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Coping With Loss

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Hopikrishnan, Jun 30, 2020.

  1. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    She had been with me for a long long time. And now she is in a ceramic vase. Not many could make it to the funeral, what with the Covid travel restrictions, and the stresses of life in each family. Her children, living in a different continent, couldn't come either. There was just me, and a few of my work colleagues at the crematorium. The vase is now in my 2BHK flat. I am "working from home", and not doing much work. It isn't possible to work when I am taking medicine to deal with aches.

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    Perhaps grownup members may suggest good variations on the anesthetics for me. During the gift-giving seasons there is much talk about getting a thing for someone who has everything. How about suggesting an anesthetic for someone who doesn't see much point in anything ?
     
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  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Deepest condolences especially for a loss at this time. when one cant have the company of dear ones to share the grief. It is easy to preach , yet alcohol is surely not the panacea which can only get you into greater struggles in life. As it is so correctly said, time is the only healer - until then stay strong and positive with only good memories . God bless
     
  3. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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  4. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    If you would like to talk about it: How recent was your loss? I am asking because I hope you have been able to give yourself time to grieve. I understand it is not a matter of days or weeks. But at least some time so you can take care of yourself, process everything and give yourself what you need. Does your workplace have some additional time off for personal loss? (some workplaces do) Please take care of yourself.
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sometimes life can be like a post. We have to click Like on it, the clicking just needs to be done, though a birdie on the shoulder seems to adopt an inaudible litany: "tell me it ain't so."

    May the sorrow pass, the memories remain. You be nice to you, now. You owe that to you and yours.
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    Last edited: Jun 30, 2020
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:@Hopikrishnan
    This is first time you post here seeking help from fellow IL’tes to provide suggestions to overcome a void that is created by the death of a colleague.
    It welled up my eyes as I read, that she - your office colleague- in ceramic vase and departed without her own dear one’s nearby. All at a time when covid19 hindered the usual formalities .
    It is heartening to note a bosom friend could render so much to the departed soul at the moment destiny plucked and taken away her soul to infinity where from she looks at you. She is not dead. She lives in your mind with that glorious moments of association for ever.
    If you had not touched alcohol yet, continue to remain so that let you recount happier events and joy in her association in office business.
    May her soul RIP.
     
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  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry for your loss. You can talk about her here, tell us more about her. Reliving the memories helps in a perverse way. May her soul Rest In Peace and May God give you the strength to bear this.
     
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  8. ranju5

    ranju5 Silver IL'ite

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    Absolutely agree with this sound advice. Stay strong. God bless you.
     
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  9. madras2018

    madras2018 Platinum IL'ite

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    If I may ask what relationship did you have with her ? Colleagues ? Friends ?

     
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  10. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    @Hopikrishnan ,
    There is no response from you to the advice/ responses in this column. Do login here and share your thoughts , hoping that you are in a better frame of mind and have found peace
     
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