Why do people in India look down upon housewives?

hi prachi,
Its not only the money issue its also ego that plays a roll here.long back woman were entitled to home and was branded as an home-maker,now the society has changed a lot and we do go out to earn and understand the life more.But the basic thought that strikes ones mind is when a woman earns society speaks ill about her,they feel her husband is soooooooooo rich but she neglects home and goes out to earn only a working woman knows how much is toiling to balance her family and carrier.if she is at home society says she is so well educated but stays at home her PILS are there to care for her children but still she at home poor girl--------can we change this attitude of our society and can we change the mind set of people----sometimes woman feels neglected both the ways.being an home maker is also not easy task she needs to be on tenterhooks always,caring each person at home,and everybody feels all the duties at home is hers and men folk always feels its their moral right to sit and get served since they are the bread winners and woman weather home maker or an earning member need to take the both in the right spirit because its MAN MADE. There are some men who do join in household with her and help her to build her carrier and at the same time see that she binds with family also.

 

Its the cheap mentality that indian family have gained these days. they are just looking for working ladies they dont respect housewives any more.. thats the worst part of our society... its time to wake up... housewives are the best part of the society and family

 

Live the life for you & not for others. Do the things which makes you happy.

 

It doesn't just stop at wether a woman is working or not...if the woman is working then she might be compared to her relatives like SIL, Cousins or others about who earns more, has a bigger house etc. So it is not like respect is guarenteed if a woman is working. But I do accept your point in that there is at definitely more respect give to a working woman than a housewife. Somehow there is a perception that if you are ot working, the reason must be that you are not smart enough! I have faced enough snide remarks from family and friends for not only being a housewife but also having only one kid, as in others eyes that means I have more time to while away!!

 

Just saw this thread after a random search and found it interesting. I don't think anyone would appreciate a man staying home. Especially in India. Societies abroad might be liberal in this regard but even they do not appreciate it. I however think couples should do what works best for them.

 

Men or women who don’t work will never be respected even by their kids. You education system has invested in you and yet you become a free loader. expect someone else to earn the bread. money is important today for survival unless you are born to Ambanis.
The same way men prefer women who work, women also prefer men who cook and help in household work. That’s how households are balanced.
Feminism has not backfired on us its our expectation that has backfired on us.

 

Nicely put but I think taking care of the house is as important and time consuming as a regular job if not more. But women get respect for doing that and men won't.

 

Will tell you something interesting...

1) when I was working..

I went to a getogether where everyone was a homemaker.One of them asked me if I was working and I said yes.Casually as a reflex reaction I asked “ what do you do?”.
She replied “ I am a full time mom who works 24/7”.
All the other homemakers were like..“Exactly! It is such a thankless job but some won’t understand “ and smirked.I felt uneasy.


When am a homemaker..

You should work and that’s why your kids will respect and feel good about you!I smiled and asked “ tomorrow what if tables reversed? I start working and a woman who works quits?” So kids should stop respecting their mom?
A parent should be given basic respect irrespective of their priorities and if my kid is not respectful then am not raising my child well.



I feel it is perception,opinion based on how we feel about ourselves.Things differs from person to person.

For some they work for of peer pressure,financial hurdles,some are career oriented and each one in this world wants to prove they are doing the right thing.

I have had working woman ask me
“What do you do at home all day and how come you are happy being home”.

I have had homemakers ask me “ How come you are happy being home.I wish I did something”.

I am like “ then do something!” ( in my mind).

Honestly..am a homemaker coz I want to! I like a balanced life coz financially we are decent (not very well to do) and content and have my fair share of hobbies.I am not going to lie that I stay home coz of my kids etc .I stay home for ME! The moment I accepted this,I am happier but I do get some envious questions.

I have known homemakers who work very hard and some very lazy but just talk and act as though they are hardworking.When I was working..I knew women who gave their best and some who really did not have any interest and did sloppy work.It depends on the person.One cannot generalize.

If you want to work..you will work.
If you want to stay back at home..you of course can.
No excuses.

Never group with other women and talk who is better than the other.Have your own opinion and respect the other side.Trust me..it will gain you respect and people understand sooner or later.

Nothing is wrong.Society will always give opinions based on their insecurities a just to make themselves feel good .

The more confident you are with your situation..you will get confused jealous glances (be prepared) but the only one you need to convince and move on is YOU!

 

Wow that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for such an elaborate response. I was reading stuff about gender equality and was discussing it with wife and that's when this issue was brought up. Women do face a lot of challenges but they also have a social cushion for a lot of things. For example, society might be harsh with a lot of things but it will be 'more' harsh with a man who stays home. That's my point. Nonetheless, we also talked about me staying home at some point and we might go ahead with it! But not till the time I am living with my in-laws.

 

@anika987
#68 such a response can come only from a balanced mind. I envy you.

But then the thread posted in 2013 and the OP from NEW Delhi then remains dormant since then. This seems to be her last thread.
Thanks and Regards.