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Discussing Finances And Wills With Young Adult Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Laks09, Jan 20, 2021.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    We thought about this when our new teen got curious about the family's net worth. : ) Long story short, we concluded that if they get to know the $$ numbers, the already spoilt brats who know no want and lead luxurious lives will lose any motivation to study and get a job.

    So, they have a general idea but not the actual figures, even as young adults.

    I do tell them our expenses. In excruciating detail. : ) The first time they saw our credit card statements annual pie chart thingies and other reports, it was an eye opener all round. Especially, the "take out" and restaurants part of the pie. : )
     
  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    This is a universal fear of the affluent chinese and desi's.
    I think the friends-of-parents (sounds like a facebook category ;-) )who have been chosen to plant good things in the heads of our children serve more functions than just be in the wills & RLT's.
     
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  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I think it was to teach her to do her taxes. I thought that was fairly easy to do with TurboTax. I didn't go that route :)

    I felt like it was not needed as well. I still don't know the details of my parent's assets and what is where. My Dad is a stickler for these things. He inventories my locker and writes down every single thing in great detail. Who went, took what, put what back is all documented. I'm sure all other financial details of theirs are in similar state of upkeep. Unfortunately, I didn't inherit that gene.

    I wish I had done this. I didn't. Making her get her own CC and putting her on an allowance before going to the dorm is the single most important thing I did. The kid who just swiped my CC for whatever she needed is now very aware of expenses, gas, take out orders and other things that just got taken for granted. Having to pay her own CC bill on time has turned out to be a good lesson. I remember her first day on the job one summer. She comes home and asks me if knew the "tollway" charged money to drive on there. Now, she takes the earlier exit to pay 50 cents less!
     
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  4. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    Hi @Rihana,
    Thank you so much for going into detail and sharing your knowledge and experience.

    You have given as much information as you possibly can in an online forum. Really appreciate it.

    I will do some research and come back to your post for reference. I think I need more knowledge to understand what you have laid out and to even ask questions.

    Thanks again!!
     
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  5. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    Amazing Information. Thanks so much !!
     
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  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Some businesses withhold taxes even if the kid is not making over $12000. If the kid files taxes, they will get that withheld money.
     
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  7. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Not just Chinese and Desi’s. This is a universal fear. I was surprised by the lack of money talk in my husband’s family (a Caucasian American). His parents never discussed assets/ wrath with him and his brother. They only started talking now because I ask a lot of questions.

    I grew up in a family where we freely talked about income/ assets. I know everything my parents own, their Will etc. As a young woman, it was good to know what we could afford and what we couldn’t.
     
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  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    I have noticed this as well. We were named executors/guardians in a few of our close friends' (native born couples) wills, and the children hardly know what the parents have. We had trained those kids to acquire a taste for uppuma (early evening cartoons-on-TV snack) just in case.
    Years and years ago, there was an academic paper from one of the Federal Reserve banks on the topic of Savings habits of immigrants versus native born. Immigrants were found to be more frugal (in their income class) and saved more than the corresponding cohorts among the native born. The speculation in the conclusion was that the immigrants have nobody to fall back to, if there was any financial emergency, whereas the native-born can depend on their families and relatives. While this may be operating in the subconscious, the asiatics are frugal even in their own motherlands. Within India, it is often observed that the northerners are more leveraged than the southerners-- the former group having a tendency to stretch themselves to enjoy more modern comforts than the people in the south.
     
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  9. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

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    Agree @Rihana, in my excel the first tab is Monthly budgeting it has everything and in sync with our bank statements and I use personal capital tool which visually shows how much we spend in each category!! And we talk a lot about how personal finance works, living below means and retire early lately, and thank you so much for your book recommendation "Bluechip kids" I started reading and loved the way it explained with great Illustrations.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2021
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  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @Thoughtful - Do check with your employer if they have a legal plan that covers wills and trusts. A lot of employers pay for this either partially or in full. If you have the plan, you can use it to hire a lawyer without needing to pay thousands of dollars for a lawyer.
     
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