Expert Opinion - Very Complex Situation

Hi, Sorry about your situation. Is it possible for you to arrange a stay in a nearby hotel for your brother when he crosses your city? you can go and meet him and send some items for your sister. Don't let your husband's paranoia bother you at this time. See how you can help your family by offering a workaround.

 

If the coin was flipped and his brother were to drive to visit his sister in similar position would he advised this? Of course, no! I just read his lavish presents to his sister.

The rule of everything will be for your family only with your husband. You shouldn’t relent easily.

My suggestion would be accept him in your house, wear masks, take usual precautions of distance, offer him a room with separate washroom and let him stay overnight. If you are not actually doing personal contact the risk is much less. Talk about this arrangement with your brother ahead of his arrival.

Don’t let go of your courtesy with your family members when they are in need. Don’t worry about the consequences with your husband. It’s your house too and you are a decision maker as well. Good luck.

 

If your husband won’t allow your brother into your house and you cannot resolve this then your brother should feel free to take a flight. Your husband doesn’t get to dictate that.
For the flight ask your brother to get a good mask-I got some FLTR95 masks from Costco that are not medical grade but provide good filtration. He can wear a face shield or safety goggles for added protection. Ask him to use hand sanitizer liberally and wipe down his seat. Carry his own headphone, blanket etc.
Your husband is behaving irrationally with regard to Covid and poorly with the situation overall but only you know if it’s a fight you will win.
Regardless of the means of transport your brother should plan to isolate once in your sister’s city and take a Covid test before interacting with them, for the safety of the mom and newborn.

 

If you feel something strong about anything u should do it. Husband will be grumpy for sometime and will move on. If u know u r right then do it. We women remember sad memories for very long time, guys fogey easily. In fact if your sister want your help u should go and help her. But u have to take your kids and take care of you kids plus her housework.

 

Your brother is a great guy, in Covid he is taking risk and travelling to help sister not for any selfish purpose.
As a sister, you also have right to feel satisfaction of doing whatever u can for your sister. After all it is family.

Your husband is simply being paranoid and selfish, but he cannot dictate like this.
Just think would he give same treatment to his mother or sister???????????? Would he ask them to stay in hotel??????

You must let your brother stay in your house, it is your house too, your husband cannot be final decider in such serious matter involving siblings and breaking relations. Believe me, else u will regret for a lifetime.

Take utmost precautions. If u ask your bro to stay in hotel, it will be very hurt though eh wont say anything.

 

Its not paranoia , ur husband is extremely selfish towards your fmaily in general as per your previous post
Relationship And Trust With Husband Has Gone !

You can let him control u like this, and spoil relations with your siblings- then regret for years to come.

Or u can find self confidence and follow your conscience. Your husband is taking so well care of his sister, why should u spoil relation with your brother?

 

You need to help your brother..
Either he can catch a flight by taking all precautions...if it's not a very long flight he can wear proper mask,... else if he chooses to drive you can invite the brother home and clear a room inside the home with separate washroom..he can spend the night by taking proper precautions with no contact with any of you..in self quarantine..can supply food from a distance .and room can be sanitized after he leaves...

 

Do what you think is right. Stay strong

Ignore any tantrums from your husband