Pay In A Different Coin

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Thyagarajan, Oct 22, 2020.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    This is like the trick question "Do you still beat your wife?"
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:
    Why doctors in operation theatres wear masks…. During training, a professor asked this question. Many told many reasons. He said nope. None found innovative. After their failed innovative attempts, He said - “So that nobody can identify us if surgery goes wrong!”

    Till today, I think this is the best reason…

    The other reasons, which of course could be :

    • Mask prevents our nasal, oral discharge to fall on open surgery wound. Imagine if a surgeon is having running nose and not wearing mask, the nasal drops are falling in wound. What will be the operative outcome? Disaster.
    • It prevents doctor’s face (lower half) contamination from patient’s blood, fecal matter, urine or any discharge.
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: I Never In A FIx :hello:

    Today is my girlfriend’s birthday.
    I asked her, “Can I get you a diamond necklace, for your birthday?”
    She said: “Nothing would please me more”
    So I got her Nothing.
    I am always grateful to my English teacher

    Last night I was driving back home from a party. I was on a high and saw there was Police checking. Bit scared at that very moment but then immediately I got down from the driver seat and sat in the rear seat.
    After few minutes the Police Officer came and asked me to move the car ahead for alcohol test.
    I said: “My driver ran away seeing you.”
    The Police Officer replied: “Then you move your car ahead for the checking.”
    I said: “No sir, as a true Indian citizen I should not drive drunk.”
    Officer looked at me compassionately got bit emotional and applauded me for my responsible behaviour..
    He sent one constable to drive my car to home.

    Kaun kehta hai peene k baad dimag kaam nahi karta ?

    Doctor asked me to cut down my drinking by
    three fourths….!
    I stopped adding Soda.

    One day I phoned up my doctor: "Doctor, I have not gone out since the first lockdown started. Now I have important work in the market. What should I do?"
    Doctor: "Don’t worry. Just wear mask and hand gloves. It is sufficient. It will protect you from Corona."
    I followed the doctor’s advice and gone out.
    To my horror, others were wearing pant and shirt as well!
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2021
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: Out Of Box Thinking :hello:

    Grandpa: you are 10 and at that age I used to go to market with Rs2 and bring bagful vegetables, rice,bread, butter, talcum powder.
    Grandson: Nowadays not possible. Everywhere CCTV installed.
     
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    “Have you done the home work”
    “ No madam”
    “Give me your book and stand on the bench”
    After seeing the book teacher finds he has done the home work,
    “ you have done it. But why you said not done”
    “ it was done at garden madam”
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2021
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    அர்த்தம் அனர்த்தம்



    upload_2021-2-26_23-51-42.jpeg
     
  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Wife : There are too many mosquitoes here. Please do something.

    DH dutifully takes the MosquitoBat and swings it everywhere like Dhoni.
    After a few minutes he sits back Says to spouse:
    "I have killed 3 male and 6 female mosquitoes".
    Wife "How can you tell the male from the female?"

    DH: "The ones that were sitting on the news paper were male and those that got killed near the TV were...."

    Before he could complete his sentence, she hit him on his head with the same MosquitoBat, with a spin, like that of good Old Venkatragavan!
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: Power of Single :hello:

    INDIA's PM is single
    TATA a billionaire is single
    Salman multi millionaire is single
    Yogi afflent is single
    Rahul rich in estate is single
    Mamta in white bleached is single
    Jayalalita evergreen was Also single
    Mayawati ever in ochre is single,
    Baba Ramdev yoga herbal combined king single
    Sri Sri RAVISHANKER tall of all is also single !!

    Now I am searching for that Lady who had said :-

    "Behind every successful man, there is a woman ".

    Due to those nice words menfolk got hooked up in WEDLOCK.
     
  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    “He what happened? You are whacked all over”.

    The police bludgeoned me continuously asking “Would you have nerve to steal? Would you do it again & again? Finally when I agreed to continue to steal, then only they let me out of jail”
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2021
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Advt in matrimonial site:

    Covid19 Vaccinated youth seeks hand of covid19 vaccinated female....

    Reply from marriage bureau :
    Currently only females above 60 yr available.
     

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