Mil Irritating Me So Much

It is clear indeed that you were not watching soaps - I mean tv Channels in Hindi, tamil, Malayalam and Telugu serials where throughout the day till vee hours throwing numerous novel ideas to do away with or face challenges thrown by “Hitler woman” - the unreasonable gossiping fault finding MIL.

2. Second is instead of responding try in those situations asking counter questions to her. If she starts saying “during those days at your age we were....” just tell her help you verify her statement with some evidence.

• You can say whatever she says “of those days” can never be verified for its veracity.
• You can even dumbfound her, if you like, by telling/ bluffing that “her Mil” was appearing and disturbing you in your early morning dreams and revealed some nasty “truths”.
• It has got to be good a concoction involving kuladeivam coming in dreams with her Mil etc.

3. There was a tamil book authored by late actress Bhanumathi about how she dealt with her MIL. A SERIOUS War mongering ever complaining MIL dealt with by a DIL in humorous ways.. A search in google would help to get the title name and the book. It was previously serialised in magazine Kumudam a weekly.

4. You have to be little imaginative in your sentence to counter her statements, so that she is in a predicament to formulate her next sentence or statement.

5. If DH are meek subordinates to their unreasonable pugnacious moms, DILs should take up the cudgel! You have to take the bull by it’s horns. Confront upfront. குனியக்குனிய குட்டத்தான் செய்வாக ம்மா.

GOD Bless.

 

This is a universal problem unfortunately. No matter how much you do, it is not enough for them. Someone can do better. ALWAYS.

 

I am sorry for your plight and I had been in the same boat few years ago, the same irritating MIL and passive FIL, you cannot do anything to change her, she is made that way in fact I don't if you have noticed she can't take it if she see's you happy, inwardly she is enjoying criticizing and body shaming you, they get an ultimate pleasure in this.

So it is you who have to change, totally ignore her words and do things the way you want to do , when she talks about your health and diet tell her you know the best and you love your body, your reply to her must be stern yet polite, don't just give a hear to her non stop health problems, its her Sons duty to take of her not you, she dint give birth to you nor raised you, concentrate on your kids more, spend more time in pampering yourself.

This is my sincere opinion out of my own experience , no matter what ever you do you will be for ever criticized and judged, no one is going to crown you for being a best DIL.

 

If your MIL taunts you about your health or body shape, be stern and tell this is me and my husband is okay with it. If you are unwell, tell her as you say I am unhealthy so why don't you come and help. If she doesn't help, just make bare minimum and go rest. Let her give you the world's worst DIL certificate, let her call all her people and publish this news. These will not matter 1 bit. Just go on with your life. And pls show that you have self respect, don't allow her to belittle you.

These people no matter what you do will try to find faults with you. So dont even attempt satisfying them, you will only end up regretting for wasting your emotional & physical wellbeing.

 

Don't worry so much. Things will change in coming days. Have faith, have hope in God.
Cool. Don't argue with anyone, it will spoil the relationship itself.

 

You need to tell her different people have different tolerance levels. There are women working in the fields all day. Can she do that? There are men carrying rice bags on their backs ALL DAY. Can your FIL/husband do that? They really need to shut up as long as you are doing your fair share. Does she do her fair share of work? I can never understand the sense of entitlement some people have! They are NOT entitled to showing their frustration on the DIL.