating myself in a bedroom, baby and husband in other bedroom.
    I'm a new Mom , how should I feel to wear a mask, sanitize thoroughly and feed my baby without cuddling her?? Doctor gave a green signal to only feed my baby. Otherwise I had to maintain distance from baby. Luckily babies do well in covid and my 3m old tested negative inspite of having cold n cough. The pain part was to see that tiny one go through covid test.
    My husband all of a sudden had to take the role of mother n father to the baby. He did well, neighbors and relatives helped us with food n medicines.
    Though covid itself was like normal flu the antibiotics effect took a toll on my system. Severe diarrhea , and husband stressed out at my condition ,he couldn't concentrate OK the baby, we ended up sending the baby to my relative's house for a couple of days ,kept the baby on formula milk , though my relative was kind enough to pick up expressed milk once a day n fed the baby expressed milk whenever possible.
    Oh BTW my parents were admitted for 10+ days in the hospital as the municipality here wouldn't give them home quarantine considering their age.
    Life is limping back to normalcy . But it wasn't easy at all to sail through this tide..

    Tell me how can I forgive my parents for this??

    Will the 60+ come to their senses ever??
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2021
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh yeah. !! They blamed me for getting them tested and they were literally feeling punished to be in the hospital.
     
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  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Are u Amulet? :laughing: (sometimes) his/her replies are these hilarious ones which do no good to the original post.
    This is most out of context here.
    Though op's post itself was just a rant and she wasn't looking for any solution.

    BTW yes the 60th marriage of my parents did no good to me!!
     
  6. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    Tough times for you , even after that they dont seem to realise the havoc they caused ? Sigh!
    Hope you recover soon and things get back to normal.
     
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  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Sunpa. Yes they were sorry and I too have moved on but such situations it's better to be safe than sorry.
    Whole pregnancy was smooth and we all tried to be very very safe. It was a matter of few more months. Vaccinations were almost out... Temple visit can always wait.
     
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  8. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    In the same spot since covid started. I anxiously keep calling them every two days only to find them visiting here and there .. after all the pleading, reasoning, getting frustrated and all that, ofcourse all in vain, as @Hopikrishnan suggested, started praying for their safety and leaving the rest. At times, I feel as if I am saying to God - “ God we will do whatever we want, but please see that we won’t have any consequences.”

    I am practicing not to worry on this because it is something absolutely out of my control. I am not letting my mind go wild with what ifs, hows and whys. Deliberately choosing to stay positive and cutting off the negative thoughts at the start and not feeding them.

    But still, every phone call from India makes me anxious as to what I would have to hear.

    I wonder, if they are trying to take revenge on us for all the stubbornness and disobedience we showed in our childhood. :grinning::grinning:
     
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  9. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Must have been really hard for you @Anusha2917! Good to know things are improving..
     
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  10. Socialbee

    Socialbee Silver IL'ite

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    Very sorry to hear this! Hope everyone is feeling better now. My fear is similar to yours because my parents are also living close to my pregnant sister!! They meet her regularly. Imagine the trouble they are about to cause. They keep saying over phone that India is not like US. There are very few covid cases here and even if people get, they recover very soon.. bla bla bla... They think if they are drink ginger tea everyday, corona won’t come !!! Now I am very tired of all this nonsense. Don’t feel like talking to them at all!
     
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