Should We Talk To Our Ex

NO! Big No. They are called EX for a reason.
It didn't work out back then for a reason. Your call will only bring heartache and stir up emotions.
May add to your unhappiness to your marriage.
You will definitely walk the path of WHAT IF I MARRIED HIM...?? phase.

My 2 cents- focus on now. Make new friends. LIVE IN NOW.
Don't try to go back and try to re-live the "good moments".
Make good moments NOW!

 

Don't do it. It is not worth it, even if your marriage is not a happy one. More unhappiness to you, even if you feel better after talking. Also, if it was a strong bong before you wont be able to stop talking to him or text him, dont make the connection that you once broke off. As always, married ex will never prefer you over his wife. You will be a third wheel, and it will be more heart ache then than it is now.

 

Someone I know ventured into this terrain recently and the husband and wife are having a tough time along with their kid. They are fighting and the kid is caught in between. The wife's parents are miserable. Don't ever look outside because there is trouble at home. Look for what you lost where you lost it, not somewhere else.

 

Please don't bring your past into your present and spoil your future. Let him be part your memory, but not your present life it can create issues in his life too. So better move on and focus on your life.

 

Listen to your heart, but always with a pinch of salt/reality.

It would be difficult to pass the days without taking that "one call" to know how your beloved "ex" is doing?
That 'wanting to talk to him" would remain in your heart as long as you are alive, and disturb your happiness no matter what.

But "taking that one call" has so much grey areas, only you know better!
Possibly, it could be just to say hi...
Could be just to relive the past
Could be just to get his attention and affection back (since you are deprived of it now apparently)
Could be just to know how he is doing in life
Could be just to give him the warmth that you did not give 10 years back
Could be just to brag about your present status
Could be just to say sorry
Could be just to clarify certain things that are still unresolved
Could be just to take this relationship to a different direction - like a family friend/brother - not sure
Could be anything else.....

Just try to speak with your mind in silence... why do you want to take that one call?

My ex - actually, he was not my ex, but I was his ex since it was his one side love story
We were just friends, but very close friends back then. He was like a dear brother to me until I learned he had other ideas. Then I slowly detached from him since I was not ready for a relationship during that stage of my life then.

We completely disconnected with each other for nearly 15 years or so. No news at all.
Of course I missed him every now and then, since I don't have an elder brother - I missed his brotherly warmth that was so protective and caring back then.
He must have missed me even more during all those while, but we never made an attempt to reconnect given our bitter past - the last day of our meeting!

However, we got reconnected 5 years back through social media. He badly wanted to meet me for once.
I decided to go and meet him with my family in a restaurant for dinner.
That night completely changed him..... Changed the way he looked at me!!
He was so happy to see me happily married with kids, and acting as a responsible mother!
I was happy to learn that he is married too, with 2 young kids
That was it....

Now that, we rarely interact in social media.. Perhaps a hi or bye once in a while, a common birthday wish etc... no more whatsapp chat though we have each others' no.
But the heart feels so relaxed. No more guilt feeling... No more heaviness.... But only those sweet memories remain
But we are so busy with our present lives!

I would suggest you to make this call/meeting the way I did.
If your H knows him, then have him around. There is nothing that works after marriage if you exclude your spouse from it.

 

No, don’t do it. If you aren’t able to discuss with your husband then it will cause problems in your marital life. If you are able to openly tell your husband about this then it might be a possibility but you have written you will not.

Moreover the guy is married already and his wife might not like it either. If she comes to know about this he will distance himself from you. Mostly wives are possessive and she might not take it well. It will become a problem to him if his wife disagrees.

Why spoil the current status quo? You might have more problems due to contacting him. More stress and can even give sadness. Past is past for a reason.

 

You will ONLY CREATE more headache and drama. DONT do this at all. Otherwise few months/yrs later, guaranteed a complicated thread will be written by you here in this forum.

 

Hope you didn’t call him.already you’re saying your marriage is not a happy one. By doing this don’t make it a hell dear.